Bursary on £160k household income

[GhostlyHappenings]

I’m exploring options for secondary schools for my son. He is incredibly bright, diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. He doesn’t have any support at school currently, does not quality for an EHCP, but I appreciate secondary school is another ball game which is why I am looking at private education.

I live with my partner (not my son’s dad) and we have a joint mortgage. We do not share finances beyond the joint mortgage and each pay a proportional share of the bills. He has two other children to financially support. We are not married. He has a high income of £140k, I earn £20k. In any case, after his share of the bills, including substantial child maintenance bills and private education for his two children, he has no money left.

On paper, it looks like we have a huge household income, but the reality is that my partner doesn’t financially ‘support’ my son, beyond paying for a higher percentage of the household bills. He doesn’t pay for my son’s clubs, activities, clothes, general upkeep, all of that is paid for by me and his biological father, who I receive maintenance from. Likewise, I don’t financially support his two children, beyond my proportional share of the household bills.

I am wondering if anyone else has been in this situation and whether or not you qualified for a bursary, or the private school took your personal circumstances into consideration.

Is it classed as household income?

This is what I am confused about, as technically, our household income is £160k. But the reality is, my partner doesn‘t financially support my son, and also has no legal requirement to, we’re not married and he hasn’t adopted him.

From a biological parent perspective, my son would qualify for a bursary. It’s my partner’s large salary which I think could be an issue.

You need to talk to the schools you're considering. They all take different approaches

I don’t know the answer, but just thinking about how it would look to them. On paper you have a high household income, and how would you prove that your partner does not and will not support and contribute to your DS education? If they went by anything other than household income surely they would either have to take your partners or his dads income into consideration?

If they took his dad’s income into consideration we would qualify for a bursary. It’s my partner’s high salary that is the stickler. I can show bank statements that I pay for everything for my son and I can also show them that my partner actually has no money left after he’s paid for his own bills and children.

My understanding is that bursaries are part payments although I'm no expert! How would you plan to pay for any balance from a 20k income (after mortgage etc).

Will depend on the school. Worth a conversation with them. Was in a similar situation and they do use my partner's income as he lives with us and that's how they define household. They do not take son's birth father's income into account.

Have heard of other schools doing the opposite, and only taking the parents not step parents

His dad’s maintenance money, DLA and a contribution from grandparents. I would need about a 50% reduction in fees to make it viable.

Thank you, that’s helpful to know.

I think bigger bursaries like the 50% you would need are becoming more unusual with schools offering more lower ones instead. It does very much depend on the school so you'd need to talk to them about how they operate their bursaries.

In our school, we look at whether the live-together partner supports your son or you. If finances are completely separate, we ignore the partner. But if he supports YOU then he'd count. Basically, it's to stop people gaming the system.

So does he support your accommodation, food etc?

Having read the replies, I’d imagine then, that your partner’s income isn’t taken into consideration if you’re able to prove separate finances. By the same token, presumably, the birth father’s income will be counted, even though he doesn’t live with you, but he does pay maintenance.