What do courts generally think of private schools and gcse results versus state schools?

[Parentx2]

Hello. My son goes to year 5 in a local state school. He is very happy there and so are both parents. He spends every other week with each parent.
My ex wants to take me to court and force my son to a private secondary school after year 6, none are local, only because they have higher average gcse grades and make me pay for half of the fees. We have good local state schools with good facilities, rich curriculum and caring environment. I am not considering a private schools having good local state schools where many students are doing well in their gcse. My son could not care less about private schools being in a state school currently. A also love the diversity in state schools for my son and have a much younger daughter who goes to the same local state school so a local school is even more important for us.
My ex is in full court mode and also wants to force me to add private tutoring right now for my son when he is with me even though I don’t see the need, he doesn’t want to, he is doing well in school and most of his classmates don’t do it.
Does anyone know of similar situations and what do courts generally think?
thanks

I don't imagine he can force you to pay for fees or tutoring if it would be a new arrangement - if DS was already at a fee paying school then it would be fair to ask you to continue to contribute.
He is just posturing, let him it's a waste of his time.

IANAL but courts cannot force you to pay towards anything specific.

Is your son with you 50/50?

No one can force you to pay for school fees or tutoring .

The court can't force you to pay so he is wasting his time

Yes both my daughter and son are 50:50 with each parent

Won’t a court social worker being involved? They tend to be very grounded people and unlikely to be impressed by the mention of private school.

Does your younger child have the same dad and is he going to battle with you about her as well?

What an idiot. Let him waste his money. He can’t make you do that and neither can a court.

Yes we share both children

I don’t think my ex can succeed but I guess I will be wasting my money and time as well on mediation fees, court fees and solicitors…? Or am I wrong? Thanks

He can't force you to pay school fees. There is a good state school available.

Have you pointed out to him that you cannot afford to pay fees so he would have to commit to pay two lots of school fees on his own?

The court would never allow the children, full siblings, to be treated differently unless there were SN etc..

I'd tell him no and let him waste his money taking you to court.

I would hope that if your ex H or W actually speaks to a solicitor, they will be told it is an absolute nonsense.

Doesn’t the loosing person have to pay the other persons fees? I’m not even sure this is something possible a court or solicitor would entertain! What happens if you refuse to pay for mediation 🤔
Like maybe he won’t even find anyone to take this on.
I don’t think you can just take whatever you like to court .

I am not sure how close together you live, but the address for school admissions is usually the one where the child spends the majority of school nights, when parents are 50:50. Is it clear which parent address can be used? As you may also disagree on the state school order on the form.

You can't be forced to pay fees or for tutoring no.

If he wants him in private he has to pay the full fees himself.

If a child is already settled at a private school and not approaching a natural time of change then courts can make a school fees order and will force a higher earning parent to pay towards fees (think not disrupting GCSEs or taking a child out just before year 6 etc.)

But state school is the default and no court will force you to take on that level of financial commitment.

We are not far but in different boroughs. Currently the kids are registered with my address in the school but they spend every other week with each parent so you we could choose any address to be honest. I am flexible with the state school, there are good ones near me and near where my ex lives. My ex is just not considering any state school.

Thanks, no, this is not my situation, they are in a state school.

I don't know, but I think it's highly unlikely that the courts would force you to pay for private school. Normally the courts would only force an issue if not doing so would be detrimental for your child. I think it unlikely they would argue that the state school would be detrimental for you child, as all children should be able to access a suitable place at a state school. It would highly likely be against their own policies to imply that the state schools weren't right for your child, as that opens them up to admitting that the state doesn't provide for all children which it is meant to!

Not in Family Court except under rare circumstances.

That's one reason a good solicitor will try and get you to mediate with the other parent and will even try to mediate for you.

Tell him in writing - email will do - you cannot afford private school fees nor pay for any extras such as transport to/from the school, lunches, tuition for music that go with being at a fee-paying school. So he has to fund everything himself.

He also needs to show you he can afford a minimum of 5 years of private school fees for your son as you don't want his education to be disrupt before he finishes his GCSEs.

Also state you expect him to treat your daughter the same so he needs to show he has adequate money for her 11-16 education as well.

He won't

You don't need to go to mediation as there is nothing to mediate on as you simply don't have the money.

If you go to Court show the Court you have already told him this.

Exactly. That’s what I thought. I don’t understand why my ex thinks that a judge would ever force our son going to a private school or even ask me to pay for half of the fees there being good state schools nearby.

Is your ex always very regimented in his thinking? Like it sounds as if he's just got it in his head that private schools are always going to provide a better opportunity for his child, and therefore he thinks that the judge will force you to pay because it's "best for the child". I honestly would not try to argue, let the judge tell him he's got it wrong.

I am not sure I follow you. I did not say I cannot afford it right now, I haven’t looked into it. I don’t have savings and have a mortgage but do have a job. But I don’t like wasting my money on something that I don’t think makes sense.