PDA child doesn't feel safe at school

[Sostressedpda]

I'm so stressed out. Please be gentle.

Undiagnosed 7 year old, year 3. Has missed most of school since going back in jan. We strongly feel he's autistic/adhd with very strong PDA traits. This has been going on since the start of year 3 but has really ramped up recently. No ehcp.

Before Christmas there was an episode with another child who pushed my son, (who has been aggressive/handsy to my child before) my son retaliated verbally but the teacher didn't see the original push and therefore when she went to speak to my son for upsetting the other child, he had a panic attack thinking he was going to be in trouble. He felt he was unfairly blamed because the other child wasn't spoken to. On another day, more recently a different child punched my son in the face because he got upset with him at breaktime. So it's not hard to see why he doesn't feel safe.

He doesn't trust his teacher anymore. He's had countless panic attacks at school and at home since then, all around attending school. He can get into school with support from a teacher, but any mention of going to class is causing a panic attack and he hasn't been into the classroom at all for a couple of weeks.

We don't know what to do now. School have said they don't have the staff to continue supporting him outside the classroom, but they want him in school. There's nobody available to help him to take time to transition into the classroom. Their solution is to simply take him up to class and leave him there. We feel that's not going to work - he had a panic attack before school and didn't end up going today at the suggestion of going into class. We feel we've done everything we can and the ball is in their court - what else can we do?

Home ed is not a viable option.

There is lots you can do, whether it gets what you need from his current school is another thing, but your child has the right to an education and school aren't doing enough to provide that.
I am in a similar position with ds, also in yr3, also autistic. After far more pushing than I should have to have done, I have got the school to treat his dropping attendance as EBSA and put support in place. I had to get my GP and school nursing on side. The local authority's attendance team and ed psyc team are involved. Luckily there is a really strong SEND support team at the council too who back me up. We also have a good SENDIASS. Track down Not Fine in School and the SEN Support Network on fb. Read the school's SEND and Inclusion policy and their behaviour policy. And their attendance policy!

Thank you for replying. What did the support the school provided for your child look like if you don't mind me asking?

Hopeful bump.

Have you, or might you apply for an EHNCA yourself?

Would it be possible, do you think, for your son to go into school a few minutes early. Perhaps someone could meet him then and take him to the classroom when it isn’t full of the rest of the class. He may be able to do a ‘helping’ job for a couple of minutes, whilst he gets used to the classroom.

Request an EHCNA. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter.

If DS hasn’t attended much since Christmas, is alternative provision in place?

If he is having panic attacks at the thought of school etc and is having trouble accessing the classroom then this is clearly EBSA.

Emotionally Based School Avoidance.

The department for education issued guidance on it a couple of years ago as it has become a big issue since the covid pandemic.

I would suggest:

Firstly going to your GP and speaking to them about the panic attacks and anxiety. Get it on record and ask for some advice.

Secondly look at the resources that are available - I'm not sure where in the country you are but all English counties now have LA guidance and resources on this.

For example:

www.supportservicesforeducation.co.uk/page/20029

Apply for an EHCP. If he's been not accessing the classroom at all then there's enough for an initial assessment.

Unfortunately the school doesn't sound great.

If your child is a true pda child (like every day is a hard day including the w/e) then the head needs to be super flexible and also the senco. Plus all teachers on board.

You can pay for private EP, OT and Salt for evidence for the EHCP for a 1 to 1 at all times. Yes you can get that free but it's not to the same standard.

However ultimately the child has to want to go to school and be happy there. If they don't feel safe maybe it's too late. Can they swap teachers? Or schools?

If you do have a true pda child (not saying you don't) after years of fighting LAs and lots of cash spent. I don't think a pda kid can cope within a mainstream setting as school equals rules. And some teachers can't flex that. So that where the deal is ended

Good luck. Just get as much written evidence as you can. Don't push too hard for your child or they can end up in burnout that takes forever to get out of ....

What’s finances like? How much money do you have to throw at this?

Id be getting an urgent OT and EP assessment privately if you can afford it, then I’d be applying for an EHCNA with those reports if school are dragging their heals.

Id also look at a private autism assessment as well, or going via right to chose.

You say home Ed isn’t a viable option so you need to do everything within your power to make school (in some form) work, even if it means big financial sacrifices. I agree with a PP though, often in true PDA no formal education setting will work.

There are options other than EHE and school if you don’t want to EHE and school is inappropriate. You could pursue EOTAS/EOTIS.

