Commute lenght to secondary school

[HeliaDuran]

I have a child who is moving to secondary school in two years.

Is 1 hour 20 mins too much? There are other two schools where the commute is 1 hour 5 mins and the other one is 45-50 minutes.
The shortest commute is the school we like the least. The 1hour and 5 is superselective, and the other one just seems a bit much for a pre-teen?

Don't know what to do. It would be helpful to get some other parents perspectives on tiredness, friendships, homework, commuting in winter.
Many thanks in advance

I think you need to consider the quality of the commute not just the time. We live rurally and my DC's secondary school was over 20 miles away, but fortunately we were the penultimate stop on their bus route so it only took 35 mins or so. But lots of their friends were on the bus far longer. However it was a dedicated school bus so very easy - no changes or anything. Most of the kids did homework on the bus on the way home so it was fairly productive time. I would think it would be a lot more tiring to be using public transport, especially if changes are involved, plus the journey time can't really be used for anything else if it's broken up by changes.
As others have said I think it makes a big difference if others are doing it. At my DC's school a very high percentage of the pupils travel like this, and everyone in our village is in the same boat so they just accept it as the norm, and there's really no impact on friendships etc. I think that's very different to being the odd one out who travels alone, can't meet up after school and so on. And of course the alternative options matter too.
The time is indeed one thing you need to consider but it's only part of the whole picture. What is "worth" the journey will vary from person to person. I used to take my DS nearly 150 miles for his hobby after school on Monday nights. If I had posted on here and asked if it was a good idea to do a 300 mile round trip on a school night for a hobby I'm sure most people would have said I was insane to even consider it. But for us, in our location and circumstances it was worth it and he got a huge amount out of it. You need to think through all the pros and cons very carefully. Do you know anyone local who is at the same school that can give you some insight into what it's like for their family?

Thank you everyone for so many experiences. I am just so confused and keep going from " this is absolutely crazy" to "actually, this is the option that would make her happy".

@MrsAvocet I admire your dedication to your sons activity. I've been told I'm slightly mad taking our DD a mere 25 miles!

Just as @TheNightingalesStarling and @MrsAvocet were pointing out, it is lovely to see how all parents here do strive to do what's best for their kids - either being by supporting their daughter to go to a London school when living in Surrey, 300 miles round trips for a child's hobby or deciding that what their child needs is to go to a school which is close to them and local.

I hadn’t really thought about the quality of the commute. My child enjoys quiet somewhat solitary activities like reading, watching films etc. So she could potentially do that during the train commute to begin with - rather than start the commute doing something productive like homework.

Also, thank you so much @OhCrumbsWhereNow Your experience is very encouraging. I particularly feel the "It is more complicated in the thinking than in the practice" encapsulates perfectly how I feel! Thank you!

So she's got 3 options.

School 1- 45 mins, not very good.

School 2- 20 minutes more but selective so might not get in

School 3- another 15 minutes but a great school and the one she'd rather go to.

Is that a fair summary?

In that case you're really choosing between School 2 and 3. 1 is not really an option. So an extra 15 minutes to get to the school she likes best. Seems like the most logical choice.

I think it is doable when they are younger, albeit after school matches and extra curriculars may make it more tricky in terms of school buses. However, it gets harder as they get further up the school and as the workload increases - all three of my boys were/are at superselectives and the homework levels would have made 3 hours commuting a day, unworkable (for them).