Fitting in homework - how?

[LifeD1lemma]

I’ve got a 4yo (preschool) and 7yo (year 2) and I’m really struggling to fit in homework - how does everyone manage when both parents work full time?

DC1 is learning an instrument and does 15 minutes practice morning and evening, we read to both at bedtime (and listen to both read) but really struggle to do more than this as they just want to play after school/are in activities. DC1 is supposed to be doing times tables and spellings and though we usually do a bit at the weekend I don’t think it’s enough, and worried about how we will cope when DC2 has homework as well from september. They’re at a normal state primary in London.

What does everyone else do?

Mine have tea around 445/5pm then they stay at the table and do whatever needs doing. Homework or reading. We do it every day accept Friday.

Maybe rethink activities if it's every day?

Gets on with it basically! There's no panacea I'm afraid. DH and I had three children and both of us worked full-time. They did activities 5 nights a week, and all of them learned two instruments. You just have to fit it all in somehow.

Breakfast for spellings.
School run to school or random car journeys for times tables.

We did alot on the way too and from school.

Neither practiced much on their instruments, a couple of times a week that was it.

We don't.
My child hates school and suffers awful anxiety while in school.
We place importance on swimming and fun activities that support her mental health.
She is 5.

Do spellings and tables on the school run, or while eating dinner/breakfast. Homework shouldn't be more than 30 minutes or so, and best to get it done on the day it's given out. If you work full-time, who is looking after the DC after school? Could they do the homework with them? Could the DC do it at the table while you are preparing the evening meal?

Very tough when working full time. Aim for 15-20 mins on each day of weekend and once in week. Reading every night (don’t see that as homework).

Spellings/basic maths/times tables in the car. Instrument in the mornings. He reads a story, then I read a story at bedtime. Anything else he’s given to do gets done between dinner and bed, or at the weekend.

Tbh it only all gets done because DS is a massive rule follower and worries if he doesn’t do it all! He’s also the one who prompts the spelling/maths. Otherwise I doubt we’d get much done but the reading.

Times tables and spellings in the car / when walking to school.

I’m afraid you just have to prioritise it. Times tables and spellings can be done to/from school/ in the car/ bath. Written hw you just have to fit in. Maybe consider cutting the instrument practice to once a day. I have 4 children who all do loads of activities and instruments and the house motto is ‘Homework takes priority’. I shuffled around and dropped some activities so most are now at the weekend and they’re only doing them after school 2 nights a week. Dinner and hw are done as soon as they get in from school without fail. Everything else has to be done after. If they haven’t finished hw then they don’t go to their activity, end of.

DH and I do pick up x 3 days a week, and those are the days they have activities (swimming for both, beavers and instrument lesson for DC1), and then we have an after school nanny doing 2 days. I guess maybe asking the nanny to do a bit with them is the solution but they love their downtime after school.

It all just seems so hectic and DC1 is so reluctant - I feel like I expend all our goodwill on his instrument practice (which he loves, is excelling at, but still needs a lot of cajoling to practice).

Going against the grain and saying they're too young for homework. Maybe stop and start afresh with dc1 in September. Reading is important and your doing that already. What's the worst that Will happen if you opt out of infant school homework. Play is so important.

@2in2022twoyearson I’ve had that attitude so far but DC1 is starting to feel the effects at school. He was “exceeding” last year in year 1 but at half term his teacher said he was meeting expectations and eg needed to learn his 5 x table because atm he’s working it out by counting in 5s and doesn’t have the instant recall that he is apparently supposed to have. I think the school expects us to do spelling and tables each day. It does seem a lot when he is really not keen to do it.

Mine are older now but we both work full time. DH is in charge of homework. I do their instruments and meals. He did them when I cooked. Spelling and times tables are done on tablet so don’t need supervision. We paid for times table rock star before the school did. There is num bots for number bond. Spelling we used spelling bee.

They only did 15min on their instruments in the beginning. What grade is your child? Are they grade 3+? Maybe that’s why they need more practice time? I listen to them only on the weekend, check their scales, sight read and do theory workbooks. Otherwise they practice themselves so it’s very hands off.

Try and make it fun. Mine love it when I make stupid voices for them (like a high squeak for 5x5 then a very low voice for 6x5). Bribery also works wonders but that depends on how you feel about bribing them. After a few weeks of practising one table, when I think they ought to know it inside out, I’ll get a bag of chocolate buttons. For each one they answer correctly instantly, they’ll get a button flung at them; if they don’t get it instantly, they don’t get a button - it’s amazing how quickly it stays to stick! 🤣

Music instrument practice once a day.
Nanny reads with the DC on her days.
Times tables and spellings on the way to school
Homework at other times

TBH what you are doing sounds pretty normal so don't stress unless you feel either of your DC needs extra support at school / below expected at school

How much homework is actually set? Is there any feedback from teachers that they need to do more??? With my 2 DC (Yr1+Yr6) we do homework at weekend only, no time at all during the week (we are also both FT) and I feel strongly they need their downtime before bed. I’d only rethink this if the school were saying they needed more. Only exception to this was DC1 doing about 20 mins practice for the 11+ each night for approx 6 months which was ok but did feel a bit hard going but then again good practice for more hw in secondary. Your DC are still quite little though?!