Personally, I wouldn’t wait until after having independent assessments before requesting an EHCNA. Anyone good with SENDIST experience, which is who you want, will have a waiting list unless you are very lucky with a cancellation. Even if you wait and get watertight evidence, the LA may still refuse and force you to appeal and you will have lost time.

Where is your child going when he doesn't go to school ATM?
Had similar last year with GS he did one term in reception and had a lot of incidents with another child after Xmas he refused to go back stopped speaking.
So he's home ed high functioning ASD and PDA.

Have you thought about him having a fresh start in another school?
I don't really see anyway back for him and he's left feeling he is the problem when he isn't the other boy started it that's really sad.

Try the Not Fine In School Facebook group, apparently there’s lots of good advice and support for PDA.

Thank you all. He's showing very strong pda signs at home as well - we've gone very low demand over the last couple of weeks and we've noticed a huge difference in the number of meltdowns he's been having.

When he's not at school he's at home and we've been alternating taking time off to look after him - we don't have anyone else who can take him. He does educational stuff during school hours and does all the work that school is sending home for him.

I've contacted my gp again this week to get his mental health logged (although they haven't offered any support) and they've agreed to refer him under right to choose.

Another school is possible but his sibling attends this one too and they're very settled and happy so i wouldn't want to move them too and my son doesn't want to be on his own at a new school. He says he wants to keep trying at this school.

Money wise it's not easy - we are pretty frugal already, but barely making ends meet - rare holidays consist of a weekend at a caravan park. We don't drink/smoke/go out and the children don't do any extra curricular activities so there's not a lot of fat to trim to pay for additional support. We could probably find £100 a month which isn't going to get us very far but might help if we save up.

That's why home ed isn't an option. We both need to work. Luckily our workplaces are very flexible and understanding.

I will have a look at applying for the ehcp and have a look at that Facebook group and the links. Thank you.

Id be interested to know if anyone has any suggestions of what adjustments might be put in place in school for a pda child.

I'm sorry you are all going through this.
My experience came with my DD in 2012 and after a lot of messing ended in home ed. Which is why we didn't bother faffing about with GS last year.
We have had problems with him with swimming lessons can't change teacher so we had to follow same teacher to baths further away. Then the teacher raised his voice and GS didn't know what he was saying - he's partially deaf - so can't go back his PDA just won't let him. He just shakes his head and doesn't speak. And we don't push anything because we don't want the no speaking to become more regular.

It's can't not won't. They just can't.

I'm sorry I am of no use with school but I know what you are going through.
There is a PDA society on-line which may be helpful.

I don't think it's so much about listing adjustments that could be made for a PDA child at a school - it's more whether anyone in the school has the right ideology. If the headmaster/mistress or senco don't, then I don't think there is much that can be done. The biggest issues I've encountered are when SEN parents are fighting the school to make accomodations and the best results I've seen are when children move to schools that understand them and have the specialist skills embedded. I would apply for an EHC now, you can do it online yourself. Your child might not want to move, but it might be that you have to make the decision for them. I also find it helpful thinking of damage control vs growth. It sounds like you can only attempt damage control in his current school and even if you can get him into the classroom it won't result in growth as they don't have the right supports. You would then need the right staff year on year to implement the supports. I imagine you can google PDA suppports/accomodations etc. And you can try to carry on fighting for the school to put things into place, but I'd also be looking for alternative schools now. The best way to do this is to try to connect with SEN parents in the local area as they may know of schools that would be good for a PDA child.

Do you receive DLA for DS?

In schools, looking at the timetable and thinking about whether withdrawing DS from some subjects can help. Looking at which staff ‘get’ DS best. Also, adjustments to things like homework and uniform. Teachers changing their language, using humour (for those it works with) and the pupil’s interests. For some choices help, but for others too many choices increases anxiety.

The assessments from people like an ed psych, OT and SALT will help everyone understand DS’s needs and what provision he requires.

Therapies (e.g. OT including sensory OT, SALT and animal assisted therapies) can be useful, and lots find Mindjam helpful.

However, for some, school isn’t appropriate no matter what adjustments are made even in a supportive school. Where school isn’t working, there are alternative provisions (e.g. gaming APs, care farms, outward bounds APs) that can work for some. Some need a completely bespoke child led package. For some, things like Spectrum Space boxes can work well.

Thank you very much - lots to look at there and to think about. I'll sit down tomorrow and have a proper look.