Starting a night course with a 2 month old, is this fair/possible?

[OneJadeSnail]

I'm due to start a hairdressing night course once a week that I signed up for while I was pregnant as I've been hoping to retrain for a few years, dreading the thought of returning to a job that I hate when my maternity ends.
The course was supposed to be taking place in my local college which is about a 25 minute drive away, plus 4 hours for the course, so say roughly 5 hours in total of being away from my daughter. My dilemma now is that the course got cancelled in said college but I've been offered a place in a different branch which is about 1 hour 15 drive each way, plus 4 hours 15 for the course, so the total time away is going to be 6 hours 45 or 7 if there's traffic.. this suddenly feels like a much longer time to be away from my baby and I'm wondering is that fair for a 2 month old? My mum was planning to stay at mine to mind her, plus my partner would get home a few hours after I leave, so she would be well looked after by both.
She has been exclusively breastfed until now but I've built up a stash of milk in the freezer and we've tried her on a bottle a few times with no real issues, I just worry that sometimes she feeds a lot, like every hour or 2, and seeks me out for comfort. Then I'll probably need to think about pumping etc if I'm going to be away for 7 hours..

I just don't know if it's fair on her for me to be away so long when she's so young? But it is only one night a week, and in my area there are no other options to do this course part time, only full time study - which won't be possible even after my maternity, as i have a mortgage to pay - or apprenticeships which I'm too old for.

I'm having such doubts that this course is going to be feasible, but feel like I'll kick myself in a few months time when my daughter is a bit bigger.. I also have the fear that if I wait till next year the course in the closer college ends up getting cancelled again.. Need some advice or opinions to help me decide what to do!

You aren’t just a mum and your future enjoyment of a job and ability to bring in money is fine. Your daughter will have her father and grandmother there with her.

I’d recommend that you speak to those running the course in advance to say you will need somewhere to pump. Good luck with it.

I think considering she’s going to be well cared for by your Mum and partner and it sounds like it’s going to benefit you all as a family in the future you should make the sacrifice and go for it.

Honestly I wouldn't.
It's not just the being away, but that's a lot of driving, presumably quite late at night, when you'll probably be knackered. Don't assume that sleep will get better, often it gets worse, and you maybe a lot more tired than you are now, especially if your you're concentrating on your course.

Maybe I'm just a wimp, but I couldn't imagine being at a course and getting back at probably about midnight, after having 3 hours broken sleep the night before and knowing that's what I'll have when I get home as well.

Depending on the price you could always sign up for it, give it a try and see how difficult it is?

If you do it, it might be better to see if you can stay overnight locally to the course. Whilst this obviously puts more pressure on the family, means you can get a decent night's sleep a night and I'm not driving back while blinking and trying not to crash! And take a bit of a financial hit over that any day.

It sounds difficult and tiring for you, personally I’d wait for another route - if you can afford to live on an apprenticeship I thought they didn’t have upper ages? But if you feel confident and relaxed about your mum looking after the baby, are sure the driving would be safe, could pass with occasional reduced attendance if she’s poorly or teething, and if you have a sense of urgency about doing the training - like if you’re planning another child with a smallish gap, or if it would mean being able to work much more flexibly when you return to full time work, then perhaps worth the exhaustion.

Your daughter will be absolutely fine, so if that’s the only thing stopping you, go for it.

P.S. as PP said you will be knackered, so make sure you look after yourself. Now, go seize that dream.

I had to go back to work to full overnight shifts when my youngest was six weeks old. It was fine.

1st poster nails it. Sounds as if you have fantastic family support, and this will be so great for your future. Please post back and let us know how it goes.