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Very stressed about her upcoming A level exams

8 replies

myfarmilyandotheranimals · 11/05/2025 10:15

Any advice on little things you could do to stay and bring down the stress of a very emotional 17 yo daughter just about to sit A levels.
She’s working so hard and is desperate to get her place at her preferred uni.
She suffers from bouts of debilitating stress and getting some beta blockers has been suggested.
Any other tips or pieces of advice please however small!
Thank you

OP posts:
LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 11/05/2025 11:23

Try take her out for short walks, or if she can take an afternoon off take her somewhere where she can fun and relax.
encourage her to sit and eat meals properly.

MonGrainDeSel · 11/05/2025 18:53

Breaks are really important. Nobody can concentrate for hours at a time. Can you help her set up a timetable which includes things like walks or time for an episode of a TV show (or whatever floats her boat and will relax her, mine is having an episode of How I Met Your Mother quite often) as well as meals and snack breaks. Feeling like she is sticking to the plan and achieving what she has set out to do will make her feel better than just grinding on not sure when to stop.

Also, I think sometimes when you are sitting in a room working with your brain, it's easy to get mentally tired but not physically tired. Walking or swimming or going for a bike ride or whatever physical activity she likes will help her actually get a good night's sleep. And I would recommend an early bedtime and as much sleep as she actually needs rather than as little as she can get away with. DD is aiming for 9 hours a night and knows that approaching all this well-rested will help her almost as much as the actual revision.

Also, not working at home can help. DD is planning to go into school over study leave as they have a quiet room she can work in, but she also does days at the local library or sometimes in a coffee shop with a friend. This helps her set a boundary between work time and home time. And home time is all downtime. And working with a friend can help. They can test each other and also keep each other on track until it's time for a break. For instance DD and friend will agree to do X amount of work and then stop for a coffee/chat.

DD can be very anxious at times so I know how difficult this is but these are all things that have helped her in the past. She's planning to do all of these this time too (also doing A Levels this year).

clary · 11/05/2025 20:49

Some great ideas from @MonGrainDeSel which I would endorse.

One other thing that I think works well is body doubling, essentially having someone else working in the same room at the same time as you – not necessarily doing the same task, so for example a sibling doing their HW, or a parent doing some life admin, while the student revises. It helps bring calm and focus. I know it has worked well with me and DD when she was accessing her uni course remotely during Covid (and I was wfh).

MonGrainDeSel · 11/05/2025 22:16

Yes, agree with that! When DD works with friends in the library, often they are not studying the same thing or even doing the same subjects at all, just sort of keeping each other on track and it's nice to feel someone is with you and doing what you are doing.

Thank you, @clary, for endorsing our plans/methods! After GCSEs we felt like we had worked out what worked for DD, but always good to have a thumbs up from a professional - I know you are a teacher.

myfarmilyandotheranimals · 12/05/2025 07:11

Thank you so much!

OP posts:
Bonsaibaby · 12/05/2025 07:16

All the above!
Also my dd now at uni often gets a block where she feels she simply can’t do it. She has her places she can study more and her relaxing places etc but still gets blocks. I’ve stopped trying to give solutions to them, like have a break etc, I just listen and sympathise. Sometimes she just has to get that out.

tripleginandtonic · 12/05/2025 07:27

Tell her she's put in the work, she'll be fine

ObstreperousCushion · 12/05/2025 07:41

Depends on your dd, but mine finds it soothing to have her hair brushed or her back rubbed while we watch TV. I can actually see her relax.

Working in the same room as someone else also seems to help, quite often she’ll be at the kitchen table while I cook (though it does mean I can’t have podcasts on).

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