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Illness and poor behaviour?

8 replies

Ruslara · 20/05/2008 09:42

Does anyone know of a link between illness and a change in behaviour? My Year 1 DS is currently being investigated for abdominal pain, (blood tests, scans)although he is not acutely unwell, ie he is well enough to go to school. However, at around the same time that his pain started, his behaviour at school has taken a nose dive. He's normally a good boy, keen to please etc, but has had a few temper tantrums and stubborn episodes. This is at school only, behaviour at home is fine. Could his ill-health be causing his poor behaviour or am I just a deluded mum looking for an excuse for him??

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 20/05/2008 09:43

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gagarin · 20/05/2008 09:46

It could be the other way round?

The behaviour at school suggests stress of some kind. The tummy pain of unknown origin could alos be related to school anxieties.

I would try a gentle chat about "someone you know" whose little boy doesn't like school much at the moment and ask him if he could think of anything that might make a "little boy like that" (ie not him ) like school?

But go ahead with all the physical tests too.

Hope it gets sorted.

gagarin · 20/05/2008 09:47

Sigh...I meant NOT like school...sorry

Ruslara · 20/05/2008 09:50

Yes, I have been wondering if it might be the other way around too. There has been a lot of disruption in his class this term with his class teacher away on a lot of courses, so he often doesn't know from one day to the next who he's going to have, and I wondered if this was affecting him. He denies any worries when asked, but his behaviour seems to suggest otherwise!

OP posts:
NaughtyNigella · 20/05/2008 10:00

Ruslara. bare with me - my tale is long and tedious.

last september my DD (10) had a tummy bug. since then she has had nausea and tummy pain constantly.

around the same time she was bullied by a nasty piece of work at school - this has taken a long time to sort out but eventually said bully left the school but DD still suffers from this nausea and pain.

She has had numerous blood tests - all negative. seen numerous doctors who think she has gastritis (a wooly term for indegestion) she has been taking medication for a few months now with no change at all. They are following her up again in July.

her behaviour has been shocking, both at home and at school. she went through a few months where i had to drag her in to school kicking and screaming. she will go in now but gets into trouble alot for talking, not listening, not doing as she is told etc.she argues with friends. she won't work properly, won't read and if she does homework it is rare.
She has huge enormous tantrums and gets physically violent and throws things around.

Although on the other hand she can be sweet and nice and cuddly. she is bright but gets bored easily. And yes - I do work very hard to stop the behaviour and to get her to work.

reading all that you could say i too am a deluded mum and 'if that was my child i would make her behave/do her homework' etc but i guess you have to be there and know her to actually see what i'm getting at.

my point is, i suppose, that unlike what i did - don't let it drag on and on and wait to see if he'll grow out of it. arrange to see his teacher and/or the head teacher. try to find out if there are problems at school, whether with work being too easy or difficult, or it is a friendship/bullying thing. Or ask his friends parents if his friends have said anything about what is going on at school.

Ruslara · 20/05/2008 10:37

Thanks NaughtyNigella. I have asked this morning for an appt to talk to his teacher. I will do exactly as you say and try to get it resolved sooner rather than later.

OP posts:
gagarin · 20/05/2008 11:18

Ruslara - direct questions prob won't work. Be devious and think of a sly way to ask him to suggest why someone else might feel unsettled with so many changes of teacher/not knowing who's going to be in the class etc. He might open up to subtlety.

But he also might have a stomach problem!

cory · 20/05/2008 18:42

Two possible scenarios:

stress at school is bringing on psychosomatic symptoms. Not at all unusual, and if this is happening you'll need to remember it still hurts.

he has something wrong and the combined stress of pain and not being believed/not knowing what is wrong is making him bad-tempered.

My dd was incredibly angry (though thankfully never at school) before her joint disorder was diagnosed.

There can also be a combination of the two- a friend of dd's had salmonella which then brought on psychosomatic symptoms which persisted long after she had recovered from the initial illness.

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