How do I get my 6 year old to read

[Pinkflamingo98]

We have a 6 year old daughter who refuses to read anything when we are home, even though we know she can read as she has done in the past and reads at a good level at school. But when she is at home we can’t get her to read anything, we have tried various different books and even resorted back to “my first library” which we know she can read as she has done previously and is on higher level books now.

last night we tried reading as a family with us all helping her if she struggled on a word. She would sound out a read each word individually, but when we asked her to read all the words together she had a meltdown. We tried to calm her down nothing was getting her out of the meltdown so then of course we couldn’t get her to read and she was stressing herself out. The most frustrating part is that we know she can do it as she has done before, as a family we have always said we don’t care so much about the outcome of grades as long as we know our children have tried their best so we don’t mind if she isn’t reading at the highest level we just want her to be able to read enough that it doesn’t hold her back in life.

does anyone have any advice on how we can help her? Thankyou

At 6, I wouldn't stress too much if she will read at school.

Maybe expose her to good literature instead - films like the Narnia books, Secret Garden, Tom's Midnight Garden, 5 Children and It. That way she's getting the stories and the vocabulary.

That's what I did with DD - severely dyslexic and didn't learn to read anywhere until she was 7.

She still struggles with reading and doesn't read for pleasure, but she's hoping for 7s in English at GCSE (she loses all SPaG marks so anything higher is not on the table) in top sets for English and is considered gifted at creative writing. She LOVES films and has always had a vast vocabulary as I targeted the classics in film format for her.

My middle son was like this. I bought him comics. He loved them.
At 37 he’s an avid reader!

My daughter was like this at six; she was hard of hearing so language was harder work for her. Consequently reading is hard and time-consuming. It's no fun until it flows a bit. At seven it clicked, with a set of books with the Disney stories. Avoid the stressful reading performances as they just burden the topic with a lot of negative emotion. Have books around that might interest her, read to her, take her to library storytime etc. and find other ways to use reading (e.g. ask relatives to write her letters, ask her to write the shopping list, board games). Try magazines if there's an appealing one (many TV shows have them).

Book shopping!! Charity shops have thousands!! Ds loved choosing his own books... The ones with sound effects (battery needed mind!) were a hit...

Don’t stress and don’t make her reading into a big deal. Focus on enjoying books and story-telling. Other people read to her or make up stories. Make it cosy, fun, and something to chat about (‘I wonder what will happen next’)

I wouldn’t push it. But have you taken her to the library, or charity bookshop and told her she can get anything she wants? Or if there is something she’s interested in, is there a non-fiction book you can find that’s the right level (I appreciate that might be hard to find). Or a tv show she likes - kids’ shows often have books you can get at various levels.

Let her choose her own books at the library or charity shop.
Don’t push her or it becomes A Chore and she’ll resent it.
Let her see the adults in her life reading for pleasure.
The penny doesn’t drop for some children until around Year 3 for fluid reading, so unless you’ve got specific concerns about her learning, be patient.

Books that she can listen to while following along on the page can also be a way in for some children.

I would read to her and have lots of books in the house and in her room. My DD was a good reader but would never choose to pick up a book. This all changed when her school started giving stamps for reading each day, the competitive side of her was determined not to left behind! She reads every day before bed now and will choose to read on trains etc I still read to her. She’s in Y3.

Another thing that helped was listening to audiobooks in the car, she followed along and got hooked on what would happen next. Started with Road Dahl and now on Harry Potter. Even if she doesn’t read along she’ll be interested in the cliff hangers at the end of chapters.

Just keep reading to her, exposing her to books, see you reading as a hobby and let her pick her own books. I’m sure she’ll get there.

Comics!! Have a look at Max and Chaffy books. Really simple to get into and sweet gentle stories.
my daughter hated reading. Probably dyslexic, she loves comics though.

Take her to a bookshop and look at graphic novel - watch out for some of the words because even though comics look easy some of the words can be quite advanced - read stories every night and have her take a turn at reading a few pages from her book.
If she’s picked the book she’s more likely to read and graphic novels are great at stopping the words from feeling overwhelming.

