Teacher Issue

[Petal12]

Year 10 child - not a massive fan of one of her PE teachers but we have always explained you can’t get on with everyone, you’ve got to rub along and just get your head down/work done. Except I keep getting feedback that she’s picking on my kid! This feed back is coming from other mums whose daughters have witnessed these incidents and told them. Some are my daughter’s friends, others not. I have two issues really and I don’t want to confuse them or it be a witch-hunt against the teacher. Hoping for some advice on how to proceed professionally and calmly or even if at all?

Issue 1 - teacher is not really teaching, her class compared to the other class doing the same subject but with a different teacher, results are significantly and obviously poorer. Other class students seem to have better understanding of the subject and are engaged. I am aware older year groups have complained about this teacher and also aware some from daughter’s class have made complaints this year. Moving to the other class is not an option due to timetable restrictions within gcse topics/classes. I wanted to complain before but held back and put the onus on my daughter to do her own research and learn the subject, ask for feedback etc as well and reviewing her best friend’s work who is the other class.

Issue 2 - I received a random phone call from my daughter’s hoy last week to say this teacher had reported my daughter for making a racist face/gesture - she told me that racism is not tolerated (quite rightly), this was extremely serious and SLT were involved. There would be an investigation and my daughter’s future was in jeopardy. My daughter was home at the time so I immediately put her on the phone to openly discuss. Long story short, my daughter had her back to the teacher and turned round to her friend, who stuck her tongue out. My daughter retaliated by sticking her tongue out and also sticking her thumbs in her ears and wiggling her fingers. The teacher then announced to the whole class that that was racist behaviour, my daughter will be investigated by SLT, punished and not just by a detention. Fast forward and lots of witnesses (all supportive of my daughter that her and her friend were pulling silly faces) later as well as the teacher confirming that yes my daughter’s back was to her - the whole thing has culminated in a three liner email to me that no further action is required, my daughter did nothing wrong and the hoy will have a chat with her to just remind her that silly, childish behaviour is not expected at this age etc etc.

My daughter has been in bits since Friday when the hoy called worrying that she’s been labelled a racist and everyone will hate her.

I feel like this has been just swept away - I feel like my daughter should be apologised to.

Secondary to the above, I received a message from a mum of a class mate today confirming the incident happened as described by my daughter but also to say that her daughter felt this teacher constantly picks at my daughter for even the smallest things, yet does not do the same to others.

I’m not a parent who thinks their kid is an angel and I always err on the side of supporting the school even when I may think it unjust and just use it an example of life’s not fair all the time, get on with it type attitude.

sorry it’s so long, I’m trying to be methodical and balanced. As I say I’m not out for the teacher at all, I just want my daughter to be happy and receive good teaching in what is one of her favourite subjects. I’m happy to deal with the matter informally and without getting shitty about it - I’m a reasonable person I think. Can anyone offer any insight or advice? My gut is not resting easy just sweeping it all under the carpet.

Thanks

Half of this is gossip. How can you possibly know what goes on in other classes?
Your daughter was messing around and you think she’s due an apology somehow?
This is why I hate parent WhatsApp groups.

Sorry she's 15, and pulling silly faces like that in class?...
I really do not want to be part of any class whatsapp whinge/witchhunt groups when dc hit that age!!

It’s the other class is engaged comment for me. How do you know!!! Ridiculous.

Just keep encouraging her to run along as politely as possible. I think the first few comments are a bit harsh - I’d just keep a close eye and encourage your child to do her best. She doesn’t deserve an apology - she behaved badly and now feels bad - rightly so. She won’t do it again! She could have some extra tutoring if you can afford it and feel this teacher isn’t great. Stay calm and polite and just move on is my 50ps worth.

Mmm ok slightly taken aback by the abrasiveness - thought I was quite balanced tbf!

I didn’t mention a class WhatsApp group and wouldn’t join one of there was. I’ve received messages from fellow mums unsolicited and independently, the remainder of the witness evidence has come from the school.