Ah just seen your later post saying you did have teacher feedback. My view is little and often - so if they need more times tables then 10 mins each night shouldn’t be too disruptive

@WhisperingTree he’s grade 4 after less than a year of lessons so really flying with it, and needs to do that amount of practice but doesn’t have the attention span/concentration to do it in 1 block yet, and definitely not able to do it independently. Hopefully will get there soon.

@Moglet4 thank you - great tips!

Will try doing the tables and spellings on the way to school. I feel I have so little quality time with the kids that isn’t just moving them through a series of steps that they have to complete (get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, shoes and coats on etc etc) I am so loathe to add yet more to it but guess it’s essential.

If he’s flying in music but resisting practice I would step back and just do one practice a day and use the other slot for other homework. Music isn’t a race - it is better if he progresses more slowly but enjoys the process, otherwise they will quit once they have more agency. My husband was quite precocious musically and progressed quite quickly, but by 16 was fed up and quit - decades later he returned to the instrument and rediscovered a passion. In retrospect he hated the pressure of constant progression and never being able to choose his own music- it had become a chore and that feeling ultimately limited his ability to progress.

we insist dc practice every day to establish a routine and consistency but leave the duration to the child - sometimes that looks like the bare minimum and sometimes they spend a fair chunk of time doing extra because they’re are enjoying it. Sometimes they get up early and go downstairs to play because it’s been on their minds all night. For school homework we generally do it immediately after dinner. I know many will hate this, but we have dessert/pudding when homework is done, which creates a bit of an incentive for them to get on with it. I couldn’t get away with doing it in the car - that is our down time and a chance to talk about what is going on in school - but obviously works well for many families.

Thanks @Labraradabrador. I think that cutting a practice session would solve the problem. Tricky though as DC really loves his instrument and wants to do the practice in the abstract - just in the moment it is usually more fun to play with his toys! I’ll speak to him and his teacher and maybe aim for 20 mins in the morning and some spellings/tables in the evening.

We cycle to school so it’s not the easiest for chatting!

Ds is year 5 he has to do reading, spellings and times table 4x a week plus a spellings sheet and a maths sheet. It takes around twenty minutes a day on4 days. We do tea fir 515 the do homework immediately after usually finished before 6. We do this Sunday-Wednesday as ds has swimming Thursday after tea and then we give him fri/sat off. He does have two after school clubs but they finish at 430 so don’t interfere.

We do reading, practise of times tables in the week, set homework first thing at the weekend.

There is a hack for timetables and spellings. It’s called Apps. Our state primary does it and the kids compete against each other. Edshed and TTrockstars. Never had a problem getting them to do that. Can be done on my phone here and there, whilst waiting around. If you are busy you fit things in.
Don’t give up the music. There are music aptitude tests for state secondaries. And if he loves it, stick with it.

You need to explain to your eldest that this is homework set by school not by you. Sometimes it needs pointing out. Ask him what would happen in school if he refused to do the work set by the teacher. That helps set the groundwork for expecting to do a small amount of homework. Mine learned that arguing instead of doing would result in me taking the same amount of time off the tv time. I would try to have a slot of time each day that is dedicated to homework and even if they don't finish it is done for the day at X time.

Times tables are essential. I had the same class of children from yr2, into yr3 and then into yr4 as a volunteer helper in school. I had a child who I told every week since yr2 she needed to work on her times tables. Imagine a test of 20 questions, if she can only get through 7 because she is still working it out on her fingers she will only score 7 whereas another child who knows their times tables might get 18.

Times tables are not working things out, it is learning by rote. I always explain it using a song, if you sing twinkle twinkle everyone knows the next two words are little star. It is the same with times tables, you just learn what words come next. As adults you just know (my favourite) that six sixes are thirty six. You are not working it out.

Spellings we used to do in the bath with foam letters, then do the look, cover (remove letters from the wall above the bath), write with bath crayons far more fun than the usual way. For anyone in a car you can attach a clear pocket in landscape mode with elastic through the punch holes to the headrest so it is in front of your child, you can slot in whatever piece of paper you want, spellings or maths. That way they see it on the way to and from school.

These small things, spellings, times tables and not just reading but talking about the story and the characters, their actions, builds a solid foundation to progress from.