Which of these 4 options (state/private) for dyslexic DD

[Bearlionfalcon]

We have another year to mull this dilemma and of course we don’t know for sure where we will get places but these are the likely options, and I’d like to know how you’d rank them in order of preference, for an artistic, bright, creative but pretty dyslexic DD who can hide away in a class of 30 and benefits a lot from 1:1 attention

Option 1:
Big, local mixed comp.

Pluses: because it’s big, it’s pretty well resourced, including a good and well-resourced art department. Lots of creative GCSE options. Local, so she will have local friends. Free.

Minuses: reports of poor behaviour. Very uninspiring head. Doesn’t have great SEND support, and what it does have is in demand from some seriously challenging pupils. I fear she and her needs will get lost in such a big school; one of the school’s subject teachers told me she has no time to even look at which of her pupils she teaches have additional needs like dyslexia. Pupils giving the tour were pretty monosyllabic.

Option 2:

Small local all-girls’ comp.

Pluses: good academic reputation, good progress 8 score, ofsted outstanding. Reports of behaviour are very good - it seems calm and studious. Small, which means DD more likely to be known. Single sex, which I think will suit her. Local, so she will have local friends. Free. Pupils giving the tour were lovely if quite shy.

Minuses: Small, cramped and quite uninspiring site. Art department was tiny and not all that well resourced, and this is the one thing DD really excels in - though enthusiastic new head of department has just joined and is keen to make it more of a priority. Fewer creative GCSE options than the big comp. Curriculum seems very light on creative subjects, they just don’t seem to be. Huge priority. SEND team were a bit unenthusiastic and noncommittal about support when I met them.

Option 3:
Local mixed non-selective private school.

Pluses: Small class sizes, so more 1:1 attention. Good dyslexia support. Pretty good art department. Good academic results without pressure. Pupils giving the tour seemed lovely, happy and confident. Local, so she would have local friends.

Minuses: fees of over £30k a year, which would be a stretch for us/ ok for one DC on the basis of her dyslexia but not all our 3 DC and I fear this is a can of worms. Small site. Will it be a small pool of friends/ a bit of a weird bubble? Boy-heavy intake due to it being a rare non selective private school that’s mixed.

option 4:
Well-regarded all girls private school

Pluses: VV good reputation for pastoral care, academics and enrichment. Small class sizes, so more 1:1 attention. Excellent dyslexia support. Lovely art department. Strong pastoral care. Broad curriculum y7-9 with lots of enrichment / artsy opportunities. Good academic results without pressure. Single sex, which I feel would suit DD. Pupils giving the tour seemed lovely, happy and confident.

Minuses: 35-45 mins commute into central london which might be a bit grim at first. Fees of over £30k a year, which would be a stretch for us/ ok for one DC on the basis of her dyslexia but not all our 3 DC and I fear this is a can of worms. Small (though very beautiful) site. Girls seem lovely but is it a privileged bubble? Slightly disappointing range of creative GCSE options.

It feels like so much to weigh up, and I keep debating how much weight to give each consideration (being local vs all girls vs good dyslexia support vs good art dept vs GCSE options vs not having the pressure on the family of paying £35k a year) etc etc! Would really appreciate advice on which factors to prioritise, from those who have done all this and come out of the other side. TIA!

Go for the comp with the best creative curriculum. As your dd has diagnosed dyslexia she'll get extra time in exams and presumably good results in the creative subjects. If she's bright, she should still be able to do well.in gcses, it's A levels where things get trickier.

Schools don’t get extra funding for pupils with dyslexia. You will never get 1-1 in a state school. But you can still get a great education and it will prepare you for the real world. If you want lots of individual support then pay a fortune at private school.

Option 2 - I think that would be the best option.

If the private school fees will stretch you, and the art resources are poor, then find an art club or art teacher and pay for private lessons. A lot cheaper than private school fees!

I would rule out both the Private schools based on the fact you have other children (I'm presuming younger than your daughter) and you don't know what their needs will be as they get older and approach secondary school age. If you stretch yourself to afford it for one child what happens if one of the others would also benefit in future?

I would personally go for option 1. The all girls comp may say they are keen to improve their art department but that's just words, whereas you already know the mixed comp has a well established department. The teacher not knowing who has additional needs sounds like an anomaly most will be fully aware of this information and a bigger school often means more opportunity for support even with more challenging pupils.

Option 2. You can’t afford private and poor behaviour in option 1 makes all the other good points meaningless.

Option 2 and fund her artistic pursuits outside of school

This

This is spot on. The negative behaviour in School 1 negates any of the good bits on offer.

