Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

7 year old son has major problems with writing

33 replies

user1471471849 · 21/08/2025 22:49

Hi there,
My son (aged 7) hates writing in school and gets extremely frustrated and exhausted by it. He had major problems in school last year, he couldn't attend for the full day for most of the year, and I think it was mostly to do with how tiring and demanding he was finding the writing. He struggled to keep up and then got stressed coz he felt he'd never catch up and it all seemed overwhelming for him.

I think he has some either physical or cognitive difficulty with writing, even though he can read and spell out loud no problem. Maths is fine too.
He just had a bit of a meltdown thinking of starting back at school in a week and was saying he doesn't want to go back if it's like last year. When I mentioned maybe seeing if he could use a tablet for writing he was instantly relieved at the thoughts of it.
Does anyone have any idea what might work? I'd like to go to the teacher with some ideas (I'm thinking a tablet). We're based in Ireland, happy to buy something ourselves because if this doesn't work I can't see him lasting another year in school. We'd have to home school him.
It'd be great to hear if anyone had a similar experience and what worked for them.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Monvelo · 21/08/2025 22:51

Could he be dyspraxic?

Monvelo · 21/08/2025 22:53

My son struggled with writing at first. Their bones in their hands only fuse together aged 5+ I think so don't discount that he may just need more time to develop. We did things like dough discos (look on YouTube) to help build up some more hand strength. School should be able to give you some advice.

Misstabithabean · 21/08/2025 22:57

The fact he missed some of the school day because he struggled with writing sounds really tough. Is there a SENco at your child's school that you could discuss your concerns with? If you do go down the tech route, there's a children's word processor called Clicker that helps with writing.

Lunde · 21/08/2025 22:58

DD1 had similar problems with writing caused by hypermobility that made it very exhausting and painful to write. She was assessed by an occupational therapist who helped her with hand and writing training

Gagamama2 · 21/08/2025 23:10

My 6 year old is the same, strong at maths and reading but cannot write and has v low resilience / self esteem at school because of it. School have mentioned dyspraxia, adhd and/or autism. There are always a couple of children in each class who use a laptop to write creative writing on - sometimes this is in the form of a string of little symbols/pictures rather than words. Or can just be for typing. I’m expecting him to be placed on one of these next yr as the physical inability to write is now holding back his creative writing and his ability to demonstrate knowledge

Original poster
user1471471849 · 21/08/2025 23:11

Monvelo · 21/08/2025 22:51

Could he be dyspraxic?

I've just looked up the symptoms and he could have that. His balance is fine but he does favour one leg slightly more if that means anything. We have an appointment with a psychologist in a couple of weeks so hopefully they will be able to see if there is markers of different things. Do have experience of dyspraxia?

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471471849 · 21/08/2025 23:13

Misstabithabean · 21/08/2025 22:57

The fact he missed some of the school day because he struggled with writing sounds really tough. Is there a SENco at your child's school that you could discuss your concerns with? If you do go down the tech route, there's a children's word processor called Clicker that helps with writing.

Yes, it was a nightmare. There is a special ed teacher and she just said he hated writing but didn't see any major issue with it. Having done some work over the summer with him and had a teacher friend over to do a few hours with him we bought think is a big issue.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471471849 · 21/08/2025 23:13

Lunde · 21/08/2025 22:58

DD1 had similar problems with writing caused by hypermobility that made it very exhausting and painful to write. She was assessed by an occupational therapist who helped her with hand and writing training

Thanks, I'll look into that too.

OP posts:
Nowdontmakeamess · 21/08/2025 23:15

Get an independent dyslexia / specific learning difficulty assessment. Don’t expect school to pick up on anything or provide the right support, it will only happen if you pay/arrange it unfortunately.

Original poster
user1471471849 · 21/08/2025 23:18

Gagamama2 · 21/08/2025 23:10

My 6 year old is the same, strong at maths and reading but cannot write and has v low resilience / self esteem at school because of it. School have mentioned dyspraxia, adhd and/or autism. There are always a couple of children in each class who use a laptop to write creative writing on - sometimes this is in the form of a string of little symbols/pictures rather than words. Or can just be for typing. I’m expecting him to be placed on one of these next yr as the physical inability to write is now holding back his creative writing and his ability to demonstrate knowledge

Sounds very similar to my son. His self esteem is really being affected too. He's constantly looking for assurance from me that he's good at things now, poor fella. We're going to have him assessed in a couple of weeks for a general assessment to see if there are any markers for ADHD etc. It took us a long time to find the right psychologist who would look at a broad range of things rather than one assessment for autism or something.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471471849 · 21/08/2025 23:21

Nowdontmakeamess · 21/08/2025 23:15

Get an independent dyslexia / specific learning difficulty assessment. Don’t expect school to pick up on anything or provide the right support, it will only happen if you pay/arrange it unfortunately.

