Hating school

[idontknow86]

My only child (one and done) child is 4 and just started reception. I am already hating the school run; no parking, always have to get there 30 mins early to get a space, queueing up and making polite chat to other parents, I am an anxious, impatient, grumpy introvert (a bad combination 😆) and find small talk effing pointless and tend to say what I am thinking/have no filter so people can be taken aback with me. I don’t want my child to be not invited to parties etc but my god; I don’t want to change my entire personality for other “nicey nicey” parents who I would never be friends with if I had a choice. I’m a lurker in the class WhatsApp group (whoever invented this needs to be shot, I only joined it cause I don’t want to miss anything important) and OMG the amount of posts on there already is ridiculous. I can’t be the only one who hates it!

Maybe park further away and you won't have to leave quite so early? It's a big change and you'll find your rhythm in time .

You are not alone there!
There is not much traffic in our area but I still like to arrive early: it's less stressful for us and we can take our time. Some days we just like to stay in the car to chat, listen to a podcast, play. Others we use the extra time for burning off some energies before going to school and we go on a scooter ride/walk. Once a week we treat ourselves to breakfast in a nearby cafe. It makes our morning so much more pleasant.
Also, I need to drop DS off when the gates OPEN, so that I can quickly be back home and start my working day with no delays. Being there earlier makes it much easier. Added bonus: you met far less parents if you are the first in front of the gate. Even less when he occasionally go to breakfast club!

DS is always in extra curricular activities in the afternoon so at pick up I just walk in and out, no waiting time/small talks.

Do you absolutely have to drive to the school? I used to chat to my 4yo in the queue (not avoiding anyone else, she just never stopped talking...)

If you have to drive, why not use the time waiting to do some admin if alone, or reading if with your DC. I’ve had 3 schools with DC and none have ever had a WhatsApp group, mute it or leave, you won’t miss much. After a couple of parties you’ll find a couple of parents to chat to, and your DC will naturally find friends so you’ll end up chatting to those parents too - but no one forces you to, I equally often keep myself to myself

Why don’t you walk? Unless you live an hour away from school, it’s got to be better than driving there half an hour early.

Did you have to choose that school or could you have got one closer so you could have walked and avoid the parking aggro?

Yeh as others say, do you have to drive? Was there no school nearer? How far away is it? If it’s less than (say) 1.5 miles then as a PP says, why not walk and save money and aggro and frankly time? Also you won't annoy the people who happen to live near the school <speaks from experience!>

If you have to be there 30 mins early to get a space maybe park a 5 min walk away – then a) your DC will get some fresh air, exercise and cool down time and b) you won't have to get there so early?

Mine are at different primary schools so I have the joys of a few WhatsApp groups. From experience of complaints about parking they’re either coming from people who insist they need to park right outside the school as they can’t possibly walk more than 5 mins to reach the school gates or from people who could walk. My son is in a city centre school with limited parking so on the days he’s not on the bus I park a 10 min walk away. And walk past the people queuing in their cars to park. It’s one of those human behaviours I don’t understand.
I’m also introverted so talk when I feel like it, don’t when I don’t. But I rarely do a school run as I work full time anyway.

I am so relieved we have a school in walking distance and to then travel to work by train. Parking is something I find stressful, so I'm glad I don't have to do it regularly. We walk in all weathers, even if it rains. Once or twice I have needed to drive, I've parked the car the night before!

If you don't want to talk to people, just go on your phone/stand to one side/arrive first or last. People will naturally fall into groups soon and you'll find less chatting. I really would stay in the (muted) WhatsApp group in case of whole class party invites as well as reminders.