Fitting in homework - how?

[LifeD1lemma]

I’ve got a 4yo (preschool) and 7yo (year 2) and I’m really struggling to fit in homework - how does everyone manage when both parents work full time?

DC1 is learning an instrument and does 15 minutes practice morning and evening, we read to both at bedtime (and listen to both read) but really struggle to do more than this as they just want to play after school/are in activities. DC1 is supposed to be doing times tables and spellings and though we usually do a bit at the weekend I don’t think it’s enough, and worried about how we will cope when DC2 has homework as well from september. They’re at a normal state primary in London.

What does everyone else do?

You’re probably already doing it but tables can be made into fun things, games and songs etc. we just used to have a cassette on repeat every car journey, must have driven my poor parents mad but we all know the tunes still in our forties!

The home work is a lot more important than the instrument practice.

Great that he is doing well with the music but 15 mins once a day is more than enough for his age

@LifeD1lemma Ah if he's grade 4, then 30min is reasonable. But if he's resisting practice, then I think let it be a bit more relaxed. Homework is more important (at least for me). Is it an orchestral instrument and is he in any orchestra? Both my children are learning with the music service and they don't start till Year 3. But the ensembles will have kids from Year 4. He will be just slightly younger than them. So maybe look at if there are anything he can join, and he can learn to sight read and play as a group. (And it's really fun to play as a group and have concerts each term).

Thanks @WhisperingTree - it’s violin and I’d love him to play in an ensemble but haven’t found an appropriate one for him yet - am having a look for next academic year.

In the meantime I think everyone is right and we should maybe swap some of the music for some fun times tables activities. I’ve just downloaded TT rockstars so will give that a go.

I’d love him to play in an ensemble but haven’t found an appropriate one for him yet

Is that what HE wants?

Make the times tables and spellings part of the fun time. There are loads of games you can play to learn them.

My eldest didn’t start doing times tables until year 3 but I second the app ttrockstars, I was anti tablets but after seeing him doing his times tables on this app it has really made a difference. He doesn’t do it so much now as he’s year 4 and knows them really well but I would say 10 minutes a night and it’s fun and won’t seem like homework. I tend to do reading in the morning with my middle son who’s in reception as after school he is too tired and won’t do it properly. Sometimes it’s just about picking the right time to get the best results rather than forcing them to do it when they don’t want to.

Not sure what your point is here - he really loves playing his instrument, and has loved the one-off orchestral experiences he’s had, so yes, he would also like to be in an ensemble.

My issue is finding one where the kids are his age and standard, as I don’t think he would enjoy being the youngest (as would be the case if he joined our local orchestra), so I keep meaning to check out our neighbouring boroughs. Anyway, that’s a bit of a digression!

We don't have set homework from school. We are asked to practice reading or maths (TT Rockstars or Numbots Apps) but it's not compulsory. They also set 'fun' activities each time which again you do as little or much as you like. DS7 is Year 2 now - he is the top end of the class. We don't enforce homework.

It was really hard to begin with (Reception and Year 1) to get him to do anything outside of school. He had been at school all day and the last thing he wanted to do is homework when he gets home. It would end in tears if we suggested it so we had to diversify how we did things to make it seem not homework.

Maths - We do times tables in the car or maths doing every day activities. Counting putting shopping away or helping work out what we need for a recipe.
Reading - We read every night, have done since DC were little. This year DS reads to us (or his little sister) before we read to him before bed.

Spelling - I get him to help me write the shopping list one night. Writing birthday cards or a story for craft time.
He quite enjoys the 'fun activities' that the school sets so one weekend afternoon we sit down and do one of those.
We are also a very busy household with activities 4 out of 5 evenings a week and both weekend days. DS loves being busy during term time and has requested all his activities. I've used his Beavers badges to encourage some of the homework sort of things. He loved Beavers so this really helped. e.g. photography badge coincides with making a poster for something at school. Football to encourage counting and adding and subtracting.

It should be something they do, rather than something that you do.

I think it's best to get it done as soon as they get home from school, after a bit of a run around to burn off excess energy. Get home at 3:45, sit at the table, all done by 4:15. It's a bit harder if they are in after school club and not home until say 6pm, but it's still better imo to just get it done as soon as they get home. They should be able to get on with it whilst you make dinner, as long as you are on hand to help quickly if they get stuck.

Do you think your DC is or could be musically gifted?

If so, I think that is a different kettle of fish.

I had a friend who's DD was Y4 and had passed grade 7 violin - she was home schooled so that she could do a lot of music practice and fit other lessons around that. She did attend a normal primary from YR to Y2. She was ready to take grade 8 but her parents were trying to slow it down for her a bit.

Is your DC on the same trajectory? If so, I think comparing to how other parents do things might not be helpful. If they are genuinely talented at something then you need to work around that.