Thanks, I've been trying to get outside support for 2 years now. Even on private lists it's really hard. I think we're getting somewhere now and have an appointment in two weeks with a psychologist so hopefully they can point us in the right direction.

OP posts:
SingingWaffleDoggy · 21/08/2025 23:22

Is it just handwriting? What about other fine motor skills like using cutlery, tying shoelaces and doing up buttons?
The school can refer on for an OT assessment and if they won’t you could try the school nurse. There might not be one at the school but there will be one that’s linked to the school

Littleredracecar · 21/08/2025 23:22

I have a 6 year old son who still struggles to hold a pencil. We have tried many different pencil grips/ specialised pencils with varying success. The Stabilo easy pen has had the most success as it’s seems to be smoother than a pencil. A slanted writing board can also be helpful.
In my sons case it seems to be a sensory problem in part as he holds it too tightly, sometimes so tightly it shakes and also has badly bitten nails which probably also makes it uncomfortable. We are doing a OT sensory program at the moment and it does seem to be helping a bit with this.
I think it would be a reasonable adjustment for him to use a laptop and if you could teach him touch typing then even better.

Original poster
user1471471849 · 21/08/2025 23:25

SingingWaffleDoggy · 21/08/2025 23:22

Is it just handwriting? What about other fine motor skills like using cutlery, tying shoelaces and doing up buttons?
The school can refer on for an OT assessment and if they won’t you could try the school nurse. There might not be one at the school but there will be one that’s linked to the school

It's most noticeable in hand writing but he panics a bit if he has to use a scissors or do any drawing. I've had to kinda force him to do things to build his confidence as he can do them but is really nervous. Actually, even when he was 2 he wouldn't build bricks in a tower or even touch them. Some major aversion to them. But he does build things and make lego sets now no problem. Can't tie his shoelaces yet and does use cutlery, though just the fork, doesn't like cutting up his food.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471471849 · 21/08/2025 23:27

Littleredracecar · 21/08/2025 23:22

I have a 6 year old son who still struggles to hold a pencil. We have tried many different pencil grips/ specialised pencils with varying success. The Stabilo easy pen has had the most success as it’s seems to be smoother than a pencil. A slanted writing board can also be helpful.
In my sons case it seems to be a sensory problem in part as he holds it too tightly, sometimes so tightly it shakes and also has badly bitten nails which probably also makes it uncomfortable. We are doing a OT sensory program at the moment and it does seem to be helping a bit with this.
I think it would be a reasonable adjustment for him to use a laptop and if you could teach him touch typing then even better.

Thanks, I think I should find an OT to help too.

OP posts:
SingingWaffleDoggy · 21/08/2025 23:31

My DD is seeing an OT for borderline DCD (dyspraxia) and it sounds as though he might be struggling with some of the things they were looking for.
Definitely push for a referral from school. Write a strongly worded email with some reference to him being disadvantaged as his needs aren’t being recognised and therefore is not able to thrive and reach his potential. Hopefully they’ll get on board

24Dogcuddler · 21/08/2025 23:44

Speak to the senco. There are lots of ways to reduce the need to write especially in foundation subjects. There are alternative ways to record e.g. photographs, mind maps etc.
IT should be used where possible when handwriting isn’t the focus. In addition to Clicker/ Clicker Sentences Dragon software is good as it types what the child says.
For improving formation Writing Wizard is a great interactive app that can be used with his finger or a stylus.
They can pre populate and cut down on writing to support e.g. write sums out or provide a worksheet so he just writes the answers in.
Multisensory approaches would also be beneficial writing with a range of implements, water and paint brush outside, chalks on pavement, squeezy bottle and water to write, using playdough to roll and form letters.
On a practical level a wristband and sloping desk might help and a grip or triangular pencil.

Sausagescanfly · 21/08/2025 23:52

Have a look at dysgraphia. My DD was diagnosed at 6. It doesn't seem to be a physical thing as she can draw fine.

We persevered with handwriting until the end of year 3 (8) as you do need to be able to write, particularly for maths and science. Now she does most of her work on an iPad with a keyboard attached or a laptop.

Her handwriting has improved since she moved to a school that doesn't mind that her writing isn't cursive.

