State school vs private primary school

[LittlefoxMama]

Hi ladies! I know this topic is as old as time, but I could really do with some advice.

My son is currently in pre-prep at a selective private school. The school is wonderful: great facilities, lots of clubs, and freshly cooked meals. He has been offered a place in Reception, even though he’s the youngest in the cohort. I really love the school, but it is expensive, and we are not in a position to pay £12,000 per year without making significant sacrifices.

We also have a couple of state schools nearby. They are all Ofsted “Good”, but their performance is fairly average. For example, only 59% of pupils met the expected standard in reading, writing, and maths in 2024. One of the schools doesn’t have its own kitchen and uses externally provided meals, and overall the facilities are much more modest.

My husband believes that state schools plus some tutoring would provide the same level of education as the private school, and that it doesn’t make sense to pay so much at primary level.

My questions are:

• Can state schools with average results still provide a strong academic foundation?
• Does it really make sense to pay for private primary education?

We’re not originally from the UK, so we don’t have much insight into the differences between the state and private systems.
Thank you!

Our dcs are at a private prep and for us it makes sense because it's affordable without any sacrifices, their personalities mean the smaller class sizes make a big difference, and we value the extracurriculars. It sounds like it would be a struggle for your family and I don't think it's worth it if you couldn't have family holidays and extracurriculars. You could certainly get an excellent academic foundation even in a school with poor results, by relying on tutoring and extra work at home, although that would mean sacrifices in terms of time (for fun activities and effort for the parent).

It sounds like you have made quite a limited search for schools with just a prep and 2 state schools. It is worth looking at schools further away, depending on demographics in your area. We are in London and birth rates have dropped so much that some excellent schools with good results are undersubscribed. If you don't have strong ties to an area and are renting, it could also be an option to move next to a better school, although it's too late for that if you're looking at 2026 entry.

Hi OP, I was privately educated and have worked in both private and state schools. There isn't an easy answer to this from my perspective. Different schools suit different children and different family circumstances. Not all private or prep schools are equal, just like state schools. For me it's about finding the right environment for your child to flourish in. In state primary then you will, from what you say, invest time and funds into extra curricular activities, in prep these will be part of the school day.
For some, the basic grounding at prep will help them thrive later in a grammar or so on, for others I'd consider state primary then move for Senior. Budget obviously comes into it too. And your own work. Prep/Private are longer hours making it easier for your own career.
I'd look at the culture of the schools, and begin to define what is best for your child. Some less academic are better suited to prep/private whilst more academic to state. look at all the options local to you, visit, visit again, ask questions, observe children and parents then perhaps ask again about specific schools on here.

We went for Private Secondary after State primary as we had a good State option at Primary
Saved us a LOAD of money (2 DC) and the DC were much more streetwisee and mature than many of their peers who had come through The Prep. There was no knowledge gap really and both settled in well. I also think they adapted better to the large State 6th form than some of their peers
Both did well in GCSE's and had friends from both schools, they reconnected with many primary peers at 6th form.
Right decision for us

Have you looked at how the fees increase as they go up through the school?

Do you anticipate your income rising at at least the same rate?

If not and you’re struggling to afford the fees now, it’s time to start looking at which local state primaries have space and giving notice to the current school. You’re already committed until Easter 2026.

It depends on so many factors. A good private school will set them for so much success on all fronts. They will get 10x the sport, art, drama all taught by specialist teachers. They’ll be physically fitter and fed decent food. If you can afford it then I’d go for private primary and build a confident child who can then take advantage of what’s on offer at a state secondary assuming it’s not dire!

We just moved our DD9 and DS7 from state primary to private a couple of weeks ago. The private school has smaller classes so they can't blend into the backgound and the teachers are encouraged to split work into different abilities.

I would say that state is good for the majority but if your child is at the expected level the school won't push them higher. It maybe our state school but the teachers were not regularly giving out different levels of work. They were trying to get those who weren't at the expected level up.

However, every school is different I know some very able children from the state school who would not like the private school at all.