Love this idea but unfortunately getting her to watch a movie is a chore in itself she will watch for a maximum of five minutes and then wander off not to be seen for the rest of the movie. Our biggest struggle is her being on her Nan’s phone constantly that she has no interest in anything else.
we might have to go through the route of comic books though like others suggested and hope that might work.

DD hated reading at that age, I remember how painful it was doing the reading homework. Even now she's mid-teens she only occasionally picks up a book. She has always preferred writing. She's doing well at school (including in English Lit) and has no diagnosed learning problems, she just doesn't like reading.

I think that is the same with ours, she just doesn’t like it. We have stressed that she doesn’t have to do it all the time like her sister does we just want her to not struggle. For ours we think a lot of it is she can’t be bothered, she likes having other people do everything for her and I think she has taken that on with reading too

That's a shame.

I do think short reels online have been very damaging for attention spans. I couldn't bear kids TV for the same reason... used to give me a headache. So I disappeared CBeebies and raided charity shops for DVDs and we only ever watched films. DD was obsessed.

You might want to think about disappearing the phone - or very strict timed session. I am not a ban all smart phones kind of person, and I am very liberal with DD, but only because she is quite good at not disappearing down a rabbit hole with TikTok etc.

Would love to do this but unfortunately she would refuse to pick any book, every time we have made getting a book interesting whether it was taking her out to get one or making it a gift she has shown zero interest in it

completely agree that phones and YouTube have ruined children’s attention spans, we often use a rule of no phones until a certain chore is done. The issue is my partner and I both work nights (it’s what currently works for us the best financially) and the girls are looked after by their nan who lives with us who is very much a push over when it comes to our youngest and will constantly give her the phone even after we have asked her not to due to certain behaviours

Yep, DD is very much a fan of the path of least resistance!

Ah, yep, I think you will lose that battle, so best to find other solutions.

Comic books are not a bad idea.

Read to her before bed. Have a selection of lovely age appropriate novels in her room. Let her see you reading. Provide non-fiction books as well, related to her hobbies.

Make a no-devices upstairs rule, so she is not browsing the net into the night.

Get her to read recipes for you, look up song lyrics, buy her an old fashioned diary to write in.

If you do a project like a bedroom refurbishment, buy a scrap book, and fill it with all the elements and plans for the redecoration with notes.

We had a rule of no screens on the weekend until 6pm on a Sunday, for a year or so. That included us as adults. It seemed to really help DCs attention span.

Read to her. Let her in to a wonderful universe where all things are possible. Let her fall in love with stories that would be more difficult to read than most 6 year olds can manage anyway. She can grow into being able to read them later.

For actual reading, I often did reading every other page with ds1. He still did reading, but got less frustrated with the pace and got to find out more of the story.

I'd say it'd really be worth talking to nan about the reasons why you'd rather restrict phone time. Surely she wants the best for her grandchild? As far as reading is concerned, I wouldn't try and make her read, but would absolutely read to her as much as poss, and certainly restrict screentime when you are in charge. A love of stories/information is what will lead to a child choosing to read. As others have said, show her you reading for pleasure. If all she sees is adults on screens that is all she will want. Maybe set aside a time on a Sunday afternoon or whatever when the whole family all sit down with a book. She can choose to read herself or choose one to be read to her. Don't force her but equally make it clear no other forms if entertainment are allowed during that time. She can choose to read, be read to or sit quietly.

What helped my daughter was her wanting to play schools and then reading the book put loud to her teddies as her fellow students, and then pretending to be the teddy and reading the book as the teddy. Maybe you could introduce something like this?

My son is 8 & he has trouble with reading,he is having help in school & has come on a lot (we do suspect dyslexia but here in Ireland diagnosis will start next year by school) I've found recently he has got into captain underpants and the such so those books are really helpful, he read a few pages himself to me at bedtime a few nights ago & was so proud, I try just give him so much encouragement & praise

my year 2 class absolutely love the Bunny vs Monkey books (comic strip style). It’s got a few reluctant readers hooked. I love them too - you could read them to her doing the voices and see if she’d like to play a character. Plus, each story is only about three pages long.

on a side note, are you absolutely across what she’s looking at on Nan’s phone? A couple of children in my class have been exposed to some grim stuff when playing on parents’ phones.