If she was your youngest or only child, I would suggest Option 3 but as you have younger dc, this would become tricky. The money you save could also be used to pay for tutors with Dyslexia experience/qualifications outside of school, if needed.

You make a very good point @Silverbirchleaf and I had thought the same - saving £30,000 a year means we could fund the specific things she needs outside school, including really good dyslexia support and a lot of arty enrichment. It’s what’s we’ve been doing up until now (she is at a state primary which is lovely in many ways but can’t offer a huge amount of dyslexia support). Selfishly I do feel this model of sourcing all the things she needs outside of school / doing all the support with her at home does put quite a lot of pressure on me as a parent (two younger DC as well and a full time job) but I guess paying for private school would just be a different kind of pressure! And both the private schools have been upfront that while they offer a lot of help to dyslexia pupils just through smaller group working etc, any actual 1:1 sessions with a dyslexia specialist do cost extra

Thanks for this, I think what you’ve expressed is my gut feeling - if there is bad behaviour there’s not much point in all the other stuff! Even the new head of art at school option two said this to me - I was honest with her that I was attracted to option 1 by the arts department as she said ‘but what is the behaviour like in those art classes?’ And she went on to say that the standard behaviour in the option 2 school was the best she had ever seen in her years of teaching. It’s girls who really want to learn

There’s at least one dyslexia specialist school in London too. I came across them when looking for somewhere suitable for my autistic dd. I can’t remember the name, but google will find it.

I’d go for option 2 out of your options, assuming your other children are younger than your dd. You may find someone else also needs support, and you’ll have spent the money elsewhere. Better to use some of that £30k for support outside of school.

I think the attitudes of the kids on the open day would put me off school 1. School 2 sounds like a good mix, and if your dd is good at art, she’ll maybe get more attention in a school where the new art teacher her isn’t surrounded by other kids who are as good?

Yes the 1:1 support sessions will be charged on top + VAT

I'd ask your DD her opinions on school 1&2.

I wouldn't consider the Private schools as you don't know if your younger children will also need similar support in the future- a £10k a year fund for each of them will allow all of them to have their needs met.

I find the idea of a teacher not having time to look at what needs her pupils have a por example... my own DD is dyslexic and although its her English teacher leading it, all the teachers are putting into place her adjustments they are trialling currently.

https://www.flexi-schooldyslexia.co.uk

Is there so thing like this in your area? A friend sent her children there. You attend normal school, but can take time out to attend this ‘school’ during school hours. If you’re not in the Kent area , they may be able to inform you of other similar schools.

I would go for option 2. This option gives you the most opportunity to supplement her education in a meaningful way with a 1 on 1 dyslexia tutor after school (possibly more in different subjects as it sounds like she’s bright and will want to succeed).

I also think the only plus side of option 1 sounds to be more creative GCSE options but in reality your daughter will probably only take one anyway? Unless you are also keen on Drama or Music?

Make sure you have her properly diagnosed and start secondary in a position where you can give the SENCO any reports and recommendations that have been given. They will then make sure she has extra time etc. Don’t expect any 1 on 1 support from the school although if you are lucky you’ll find a few teachers who really get her way of thinking and will incorporate that into their teaching.

My daughter sounds similar to yours. The best thing we did was get really excellent dyslexia friendly tutors for her.

You might find that options 3 and 4 will say no. Non selective doesn’t mean that they can’t say they can’t meet your child’s needs and decline her application.

Thanks so much for all the thoughts, super helpful.

@zhu thanks for this, good point that maybe she will get more attention in a small, quiet art department with a keen new teacher.

@silverbirchleaf that place looks amazing - we are not in Kent but I will definitely look into whether she could do anything similar as this would be absolutely ideal.

@fuzzywolf it’s not the case that these two private schools would point blank refuse a dyslexic child - I’ve looked at lots of privates and always been super upfront about her needs and you can tell straight away which schools are not keen for us to apply and I’ve steered well clear of those. These two schools have both been really encouraging about us applying, both have also encouraged us to apply for an art scholarship based on her work.

Seems pretty unanimous that we should rule out the private school options which offer more dyslexia support, which is interesting - is that purely ‘in case’ the younger DC end up needing private school, or do people think it’s not acceptable anyway to send one of three DC private and not the others - even if it’s so they can receive more support for a specific learning need?