You have to look at school versus school rather than state v primary. I have one in state primary and one in a prep. There is massive variation even within one school depending on the specific cohort of a class. Differences I have found:

1. better sport, music and drama provision. The latter two are worlds apart.
2. calmer, less stressful environment
3. more homework and testing
4. longer holidays (can be a pain to cover if you’re working but longer days
5. better food (but at a higher cost)
6. Better school trips but also the offer of some pretty expensive optional ones.
7. no sats so once 11 plus done year 6 has a broader curriculum than state.
8. Better provision of languages, science and humanities.
9. proper medical provision on site for first aid and sickness.

I don’t think the teaching is any better as such but the environment is an easier one and the curriculum is broader.

To me, it’s better to go from a selective private primary to a grammar school than from a state primary to an independent senior school that isn’t as academically selective. Peers make a huge difference, and this way your child is with bright friends all the way through — plus it’s cheaper, as senior school fees are higher.

Private school at primary level doesn't offer enough advantage to make significant sacrifices worth while.

Go for a state school, pay for tutoring if needed, pay for your child to have music lessons, swimming lessons and a hobby or two. That's a much more cost effective way to get the same outcome.

Private secondary school can be worth big sacrifices depending on the state options where you are.

Think long and hard about what you are comparing.
A state school that gets 59% of children to the nationally expected standard is around average (62% nationally).

Private schools:

• sometimes overtly select their intake based on performance in interviews and selection tests.
• even if they don’t, will probably not admit from the natural spectrum of ability and parental support.

There is no reliable metric to compare the value that a private school adds, compared with a state school.

Most state primaries are good.

93% of children in England go to entirely state-funded schools. Nothing at all wrong with private and they can be excellent if you get a good one and can afford it no problem.

It’s a lot of indirect pressure to put on a child, to sacrifice your family’s standard of living just to pay for a private education, and I personally think that’s inasvisable. But you should do what you think is best.

The answer to your first question is no, they can't but you as parents can supplement (or substitute if not lucky) that with tutoring. Your DS will be exhausted doing two shifts and you will still have to pay tutors or sacrifice your own time teaching him after work, but it will be cheaper than 12k.

The massive difference between state and private is sport provision and sport is essential for boys (not that it's unimportant for girls but young boys need to move more). You will have to take your DS to local sport clubs in addition to tutoring after school.

The answer to your second question is very subjective :) but private primary education is not about academics, it's more about building character and developing personality, especially in selective schools.

State primary was fine 5+ years ago. Things have changed a lot post-covid. My oldest 2 went to state primary and private secondary. But by the time my youngest started, I'd seen the change (primary teacher) and there was no way I was sending them to a state school. I'd advise anyone to go private if they can afford it.

I agree that the way you reduce the gap between state and private is time invested - ferrying them to extracurriculars that they otherwise would get in school, doing extra support at home on a daily basis to reinforce or extend learning, coordinating tutoring and really staying on top of in year expectations.

when I worked flexible part time hours it was manageable, but also felt like a second job and was asking a lot from the kids who were a bit overstimulated after a day in a class of 30+. I am back to full time now (in part to pay fees) and it is so much easier in private - I collect them at 5:30/6 and they have done all of their extracurriculars, 90% of their homework, and are balanced happy children due to a balanced curriculum with loads of downtime in the day. I don’t feel like I have to ruthlessly track dc progress as school is very proactive about providing enrichment or extra support when identified. And my nd child is exceptionally well supported- we went private be a she was struggling, but both dc have had major improvements in school engagement and enjoyment.

Looking at the longer term, think about what your secondary options are. If you have a good state grammar nearby, and you would expect them to get in, you might prefer to invest in private education at primary level to help ensure that. If the local state secondaries are not good, you might want to save your money for later. Even if they are good, it might be reassuring to know you've enough money stashed away that if things are not working, you could fund private school for the GCSE years if necessary.

Some state schools are absolutely fine, although some are struggling with increasing numbers of SEN children with insufficient support. Don't just go off the percentage achieving expected standards: just because only 59% do, that doesn't mean your child only has a 59% chance. Look to see whether they are getting some "greater depth", as an indication that the brighter children are not held back by the needs of the less able.

Imagine what else you could spend the £12k on. Music lessons. Sports clubs. Tutoring if they do seem to need a bit more attention. Holidays. Having a slightly less stressful job so you can spend more time as a family.

Where I live, school meals were abandoned in the 80s and few now have cooked meals. Parents do packed lunch and dc seem happy. It’s a grammar county and plenty of dc are bright in state schools.