I think they were hoping she would go to Chetham's on a scholarship

We used to do spellings to or from school when we walked.

It’s not that normal to get a 7yo to grade 4 in a year. He must have a natural talent as that isn’t the norm which is probably why you are feeling a lot of pressure compared to peers re practice expectations etc. I’ve found music hard for my 8yo (two instruments) but she is no-where near as talented as your son. Something has to give but it does sound like he has a talent so I’d be tempted to nurture that and cut back on the other homework- you’ll never be able to do everything.

I also think he’s too young for really intense tables practice. They need to have them all by the summer of year 4. Year 2 really is just the foundations before it ramps up a lot in y3 and 4. We use the walk to school to practice and it feels less like an extra and just something to fit in. I actually find the apps a total pain as I’ve got to log in, set it up etc. I’d rather throw out 5 random tables or spellings during dead time.

I think nearly grade 4 at 7yo and 30min of practice a day means the child is likely to be very talented. I know of another child who is at grade 8 by year 5 but she practiced 3 hours a day on the violin and the piano.

Also the OP says it's violin which is a lot impressive to get to grade 4, compared to say woodwind.

All 4 of my DC are very musical like yours and academic. We never made homework a big priority until Year 10 and 11. All DCs did loads of music and we prioritised cultural experiences as a family. All got into competitive grammar schools so I do not think I did anything wrong academically. There are also music aptitude tests in lots of comprehensives these days. Not all of my DC did ensembles from an early age. I approached them all as individual. Things can really vary for kids, not all kids even do every music grade either. On the continent they tend to teach musically gifted kids differently. Focus on performance and learning off by heart from an early age. Somewhat the opposite of the ABRSM rat race.
Be guided by your music teacher OP, looks like he is doing very well with your DS. Fit the homework stuff in quickly here and there. Many young kids are clever but dislike writing stuff down. It is comprehension and understanding that matters more anyway.
Obviously just my opinion, and many will disagree with me.

@Pipsquiggle yes he’s a natural according to his teacher but otherwise a normal 7yo boy who likes football, drawing and playing with his toys. I do want to support his music but not at the expense of schoolwork.

@Bunnycat101 his teacher said he needs to know his 2, 5 and 10 times tables - is this unusual for year 2? He seems to have picked up 2 and 10 without actively learning but counts the 5s on his fingers. Maybe they’re trying to get them ahead for next year?

@Araminta1003 I absolutely had that attitude until the last parent teacher meeting made me worry a bit - he’s “only” meeting expectations which is a step down from his report last year - so I feel like he does need to do a bit of work.

I wouldn't worry too much about it at their age, the musical instrument will be much more beneficial. I'd just run through them in bed before you read. There's very little evidence that learning spellings actually helps. Reading is where it's at.

I think where they expect them to be depends on the school and possibly the area. Obviously, there are National Curriculum expectations but most of the schools in my area expect the kids to know all of them by the end of Year 3 and yes, the expectation in Year 2 was 2s, 5s, 10s and 11s. We’re in a grammar area, though, and most of the kids will sit the 11+ so they go a bit faster I think.

He clearly is talented at the violin - but at the end of the day, he is exceptionally unlikely to be a professional musician as an adult so I wouldn't do the equivalent of half a day of music practice a week at the expense of doing no homework. Just a bit of rebalancing as you have suggested makes sense - dropping half an hour of music practice once a week in favour of some homework is really unlikely to make a huge difference to his music but will to spellings and times tables

I don’t see it’s that hard! Quick 10 mins on spellings each evening, 10 mins reading and 20-30 mins on worksheet at the weekend. How much homework is there?!

@LifeD1lemma i think it’s more that my eldest didn’t actively have homework in y2 for tables or tbh year 3. They seemed to have 10s and 2s cracked in year 1, 5s and 3s in year 2 in class without any extra work in home. For us y3 was recapping those plus 4 and 8s with minimal homework again and the rest came in y4. It’s only really been in y4 that we’ve had to really drill them and there have been tests every day in school.

@civilmars
I think you are being a bit harsh here.
You are right that not many people make it to be professional musicians but also it's really rare for a 7 YO to get to grade 4 in a year with not that much practice - he could be the exception.

Even if he doesn't become a professional, it could give him options. There are music scholarships at many prestigious school

3 children all doing activities every day and 2 musical instruments each? 😲 When do you all relax?!

We just do it at the weekend. I'm a single mum and need to work FT. So my 6yo DD is in wraparound clubs from 8am until 5.45pm. There's just not enough time to do it in the week.

I am not suggesting he drops music practice - I agree he does have talent - but doing zero homework but 3.5 hours a week music practice plus lesson is not the right balance

I also think it's not a good sign that he needs to be cajoled into music practice, seemingly every time, and struggles to focus on it. Sounds like a half step back all round would be good