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Original poster

School trips

17 replies

suzy21 · 19/05/2008 13:03

Hi My daughter is in year 6 and is due to go to Manor Adventure for a week (Monday to Friday) she is really worried about going and is saying that she won't go now. I am not sure what to do. I have spoken to her to reassure her that she will enjoy it once she is there but she cries everyday because she is dreading it. Should I just let her decide not to go? Does anyone have any advice to offer?

OP posts:
avenanap · 19/05/2008 13:05

I would have a chat to her teacher, maybe she could arrange for your dd to phone you before she goes to bed.

katebee · 19/05/2008 15:27

How far is this from home? Maybe you could say that if she isn't enjoying it after the first 24 hrs you will go and pick her up. My children are much younger but often worry about things before they do them and then find they enjoy them after all. It would be a pity for her to miss the trip entirely. Do you know why she is so worried..is there anyone she doesn't get on with or is it because it is the first time she has been away?

AbbeyA · 19/05/2008 17:09

Has she got good friends going?
Is it because she doesn't want to go away from home or has she got problems at school?
If it is just the homesickness bit I would have a word with the teacher to see how you can make it easier.It would be a pity to miss it.

Peapodlovescuddles · 19/05/2008 17:21

I went to manor adventure with DS's school but not his year (THEY DIDN'T WANT PARENTS) IYGWIM about 5 years ago, I really urge you to send her, she might be a bit upset for a few hours on the first day/a bit sniffly the first night but she'll feel so grown-up, able and proud if she stays the distance.
She will have fun, believe me they don't have time not to!

pelvicflawed · 19/05/2008 17:39

No advice - but as a child I can clearly remember getting in such a state (crying/vomiting etc) about going on trips/Guide camp etc - it was all to do with the fear of the unkown and would I be able to cope. I always ended up going and I have to admit that for the first 1/2 day or so I was miserable - but each time as soon as I got into it I loved it- normally by the end of the week I never wanted to leave. 25+ years later some of my fondest later childhood memories are of these trips. If a sympathetic teacher/helper could keep an eye on her in a firm/cheerful sort of way and perhaps make sure hse is kept very 'busy' especially for the first day or so it might help so she dosen't have too much time to think- she will almost certainly enjoy it but its anticipation/fear before the trip that is the worst - my sympathies to her.

Original poster
suzy21 · 23/05/2008 19:28

Thank you all so much for your advice! I have been to see her head teacher who is also going on the trip and she advised me to tell my daughter that not going was not an option and that we had to look at how we could make it easier for her. She has made sure that she has put her in a room with her best friend and says that she will keep an eye on her. Her class teacher also had a word with her. My daughter although still not altogether happy about going is more positive about it all now. Her problem is that she says she will miss us all too much. Her head teacher says she will phone me on the first evening to let me know how she is getting on. She is going after half term so we have made sure that she will be kept busy during half term and does not have too much time to dwell on it. I will let you all know how she gets on when she's back. Thanks again!

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christywhisty · 23/05/2008 19:48

My Dd 10 came home tonight from 5 days away with PGL. She has had a wonderful time. All the girls cried at some time but they all looked so happy and confident when they got off the coach tonight, it was well worth it.

roisin · 24/05/2008 11:10

That's great christywhisty
I take yr7s away on a residential to Germany, and they all always have a fantastic time. Students in yr11 still talk about their experiences on residential trips: they are very important times.

My tips for parents would be:

Nervousness is normal - be understanding and reassuring, but also firm and clear that they are going. If the child is feeling unsure and gets uncertainty from you as well instead of decisiveness and clarity, they will be left feeling even more worried.

If your school allows contact, then do not phone your child late at night on the first day when they are tired and exhausted and likely to be emotional and homesick!

Follow school guidance on items to bring, and in particular pocket money. Excess cash can just cause problems.

Make sure you are at the appropriate place at the appropriate time to pick them up! (Every year we are left at 1 am trying to contact an adult to come and collect a child!)

branflake81 · 26/05/2008 18:03

I had the same thing when I was a child. I was dreading the trip so much I tried to break my arm the week before so I wouldn't have to go

When I got there I had a great time, despite a little bit of homesickness. Whatever you do, don't pull her out of the trip. I think it will do her the world of good.

MsPontipine · 27/05/2008 21:29

I went on a school trip to Paris when I was about 13. As the date got nearer I got more and more scared. I did not want to go. People kept saying Oh you're going away soon aren't you? Are you excited and I'd say yes but I wasn't and I did not want to go.

I went and I had the absolute time of my life!!

My parents just remember how bloody mardy I was when I got home as I'd had such a fab time I really hadn't wanted to come home!

lazymumofteenagesons · 29/05/2008 16:17

Have a chat with her teacher to amke sure they are aware of the problem. But try and encourage her to go. Usually once there and busy with friends/activities they forget about home.
Can be slightly iffy at night so I actually think phonecalls home do not help.

Blandmum · 29/05/2008 16:18

don't let her phone home....it will make the homesickness worse. Text message will re-assure without pulling on the heart strings too much

bogwobbit · 29/05/2008 16:27

I'm sure she will have a great time. My eldest dd went on a school trip (aged 11) and was terrified - she was the sort of girl (at that age) who was too 'homesick' even to stay over at her best friends house.
Needless to say she had a brilliant time on the trip and barely missed us - she was either too busy or too exhausted (it was an outdoor activity sort of camp).
As for phoning home, i believe it's very much discouraged on school trips (certainly the ones my kids have been on) for the reason MB states.

sunnydelight · 30/05/2008 04:24

I'd also add don't let her "sneak in" a mobile if they are not allowed. At DS1s last school the year 7s went on a trip and were told no phones but most of the girls ignored it. The teachers got woken at 3am one night by parents who had just driven for 2 hours to collect their daughter who was "in a real state". Girls had fallen out, blah blah, and one girl had phoned her parents to come get her. By the time the adults got to the girl's room everyone was fast asleep - it had all been sorted out

Original poster
suzy21 · 02/06/2008 18:52

Thank you for all your messages of support - it has been really helpful. We went through a difficult time with my daughter yesterday as she was really upset about going to Manor Adventure but with all the tears out of the way she went off on the coach with a smile this morning! (I think I was more choked up than her!). I did make sure I kept smiling until the coach pulled away. I think she will really enjoy the trip as she is quite sporty and likes to be busy. I will let you all know her comments when she gets back. Thanks again!

OP posts:
Original poster
suzy21 · 08/06/2008 20:12

My daughter is back from Manor Adventure and despite being really upset about going she ended up really enjoying it. She is glad that she went! Thanks again for all your comments and support. It was really helpful!

OP posts:
AbbeyA · 08/06/2008 20:25

So pleased it went well. It is wonderful for the self confidence.

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