Special school open evening and parents evening on the same day, what to do

[Mum2390]

Hi, my youngest son had our special school named on his ehcp just before the holidays and I received a letter sat morning welcoming him to the school and saying the open evening is Tues, however at the same time I have my eldest child's parents evening at her school which I don't want to miss as she is doing gcses. I can't change the time or day as its a system where parents book in with each teacher/subject individually online. I am going to ask the special school if there will be another open evening later on or if I can come in another time and also if I will be missing out on anything super important such as forms/vital information but I'm so upset that my son might miss seeing the school with me before his transition days in July and worried we will be kind of 'left behind' as the other parents and kids will have met teachers and will know more about the school than me and my son, and I only have till Tuesday to figure out what to do, what would you do in my situation if nothing can be changed around?

GCSE parent teacher meetings will be almost impossible to reschedule as it involves so many people. So if you want to go to that, the only option is going on the one night it's scheduled for.

Go to the special school event. Contact head of year to explain, you won't be the only one who has had this issue. See if you can speak to teachers in subjects which require a conversation, rather than all.

Personally, I would say parents evening for your eldest in most circumstances. Your DD needs to know how important school is to you at the moment, and how important she is to you. Having a sibling with disabilities can be hard and prioritising her here could be symbolic that she comes first too. It's also the event that can't be rescheduled.

The open evening may not be able to be rescheduled fully, but it's in their interests to ensure that you and DS are fully informed ready for September. He will have transition days in July that will help with this, and they will be more likely to be able to accommodate 1:1 conversation or tour at another time.

I'm a retired special school teacher. At my school we would always accommodate new parents with a separate tour and introduction if needed. If the new school is well enough staffed there's a very good chance they'll do the same. It certainly wouldn't hurt to ask.

Is your daughter in y10 or y11? My answer would depend

Sorry if this seems insensitive but what about their dad? We’ve had this and we divide and conquer. They’ve also both had parents evenings when I’ve had parents evening (teacher). There was one where I had a parents evening and they both did too (different schools!). Prioritised the y9 child as it’s options year and contacted the other one’s school about the y12.

In your case, I’d go to the GCSE child’s one. Contact the special school and see if they’ll accommodate a visit at another time; much easier than trying to get 9/10 teachers to contact you.

Yes quite. If OP is not a single parent that is.

Go to the GCSE one, call the other school and explain, ask for a tour. Most schools would happily do that and if they don’t I would assume they have something to hide.

Thanks everyone, it's reassured me that most views is that the parents evening is the one I should go for if i have to chose, its what I was leaning towards. She's in year 10 but with the school they don't have enough time slots for everyone so it's a first come first served thing, I've missed some in the past because of this so I was determined to set an alarm and get in there first with her doing gcse Subjects now, can't believe its fell on the same day of all days, most of the time we're free in the evenings.. sadly dad left a few years ago and isn't around anymore. Fingers tightly crossed when I speak to the special school they can sort something out for us

For y10 I think you need to try and go if you can

Schools normally do a separate tour for parents who can't make the open evening.

Have you already seen the special school? I work in one and we do tours for prospective parents all year round as they are applying for echps and deciding which school to name.

I cannot imagine a SS that would t arrange another date for you - far easier than trying to arrange 6/7/8 parent consultations instead!

Is dad in the picture? He can go to one while you go to the other

My DS’s experience of special school is that it’s perfectly normal for students to join at completely random times, depending on how long it took for the family to decide to go down the special school route, the length of their EHCP process etc. In his year group, a couple joined in Y5; he joined halfway through Y6; a fair few joined at the beginning of Y7; and others joined at random moments in every year up to Y10. There could be new starters in September who don’t have the school named on their EHCP yet. What I’m saying is that I don’t think your son will be disadvantaged at all by not being at the open evening, as it’s quite unlikely that his complete year group for the next few years will all be there. He’ll have the sessions in July. As other posters have said, do ask for a tour if you haven’t had one already. And well done for fighting for your son for the school he needs. I know how tough the process can be.