She also has inattentive ADHD (diagnosed at 8). I'm sure that the two are completely related. Handwriting involves serious multitasking, particularly when you are starting out. Thinking about what you want to write, shaping letters and spelling is a lot to do in one go.

Original poster
user1471471849 · 22/08/2025 00:03

Sausagescanfly · 21/08/2025 23:52

Have a look at dysgraphia. My DD was diagnosed at 6. It doesn't seem to be a physical thing as she can draw fine.

We persevered with handwriting until the end of year 3 (8) as you do need to be able to write, particularly for maths and science. Now she does most of her work on an iPad with a keyboard attached or a laptop.

Her handwriting has improved since she moved to a school that doesn't mind that her writing isn't cursive.

She also has inattentive ADHD (diagnosed at 8). I'm sure that the two are completely related. Handwriting involves serious multitasking, particularly when you are starting out. Thinking about what you want to write, shaping letters and spelling is a lot to do in one go.

Thanks, does your daughter manage ok in school? Is she in a mainstream school? I do think my son might also have ADHD as he needs regular breaks outside and finds it hard to focus on things he's not that interested in. Almost impossible in fact.

OP posts:
Infamousnow · 22/08/2025 00:21

It does sound like he has issues that are hindering him, hopefully the psychologist will be able to help. Just to mention that UrAbility are an Irish company that can help with the assistive technology side of things. They have courses for parents etc.so might be of some help but they do charge.

Sausagescanfly · 22/08/2025 00:31

user1471471849 · 22/08/2025 00:03

Thanks, does your daughter manage ok in school? Is she in a mainstream school? I do think my son might also have ADHD as he needs regular breaks outside and finds it hard to focus on things he's not that interested in. Almost impossible in fact.

Show quote history

My DD moved to a private prep for year 5. She's better suited to a smaller class. In her old school she was able to coast because she's bright and there were always children with more challenges than she has, who needed more teacher input. In a small class with fewer children with significant additional needs, she gets a bit more attention. Her school report is full of comments like "when focused..." and getting her homework done is incredibly painful. I've no idea how she will cope at secondary school.

Original poster
user1471471849 · 22/08/2025 20:53

That sounds a lot like my son. He has no problem focusing for hours on end if he's interested in the topic. It's a tough road. Getting his homework done is like pulling teeth.

OP posts:
Sausagescanfly · 23/08/2025 00:55

user1471471849 · 22/08/2025 20:53

That sounds a lot like my son. He has no problem focusing for hours on end if he's interested in the topic. It's a tough road. Getting his homework done is like pulling teeth.

Yes, my DD can hyperfocus when she's interested or motivated. She's done some coding challenges at school, which looked like a lot to do in the time limit. Her teacher said she'd do well and might be able to finish them if he could keep her on task. She absolutely flew through them and finished with loads of time to spare because she was so completely focused.

It's also worth mentioning that her written work, when using a computer is like that of a completely different child. Handwritten work is absolutely bare minimum in content. Typed work is full of the grammar stuff they've learnt, has rich vocabulary. She struggles to punctuate as she writes - again a multitasking issue. But she goes back through and correctly punctuates. That is much neater than going back through to correct handwritten work.

Original poster
user1471471849 · 23/08/2025 10:41

Sausagescanfly · 23/08/2025 00:55

Yes, my DD can hyperfocus when she's interested or motivated. She's done some coding challenges at school, which looked like a lot to do in the time limit. Her teacher said she'd do well and might be able to finish them if he could keep her on task. She absolutely flew through them and finished with loads of time to spare because she was so completely focused.

It's also worth mentioning that her written work, when using a computer is like that of a completely different child. Handwritten work is absolutely bare minimum in content. Typed work is full of the grammar stuff they've learnt, has rich vocabulary. She struggles to punctuate as she writes - again a multitasking issue. But she goes back through and correctly punctuates. That is much neater than going back through to correct handwritten work.

Show quote history

That's great. Does she use a computer in school now? What type does she use? Will she be allowed do exams with a computer?

OP posts:
Hightideattheseaside · 23/08/2025 10:48

Sounds exactly like my 7 year old and he’s just been diagnosed as dyslexic and strongly suspect ADHD. Also good at maths and spatial puzzles and can concentrate when he’s enjoying something. Otherwise struggles. Also had a tough year last year and refused to do any school work and having very angry outbursts. Makes much more sense now. Ed Psych told me he may benefit from screen readers and laptop for speech to text as he gets older but to not give up with writing. Just lower expectations.