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didn't want to digress too much - so what do i do with a bright girl who won't do homework?

22 replies

NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 02/06/2008 22:08

interesting reading about all those bright boys who won't work. sounded very much like my DD2 who wont work.
I find it hugely frustrating because i know she could but she won't.
will flick back over now and see f any tips for boys work for her.

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 03/06/2008 15:42

How old is she? What ambition does she have?

NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 03/06/2008 17:57

DD2 is 10 and has no ambition beyond sitting watching the simpsons

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 03/06/2008 21:23

My suggestion is:

Ban Simpsons until hw has been done.

Our dc love Simpsons too, and threat of missing it has very often worked to control their behaviour.

NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 03/06/2008 21:25

but if i ban simpsons then she will have no ambition at all.

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 03/06/2008 21:45

You mean she would rather do nothing than get her hw done in time to watch Simpsons?

NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 03/06/2008 21:51

no she would do nothing at all. really nothing - i've tried it.
am hoping that eventully we will discover something she has an interest in and she will enjoy learning about it. until then i will battle on with a mix of bribery and discipline.

OP posts:
flossiefumble · 03/06/2008 21:53

Message withdrawn

NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 03/06/2008 21:59

no - it is quite possible that she is as thick as two short planks but being her mother i'd rather think that she is just misunderstood.
maybe there really is nothing going on in there. or maybe she is an underachieving G&T. or perhaps she's just inherited my utter laziness and she'll coast along until she is 30 before deciding what to do next.

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 03/06/2008 22:05

She sounds strong willed. I still think banning the Simpsons (great programme though it is) might have some effect in the long run, if you continue with it. Put the news on instead - she might learn something. Fire times-tables qs at her over dinner. Talk about great books you have read (suitable for 10 year olds I mean).
Ask her opinion about something more intellectual than what she wants for Christmas. Find out from teacher what she is doing well (there is probably something) and praise her for it.

We used to take our dc practically kicking and screaming round stately homes, and now they are both in the History club at school (voluntarily!). You can lead a horse to water, and sooner or later it will probably drink.

flossiefumble · 03/06/2008 22:05

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flossiefumble · 03/06/2008 22:09

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NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 03/06/2008 22:12

ho yes i do forcefeed-- do some educational stuff with her. am being incredibly enthusiastic about springwatch at the mo.
she is doing o.k at school and keeping up and she is very very stubborn strong willed.
tis jsut frustrating that as her terribly keen and invoved mother i know she could do more.

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 03/06/2008 22:15

I'm fiercer about room tidying than hw - but my dc are more motivated to do hw. What rewards/sanctions are there at school for doing hw? Is the hw marked regularly? If it's not, that can be a great disincentive. Also is it creative hw or boring and pointless rote learning? I personally feel that learning a list of spellings is a waste of time, although rote learning of times tables is very useful.

Elasticwoman · 03/06/2008 22:16

So she is coasting, rather than underachieving? Needs a bigger challenge, I'd say.

flossiefumble · 03/06/2008 22:16

Message withdrawn

flossiefumble · 03/06/2008 22:18

Message withdrawn

NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 03/06/2008 22:25

see i think that is part of the problem
homework is invaribly a sheet of maths questions. Dull Dull Dull and she says they aren't marked - i haven't seen evidence of marking anyway.
if they get a project to do i can usually get her more interested - by taking a trip out or making a special folder for her work sort of stuff.
hmm competitive? worth a try....

OP posts:
frogs · 03/06/2008 22:33

If that is the school's attitude, then I think you need to either accept it, or take the bull by the horns and set work for her yourself and/or get a tutor. It is infuriating when schools are like this -- we had it with dd1, I always secretly assumed they filed the homework in the classroom bin on receipt. We certainly never saw it again. That's partly why I was so frustrated on the other thread by my ds's weediness over the thoughtful and imaginative homework that his teacher had set and I know will mark thoughtfully and helpfully.

On one level your dd is being very smart by figuring out how to do the bare minimum necessary to keep the teacher off her case -- how many adults do that all the time in the course of their work? But if you're not prepared to accept that then I think you need to decide how it's going to be and lay down the law.

I think use of the computer is always a good motivator though -- particularly for writing, it is hugely encouraging for them to see how professional their work can look when printed out rather than scrawled. But I think I'm only going to let ds use the 'puter for his work when he's shown me a hand-written draft with some evidence of Effort being made.

Elasticwoman · 03/06/2008 22:41

Your dd has a right to get her hw marked and you should point it out if this is not being done. If the situation doesn't then improve, you should take it up with a more senior teacher. Of course your dd is demotivated if work is not marked.

Getting a tutor just because the school isn't doing its job is a cop out. It's like replacing a faulty item at your own expense rather than taking it back to a shop and complaining.

NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 03/06/2008 22:44

thanks - i have food for thought - am off to bed.

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frogs · 03/06/2008 22:45

EW -- of course it is. But sometimes you can get to the point where you know the school are not willing/able to meet your child's needs. There also comes a point in any confrontation with the school when you start getting so far up the headteacher's nose that the whole thing becomes counterproductive. I've been there, done it and got several T-shirts.

At which point you either have to move schools (not always feasible) or you have to do something yourself.

But you are of course right that the school should be marking the homework properly -- just that sometimes they never will no matter how much fuss you make. Or they will for a week or two, and then it's business as usual (or not). I think some schools set homework just because Ofsted say they have to.

Sympathies, though ,it is deeply annoying.

Elasticwoman · 03/06/2008 23:06

I take your point frogs, and am sorry you've been so shortchanged by your school, but the OP isn't at that stage yet, surely?

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