Good non-selective schools in Surrey for creative, autistic daughter

[AllGonePeteTong1]

My DD is in year 5 and is struggling at her (outstanding) state primary school. Despite it being a very nurturing school, she finds the demands of a busy, noisy classroom really hard. She also hates wearing uniform (a daily trigger for meltdowns). She's also a bit behind academically due to SEN (Adhd and autism), although she's on the low support needs end of the spectrum and has no EHCP.

I'm already dreading secondary school. The ones nearest us are super strict and very large. Kids treated like inmates, detentions dished out for every minor infraction. I think that environment is going to crush her.

We're considering an independent school for secondary. It would have to be non-selective, nurturing and offer lots in terms of creative arts (she loves art, drama and music). Good SEN support. Commutable from London/Surrey borders. Ideally with no uniform, or at least a more relaxed approach to it.

Does such a school exist? Suggestions very gratefully received!

Frensham Heights?

I would say Frensham Heights too (and Bedales, though that is in Hampshire).

Could be worth looking at Steiner schools? Or https://themontessoriplace.org.uk/

Yes, I've been looking at Frensham Heights but it's too far from us. Boarding wouldn't be right for her I think (she needs down time away from people in order to recharge). I'm also not sure how strong their SEN provision is?

Maybe Hampton Court House?
https://www.hamptoncourthouse.co.uk/

I know they don’t wear uniform and are strong on the arts.

Thanks @FayK I'll take a look - i didn't know that about HCH

I have no experience of the school personally, but aware Hampton Court House has no uniform. ACS Cobham too, but a different curriculum, however, their arts / theatre looks very good. Again no direct experience, but I have been looking at different schools too.

Have a look at Kingswood House, in Epsom. It's non-selective (they do a very low-pressure assessment of English and maths ability, but it's really more of a formality), super nurturing and they do plenty of art, drama and music. They do have a uniform, but on days when they have games, the children go to school in their PE kits, so no getting changed at school. Your DD sounds quite similar to my DC and honestly, this school has changed our life!

Also, it has small classes, a Study Centre for those who need a bit more help (it has a relatively high % of kids with SEN, so lots of them do need a bit extra) and has a very friendly, family-like atmosphere. Book a visit and see what you think!

That's really good to know @ElidaGibbs - this is one of the schools I was looking at. Can I ask in what way things have improved for you? Is your DC less stressed now? Also, is it true that there aren't many girls at Kingswood? That would be a concern.

Box Hill School used to cater for those students that fitted less well into a traditional school environment. Not so hung up on academics but on community, service, arts etc?

I'll PM you the details!

Thanks @LlamaDrama20 . I think that might be a bit too far out but I'll take a look.

@AllGonePeteTong1 I've PM'd you - let me know if you don't receive it!

My geography is terrible so this may not be helpful, but Rochester Independent College has no uniform, small classes and is a bit alternative.

Priors field? It does offer coaches too. Ive never had my children in the school however a few ASD / adhd girls went from my daughters class

A friends son is at HCH. By all accounts doing well. A much smaller environment than many of the other schools. Good luck

Another option is Ewell castle. A friends daughter is there and also thriving.

I know a couple of girls at Sutton High who sound similar to your dd - have you considered it? It does have uniform but from what I’ve heard is flexible and nurturing.

Limpsfield Grange specialises in autistic girls - I saw a documentary about it a while ago and it looks brilliant (we’re in the wrong county for it, sadly). It’s near Oxted.
https://limpsfieldgrange.co.uk/about-us/information/

I had never heard of Limpsfield Grange @MadameSzyszkoBohusz However, looking at the admissions page, you need to have an EHCP to get in. I'll look at Sutton and Ewell Castle - thanks for the suggestions

Personally I’d avoid Ewell Castle like the plague - we had a terrible, terrible experience there. Kingswood is a sweet school, but it’s still very much boy-heavy.

How about the Hall School in Wimbledon? Does have a uniform but a relaxed one and it’s very small indeed.

Hi,

I am a long-time MN, from years ago, but I forgot my logins. I wanted to share that ACS Cobham is a good option. It has good SEN provision, small classes, and a relaxed school atmosphere. I wouldn't rate Hampton Court House school—part of the curriculum is all taught in French. I had friends who pulled their kids out of HC.

I grew up really close to ACS and had friends go there. Great school- good luck.

+1 for Frensham Heights. I have 2 kids there and they are thriving.

Having said that, with the addition of VAT on school fees, and the jump in fees from YR6 to YR7, stress test affordability as part of your decision making. It’s hard to go back once you’re there as it’s so different to everything else available.

The school have done a great
job at trying to absorb as much of the VAT as possible, but with NIC increases and loss of business rates relief, fees are increasing by 3% next academic year.

Expect to pay £20K per year for YR 6 and £30K YR7 + 8 and £35K for YR9 - YR11.

Thanks everyone. Seems liks Frensham Heights would be brilliant and I love the look of it, but there's no way we could afford it. @ClarabelleRose can I ask what your experiences of Ewell Castle were?