The disparity between the two classes is evidenced by the results and working at greater depth knowledge, pre dates the silly face behaviour incident and has been a concern since just before Xmas. I’m not saying behaviour isn’t any better or worse.

I quite specifically said I wasn’t after a witch-hunt but I feel confused how someone can accuse someone else of something so serious without merit and there be no repercussions. Yes my daughter was being an idiot but I don’t believe that warrants being called out to your peers (mistakenly) as racist.

Thank you @babyproblems for your constructive advice - this is my usual go to response to most things and I am sometimes said to underreact which causes problems of its own.

Issue 1:
some teachers are better than others. Some teachers specialise in particular courses or aspects or have specific knowledge of special needs and so on. It’s normal for different groups of students to get different results.

unless you have specific complaints - she’s not setting homework which should be set, she’s missed out topics or whatever then that is just the way it is. Most schools will put their most experienced teachers on exam groups so I would expect a year 10 (and presumably gcse?) group to have a more experienced teacher.

issue 2:
I’m confused as to why this was considered racist.

How on earth do you have access to results of other classes?

Yes I am also wondering how you know the results of the other class in detail.

I had three DC go through secondary and could not tell you what grades DC in other classes were achieving. DS2 had a not-great physics teacher in KS4 but it never crossed my mind to ask how the other physics class were doing.

Is this PE GCSE? I would focus on what your DD is learning and what she needs to do to improve rather than the other class being better taught, as that line of thought is never helpful. Ask the teacher (do you have P eve soon?) or the HoD, buy revision guides, do some work outside the class as it's an important subject for your DD. Support her in a positive way and I am sure things will improve.

Since the HoY is already involved, you could ask for a meeting to discuss how your daughter can get on better terms with the teacher. It’s in everyone’s interests for there to be a positive relationship.

Aside from that, I’m sure you’ve spoken about silly behaviour in class and the need to focus.

Your daughter is behaving like a 5 year old and you think it's ok?

Wonder what the teacher’s version of events might be. If my teens are anything to go by it’s usually a very skewed interpretation of what went on. In their favour 😂

Perhaps this should be titled ‘Parenting Issue’

If your DD and her friends are mucking about in lessons that might explain their disappointing grades.

i would be wanting a chat with the hoy to understand why a stupid face-pulling thing was considered racist by the teacher, just to get understanding and clarity.
And then I'd be very clear with my daughter that childish behaviour has to stop.

Ask your daughter if the teacher picks on her. Ask her to keep a diary and look it over with her. Then decide if you think you want to take this up with the school.

Sounds like your daughter has been misbehaving and you don’t know the full story

This thread is almost a year old. I am hoping the OP’s DD (now rapidly approaching GCSE exams) has got the issue sorted :)

This seems the sensible approach to me.

@Petal12 I think you have had some harsh responses. There is a difference between a child being told off/punished for messing around/being silly, to being investigated for racism.

If they are going to give out punishment for messing around, then bith dd and her friend should be treated the same.

If other children were made aware your dd was being investigated for racism, the school should make it clear to those children that the accusation has been investigated and proved incorrect.

The fact that others have supported your child's version of events, and raised concern with parents about the way your dd is being treated indicates that she isn't being treated fairly.

I also don't think it that unusual to know that the other class have covered things differently/got different results.

Friends talk with each other, and may have been discussing what they were doing, what their results were etc. I know the test results of some of DCs friends. If results are being talked about, when I am with them, I naturally asked how they have done as part of polite conversation.

Can your daughter make a list of things that havehappened, do that you can make a a list of concern?

Can you arrange a meeting with head of year to discuss your concerns? If so may be worth emailing the list first so they know what is being discussed. Alternative, after the meeting email and confirm what was discussed/agreed, do you have a paper trail.

The OP was May 2025, I don’t suppose all this new advice is helpful!