Year 7 homework/prep - how much help do you offer?

[Mytetherisbackthere]

Hi all.
My year 7 (11yo) DD has what seems like quite a large amount of prep, although by other countries standards it probably isn’t unsurmountable.

It works out as at least half an hour per subject per week, probably averaging 6 hours a week, more during end of year assessments.

Despite being a ‘no phone’ school, all the prep is set on an app. It often involves printing out worksheets at school ahead of time and then completing them in pen and paper. They don’t ordinarily bring their books home. It involves a level of organisation which to be frank my daughter doesn’t yet have.

DD did exceptionally well at primary school but seems so unconscientious about her work this year that I’m a bit concerned. Absolutely minimal effort and she will do the minimum she can get away with rather than working to her potential. If she sits down to complete a task she loses focus almost instantaneously and will just draw on her hands.
She will claim she can’t do something but if I sit with her and work through it it’s clear that she can do it, she just can’t be bothered. 😕

I’m really struggling to find a balance of how much to assist with organisation, focus and actual tasks because I feel like she’s starting to fall behind, but I don’t want to mollycoddle her as she needs to work this out for herself too? She’s completely unbothered by low grades. Claims she hates all her teachers and everything they ever do is boring. Having seen some of what they’re up to paired with the exceptionally good school I think she’s incredibly lucky and doesn’t realise how lucky she is! She is happy to go to school everyday and has nice friends.

It is becoming an unwanted battleground and she is also very hormonal (periods have started, teenage mood swings) which isn’t helping rational conversations about school work.

Please help me- Do you schedule routine homework time for your year 7 child? Check the quality? How do you help your child develop motivation in their teen years? I don’t know what to do!

I never helped with any of my kids homework - I made it clear it was their work so their responsibility and they had to deal with any consequences from not doing it. I told them if they had any issues or needed extra guidance to speak to school.

The two that have finished school passed all their GCSEs and the one in Y10 is doing fine and they have grown up to be wonderful, independent driven and conscientious young people.

I'm not saying that this approach for every child but I try the same with my Explorer Scouts and they always grow so much before they leave us at age 18.

Do you have a printer at home ? If that’s not allowed then she needs to see when her friends make time to print things out and copy that routine. Eg after school, lunchtime…

Mine were expected to crack on with homework after dinner. They had a drink, snack and chilled out after school until dinner.

Just leave her to it. She will learn soon enough. When dd started secondary at a very academic school it was sink or swim. They want the girls independent and from day one she was on her own for schoolwork. Of course, it took some getting used to and she got some detentions the first year for forgetting homework, a book or folder. But she learned to be independent, and I am not involved in her schoolwork at all. DS starts secondary school, and I assume his school will have similar expectations. It should be like that really. When I was growing up my parents were not involved in my schoolwork at all. I pretty much was on my own doing it from the start.

The only time my parents intervened in my homework was when for a short time I was spending far too long on one subject I was finding hard. My dad spoke to my form tutor and she sat me down for a one to one to establish a realistic way to catch up. She also told me to spend no more than half an hour at a time on that subject and if work not completed to tell the teacher I had tried my best. Kids need to learn to be independent. My school was quite strict and there were lunchtime detentions but there was also acceptance that we are all human so sometimes it didn't feel like a punishment, rather one to one tutoring. Let your kid get herself sorted.

I didn't do anything related to the actual tasks, but I used to ask if there was anything due the next day and if she had done it when she got home from school. Printing out worksheets ahead of time does sound like a lot to be organising for a twelve year old. Can she print them at home?

My DD was a bit all over the place at this age. I had to help a lot with organisation. By Year 9 she was fine and very independent. If your child is going through a bit of a slump I would definitely help her out. I certainly wouldn’t put all my trust in the education system, but that may be because I’m a teacher and know what it can be like.

My DD is Dyslexic and awaiting diagnosis for Adhd/ASD.

I seem to do a lot of homework, she hates the font on the Maths programme they have to use so i end up reading and scribing. I have taught her how to dictate into word and then she uses editor and then gets the computer to read it back to her. They set a lot of timed quizzes which she knows the answer but cant read and process the question, so i have to read them for her.

We never get worksheets or books to work from. She hates not being perfect/ doing well which leads to a meltdown.

She has got much better as the year has gone on but it is still a struggle every weekend.

My DS is in state grammar school year 7 and has a lot of homework . He’s autistic and demand avoidant and doesn’t yet take complete responsibility for homework planning. Each evening at dinner we’ll check his homework app together and he picks a time to do it. I or DH will ‘body double’ with him which means sitting alongside him while he does it - an hour or so each night. We usually do some work catch up or similar.

If he refuses to do it which happens sometimes, we step right back (don’t try to force him) and let him accept the natural consequences - detention/behaviour points etc and he’s learning how much he does not like that as we are coming to the end of the year, so there’s been some improvement

If she was conscientious at primary and can’t be bothered now the. (As secondary and form tutor) somethings gone wrong this year.

is she finding it too hard? Perfectionist deciding she won’t do it at all rather than fail? Got some friends who aren’t into working? Mobile at home? Feels rubbish about the way it is now and not sure how to change it?

I would teach her how to organise herself instead of ‘letting her find out for herself’. organisation is a skill that needs teaching. She can adapt strategies once she knows the basics
Not micro managing b it get her a diary/planner, teach her how to use it and do a twice weekly check in with her so she knows how to do the organisation.

that said the organisation is really daft. School shouldn’t be assuming they can all print worksheets; are you sure there’s no electronic way to do it? Or complete electronically and then print when finished?

id also contact the tutor - they don’t know what she was like in primary and won’t have seen a shift. They might be able to offer practical support eg also checking in that she’s got what she needs for homework etc

I helped with organisation. My kids both had quite busy out of school lives, so I made a chart with what homework needed to be done by when and their out of school commitments and helped them plan. I also made it clear that I was available to help and when.

I don’t agree with the Mumsnet “chuck ‘em in at the deep end and let them sink or swim” attitude. I wouldn’t do that with a new staff member-why would I do that with an 11 year old negotiating an entirely new world?

I helped with their organisation too and helped with managing their time. I carried on checking in and helping with time management up until GCSEs.
In year 7, I did check homework initially and would make them redo it if I thought it was a lame effort. Basically setting the expectations of putting some effort in.

No “sink or swim” here - if they need help, I offer it.

DD with dyslexia and ADHD is now 17 (Y12) and needed help with organisation all the way through to GCSEs. In fact, especially during GCSEs. In sixth form she has become very self-sufficient with only 3 subjects to manage, which is great.

DS (Y8) has been self-sufficient with homework since about Y5. I make him do a bit more maths practice than he might want (e.g. over the long summer holidays, so that skills aren’t lost) and encourage reading, but otherwise he just gets on with it and does very well.