We moved my y4 DS in September to another school as we had had years of school avoidance, unhappiness at going in, self esteem issues, poor mental health etc. We were out of options and thought maybe a new school would help.
DC is neurodivergent and dyslexic for info.
We moved to a tiny private school with a bigger focus on wellbeing. The school has a much more mixed curriculum (less classroom time) and class sizes are very small. The whole school has fewer pupils than the year group in his old state school.
Unfortunately we've not seen a huge improvement in his wellbeing, mental health and confidence in most areas (art and sport seems better because less to compare himself too perhaps?).
The school has nice caring staff who are understandably more relaxed than the ones at his state primary. The senco at his old school tried a bit but was totally overwhelmed and he made little progress against their metrics which seemed to mostly focus on getting him into school. He didn't get any support academically but was given a separate quieter space to sit in class.
But the main issue is he doesn't really have any friends at the new school, and this is unlikely to improve. There are only 10 other children in his year and he's not gelled with any of them, and due to the make up of the class I can't see this changing. A new boy started and I felt hopeful but he actually really dislikes them. They are ND and often unpredictable, and even occasionally violent towards other children. He will, from example, play football or tag at lunchtime and rub along with them ok but the friendship isn't there.
He is not pushed academically at all at the new school. But at least he can work in smaller groups and have more time outside the class.
He talked for ages about wanting to go back to his old school and missing his friends, this has now stopped and he's saying he doesn't want to go to any school. So we're back to square one. I think when he's there he's often having an ok time and sometimes even a good day but he still cries about going every day.
He had quite an up and down relationship with his old friends too so that wasn't perfect but he was well liked.
We need to decide by Easter what to prioritise - a more relaxed curriculum and tiny environment, but at the cost of no real friendships and £12k pa fees, or a state school with 30 kids in a class, a narrower curriculum and SATS on the horizon but him feeling like he has friends.
Or a third option - trying a totally different school, probably a state school with better SEN support. There is one near us but currently no spaces.
I'd love some thoughts on what's most important at this age. The idea of school with no friends seems miserable to me. The fees are a LOT of money to us, we're not big earners.