It’s true we have two younger DC, the middle one doesn’t have any leaning issues and seems academic so far (too early to tell with youngest as he is a baby)

There is something a bit uncomfortable about the idea of sending one private and not the others but on the other hand her dyslexia is profound and I do feel for DD1 it could make the difference between GCSE grades that allow her to do what she wants in life and GCSE grades that really limit her options. I can say for almost sure this wouldn’t be the case for DD2 who is ‘greater depth’ on everything etc. So on the surface sending them both to the local state is ‘equal’ treatment, but it’s also sort of not, because the local state will meet the needs of one, and not the other.

But I do agree that support out of school can be added to that to meet her needs (hopefully) and that this is probably a more financially sensible option than private school. Option 2 with support out of school does seem the most sensible option and is I think what my DH would favour.

Just to be devil’s advicate, since no one thinks we should send her private - I don’t really have any doubt that the private school would be the nicest environment for her and the purpose of the private school would mainly be to ensure that she has a happy and inspiring experience of education (something which is hard to achieve given her dyslexia). Her dyslexia is such that school is tough for her especially in a class of 30 where there are lots of other needs around. And even though everything on this thread makes sense it somehow feels hard to turn down the chance to secure the best environment for her given her needs, just in case in the future we have another child who needs money for something else.

I had one dd diagnosed with autism in y7, and the second one is now going through the assessment process in y5, so I don’t think it’s always apparent early on which children will need additional support.Maybe for your dd2, extra tutoring would be the difference between doing well and getting straight 9s. You might regret putting all your resources in one child. If you felt it was realistic that your salaries would increase over time… well, maybe, but if it’s a struggle now, it will probably only become more so. Fees seem to increase about 10% a year, so pretty soon you’d need to be finding £35k a year, then maybe £40k by the time she’s in 6th form. Top level fees also don’t include compulsory lunches, trips, music lessons. You could pay about £1k a term above the “list price” very easily.

Really interested in your experiences of secondary school with your dyslexic DD @TheNightingalesStarling - how have you navigated it? What sort of discussions age you had with the school?

@saywh4tnow the thing about GCSE options is maybe a bit niche but at 8 my DD is already making her own clothes with a sewing machine, she is mega creative and loves textiles. At school option 2 there is generic D and T gcse and art gcse but nothing else. At option 1, the big comp, they offer textiles, DT, art, graphic design and product design. Then at A level there’s a whole load of other things like photography as well.

@Zhu thanks for sharing your experience. That’s a really fair point that things can become apparent later on (if I’d known three years ago what I know now about DD1’s dyslexia then DC3 might not be here to be honest!) You’re right to point out that you never know what the future holds and that DD2 could well have needs of her own even if she ‘seems fine’ now! I just wish we had a crystal ball, as I feel so much pressure to get his decision right for DD1 and I’m so worried about her losing all her faith in herself and falling out of love with learning completely at secondary school if I don’t get this right for her.

I don't think my DDs is as severe as yours.
So for the first three years, she's not really needed anything differ(unlike at Primary School). But a lot of the teachers seemed aware her test results were usually a lot lower than her classwork results.

Towards the end of Yr9 it became a lot more obvious, especially for English and Literature. Shes being assessed for extra time now. The teacher said that after that, they will look at measures such as a reading pen for exams.

Shes not the only one... its actually in the schools interest as well to find the pupils that need extra help as it affects their stats if pupils underperform.

I think your post asks a really interesting question about why not a private school even just for your first daughter - I'm against the idea of just sending one child to private school but I do recognise that on paper it does sound like the private school option might be the more supportive environment for your daughter... is there more digging and feedback you can get from the 2 state options that could reassure you that the state schools would also be good (and ultimately these seem to be the ones you can afford?)

In my daughter's experience, she is dyslexic and attends a state secondary school. I think she benefits from being taught in a truly comprehensive environment, where there are children more able and children less able than her and also there are many children with various special educational needs. In our experience the teachers in state schools are well practised and able to teach children of all sorts of abililties and needs. Each teacher knows my daughters needs and gives extra time and adapts lessons as is necessary. Maybe we are just incredibly lucky but this is our experience of state education.

Although her form class is 30 students, the timetabling means that apart from some of the creative or PE classes, all her classes are usually taught in groups of 20ish. You could find out if this is the case at the state schools you are looking at.

Also you said in your OP I think, that you felt she would benefit in a 1 on 1 situation and I don't believe you will get that in a private school unless you pay for it, and I was just making the point that you can create excellent 1 on 1 teaching situations at home to supplement a state education. Really an hour or so of this each week can be incredibly helpful and supportive.

You can fund extracurricular art and an au pair type person to take her there if needed or taxis fares (choose local places she can get to ) for a lot less than 30k a year

3 would be perfect but if you cant do private school for the others than 2. And encourage lots of arty extra curricula.