I have to say, if you cannot afford £12,000 you cannot afford private education in future years. It costs a lot more as dc get older. My DDs old prep is now £7,250 a term from y3. If you cannot afford this, just go up to y2 but you might find the best state schools are full at that point. DD2 at prep school didn’t take sats or 11 plus.

DD1 did state from YR to Y6. There are plenty of dc who are very bright in state schools. The education is not as broad and sport, art, drama nowhere near as good. Music was very good though but it’s teacher dependent and talented dc help! Some schools are poor. However the best state schools try hard. They also should teach the NC with extension work for the brightest. Some schools don’t do this so check this out. Fewer clubs. DDs old prep has after school clubs included in the fees so it suits working parents.

@LittlefoxMama You need to look at the school population data. 59% is low for my area. So is it high sen? High fsm? How many exceeding? Will dc find similar dc to work with in enough number? Most schools are good but you need to drill down a bit deeper. What range of state options do you have and are you likely to get a place in a school with higher achieving dc?

Then decide on your destination school at 11 or 13. State or private and at what age? What can you afford? You do need to think about this.

We have three schools in our catchment area: one Church of England school and two secular ones. Two of them have roughly the same performance, while the third performs worse. The CoE school appears slightly better overall, but only 8% of pupils exceed expectations and around 50% go on to selective state schools. I’m concerned because it’s a religious school (we’re not very religious), and its performance isn’t particularly strong. My DS enjoys homework at the moment, and I worry he wouldn’t be challenged enough there.

It’s not as though we’d be making huge financial sacrifices (like need to sell the house), and to be honest, we paid almost the same for nursery last year but we would feel a bit less comfortable of course.

Thank you! How can I tell whether bright children are actually supported? When we visit schools, everyone says that kids are challenged and well-supported, but in reality the performance numbers often suggest the opposite. It’s not that I want to spend extra money on education, but I do have the feeling that schools in our catchment area are fairly average, and our Ds might not try his best if the class isn’t academically strong.

Yes, this was our idea - apply to grammar school after primary school. Private school does not prepare for the exam and probably tutor would still be needed for this. I agree that environment matters, that was my argument for private school

Are there places in the year groups you need in the state schools you’re thinking about?

Private is great for secondary school. State is fine for primary school + you get used to diversity which is great. In my ds secondary there is only 3 non whites in the whole school which is a bit sad I think.

Most schools who use the term Pre Prep go from either Nursery or Reception to Yr 2 under the term Pre Prep and then Prep for Yrs 3-6 or 8. One common advantage of private/independent primary level education is often getting into the prep school of the same organisation without taking entrance assessments in Yr2.

Sports can be a plus, the facilities and grounds are often really excellent. Sticking points can be contact rugby from as early as Yr4. Often in schools where Y8 is the top year, yrs 3 and 4 are a bit too sport heavy. Sport is so important that it can - in some schools - get a young person through to the end of GCSEs only to find themselves unwanted in their independent sixth form if that's their chief skill.

@LittlefoxMama So 50% go to selective state schools but only 8% get exceeding? That’s not a selective secondary education. I’m in Bucks and no school would have stats like this for state grammars. We have 13 of them. They aren’t super selective and virtually every child in them is exceeding at primary.

You need to look at government stats regarding high achievers. These are the pool of dc likely to get to a grammar school. You cannot consider the middle achievers as likely to get to a grammar. You cannot plan to get into one either. Lots of things might stop that happening.

Where are you? Lots of country preps fo to 13, not 11. However you need to look at what money you have available for primary and decide if it’s worth it.

The truth of primary education is that it follows the money. Most people with good jobs earning plenty will be intelligent and have a lot of interest in education. Dc will be enthusiastic learners. You want a school with parents like this. Religion is besides the point.

Agree with this, personally! My daughter is in her last year of private primary and will go to a grammar next year when she starts secondary. I wanted the protected, small-class, academic experience for primary to lay some good foundations, but I want her to see a bit more of real life in secondary! I understand all the different arguments, though. For me, private primary has been a good investment.

We have many parents in Bucks who think dc will get to a grammar but they don’t. You can spot the very bright ones in YR but others are not so precocious. Dc don’t develop at the same rate and plans aren’t always executed. Sitting next to bright dc at a private school doesn’t make dc get the pass mark.