Sevenoaks and SEN or Tonbridge and SEN?

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We are in the midst of moving between Tonbridge and Sevenoaks. We had thought Sevenoaks might be a good fit for DS v sporty, v strong in maths, top sets most things but ….. he has ADHD …. Just read the isi and it seems not good at supporting SEN?

My husband also has adhd but 1st from Cambridge etc (natsci) so we are v much of the opinion that SEN supported kids can thrive in the right environment. On our tour Sevenoaks said they did this but the isi seem to disagree. How have Sen parents actually found the school? Is there 1:1 support? What is the general classroom environment like? Calm and focussed or lively? DS great at maths/science but needs support with learning skills like essay planning/ organising thoughts/ summarising relevant information for notes etc for humanities (but then what he writes is good).

We had thought we would prefer Sevenoaks as coed (and would prefer to avoid a lads culture) but maybe Tonbridge is better?

I know someone with AuADHD and whilst they get through on their intelligence, the IB unfortunately throws them over the edge. I think AL would suit your son more given he is more likely to focus on his strengths?
I don’t think you get value addedness at Sevenoaks. Having had sons in both, I would choose Tonbridge anyday. No direct experience of SEN though

Thankfully he is strong in languages as I am bilingual and his grandparents also (so he is almost fluent, we all make an effort to speak and write in both around him) so think looking at IB subject options he could do 2x science at HL with maths Hl and language and take SL English and go for something like economics for his humanity/group 3. The extended essay would probably work for his areas of hyper focus in Sciences and Maths but imagine TOK he would zone out. I think it would likely be close between the two as of course could go down the maths/ further maths/ chem /physics type route with AL.

However, he will need support with revision strategies and general essay planning skills down the line at GCSE/IB. He will very much over focus on one strand of an argument/area of interest or in English will spend too long setting the scene/developing one dialogue in a timed essay. Very oblivious to time which is isn’t such an issue in stem subjects as he is very fast but more of a problem in more open ended subjects.

@Truetoself why would you go for Tonbridge over Sevenoaks having experienced both? We have a younger dd (no idea what she will be like as pre-prep) so one school run down the line holds appeal if she ends up being more academic. DS is academic, v bookish, v good at cricket , sailing obsessive and a club swimmer. However, definitely a introvert! DH went to a boys boarding school, highly regarded but found the lads rugby culture an issue so keen to avoid these vibes. If you have experienced both is one school better for quieter boys? Does one have a quieter more focused classroom atmosphere? Appreciate you don’t have Sen experience but hoping others might 🤞

At the moment the things like teachers checking he understands instructions and time reminders make a big difference. We were a bit worried that the ISI for Sevenoaks criticised the lack of differentiation like this in lessons/the classroom.

from what you have said you are looking for, I don’t think you will get that support at Sevenoaks. It is like a university. Better for the self starter.

I think Tonbridge is accomodating of different types of people and there is something for everyone (as there is at Sevenoaks). However, the pastoral care is far superior

@Truetoselfis totally wrong based on our experience. It’s a very dated view of Sevenoaks. The school has changed a lot in recent years and I’ve heard that old trope about it being like a university so many times, it’s simply not true. I have/ recently had two neurodiverse DCs at Sevenoaks and both have been very supported. Small tutor groups, weekly 1-1 SEND sessions etc. One DC has a very ND friend group and has been told by a teacher that around 25% of the student body have some neurodiversity or SEND need (I don’t know if this is true, you’d need to check). I’m not sure about the IB as my first DC left to do A-levels, this had nothing to do with SEND support though, he wanted to do the 3 sciences and Maths.

My DS left Summer 2024 @CakesofPanand the opinion of his cohort of parents was similar about it being like a Uni. Each to their own!