I'm torn. DH is re-connecting with Catholic past so kids can get into Catholic school.

[bungalowbelle]

I'm uneasy and yet strangely defiant about this.

The secondary school we're in the catchment for is two miles away IF we're lucky enough to get it. There's a 50/50 chance we'll have to go to one even further away UNLESS DH rekindles the Catholic within. Then we'd be able to send the kids to a really good, Catholic school with large grounds about two hundred yards away.

DH was brought up Catholic. He stopped going to church and has one or two major problems with Catholisism, but also relates to a large percentage of it. He's keen and wants to go ahead. He has already begun the process.

He'd have to get the kids baptised, be confirmed himself ... and in all honestly he wouldn't be doing it were it not for the school issue.

One of my children has a serious medical condition which needs constant management. I would be very unhappy to have him travel a long way from home every day.

I still feel confused and guilty though. What do you reckon?

'DH will continue going to church now and again. Certainly not every week though'

If I were you I'd just start buying the uniform for the other schools. You have NO chance of getting in a Catholic secondary school.

FWIW I went to a convent school. In science we were taught evolution, in Religious classes we were taught creation. I just never realised that the two were mutually exclusive and looked on creation as something people believed in the days when they didn't have explanations for things.

FWI also W, after church EVERY Sunday, catholic primary school, convent school... my children are not going to a faith school. Not had them baptised.

The school's teaching, I wouln't worry about. There really isn't time for brain-washing when you're trying to do the National Curriculum, SATS etc.

Getting your DCs in though? It look a bit suspicious don't you think?

QS - when I went to look around a Catholic secondary school, the RE room had a display up which said something along the lines of "Most Christians believe in the theory of Evolution but that God had a a hand in it somehow"

I doubt if any Catholic school would teach anything more extreme than that - but you will inevitably get some families who have a more "traditional" approach to things at home...

bungalowbelle - how old are your dcs? I think a lot of schools would not accept children baptised after the age of 1 or 2 unless there was a very good reason - they probably get lots of people "finding" their faith again as school looms for their dcs! They don't usually look into the parents faith too much though - the fact that your dh isn't confirmed may not be an issue.

Insert d and s as appropriate

I'm a little confused. Is the op concerned with being duplicitous or is the idea of sending her kids to a Catholic school the problem?
A Catholic education does not necessarily mean having to reject Darwinism, feminism etc. I had a Catholic education and I simply don't recognise the slightly sinister reputation this often has.

I do know of an evangelical christian mother who told her children that their dog killed their cat because it was posessed by the devil.

I think that was more to do with her being a bit odd though...

Cissy I'm worried about both and trying to gather more information and views to inform my decision. Secondary school is still a couple of years away.

Were it not for my DS and his medical condition which needs daily care and monitoring I really don't think I would be considering this despite the dreadful position we find ourselves in as regards the distance of the available schools.

Think of it as convenience. Your local school happens to be Catholic. It could just as easily be C of E and I doubt there would be such a fuss if it was.

I thought we were past all that reformation crap.

Would I do it? Yes. No question. I find people have scruples about things like this until they are faced with a situation like you are in. At which stage 'pragmatism' comes in.

Everybody else looks after number 1. People fight, lie, in fact do anything to get into the school of choice. It's not fair, but nor is life.

I speak as someone recently rejected from a Catholic school because we are more than 600yds away.

CC, I do laugh at the idea some people have of children being 'brainwashed' at church schools.

Even if the schools did~ try it, the notion that children would actually listen to teachers!

Bungalow - just to answer your question about 'the brothers'! This was in 'country' Ireland and he is 33.....however there were lots of beatings, bullying and general low level violence for quite surprising things e.g. not going to mass on a Sunday / answering 'yes' to "have you had immoral thoughts about your mother", aged 9 in confession. I could go on.

Not relevant now (I hope !) but gives him a good reason to not feel bad about 'baptising' our DCs Catholic for a school !

My pal is a rampant athiest. She actively challenges any religious beliefs with her background in science. Now that she has a little girl and her hubby is a lapsed Catholic (with similar views to herself), I was stunned to learn that they were considering sending her to the local Catholic School which is one of the better schools in the area. It seems so hypocritical of her as it goes against everything she believes in or stands up for. FWIW I think it's cheating a bit and not a good example to set to your kids.

Friday that's odd and though my dh didn't have anything like the same degree of suffering he does feel he suffered for what was then his mum's/family's religeon and this somehow gives him a right to put it to good use for his kids.

Others would probably see it as good reason to lapse even further though and refuse to go near the church with the proverbial barge pole.

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Volup I worry about the example bit too, but then the way they're being shafted by the state system is a very bad example of how to treat people too so I'd rather have the bad example with the better educational prospects and the MUCH more convenient geographical advantages since it has come down to it.

Oops why was Catholic school bad for you? In what way did you dislike it?

I would do it bungalowbelle. If the school's great and it suits your kids and their situation, why not? You are not forcing them to be anything by sending them to a Catholic school. They'll either embrace it or they'll reject it. The choice will be theirs, as it is in your Dh's case.
By the way, as for you feeling guilty, all I can say is welcome to the party, you are going to feel right at home .

OP, the cleaning has a lot to do with it. Most of the parents at my sons (former) school were more than willing to help out at the Church, it is a community thing. You love your Church, you do your bit. Simple as. But more importantly, this shows your commitment to your Church.

To give you an idea. I am not Catholic, my dh is. However our children were baptized Catholic. I have been doing voluntary work at my local CofE parish church for years prior to my sons school application. I have been organizing the summer fete, art exhibits in Church, Hall hire, promotional materials for the summer fete and the hall, and I have been the Editor of the parish newsletter. This was NOT enough to secure a place at our local CofE school....

However, our combined involvement with the Catholic church, and the baptism of our children (which was quite unusal and I suppose touching to many Catholics, at least to Father) secured him a place at an excellent Catholic school.

Sometimes, it doesnt matter what you do, or dont, and for how long. The final decision is one based on regligion and how yours manifest itselves in your lives.

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Bungalow - would you get into the Catholic school on the basis of your sons medical needs? If you got a statement that said he had to go to a school that close to home, they would have to give him priority, Catholic or not... and not all Catholic schools are over-subscribed anyway - it's usually only when they are very good academically (in comparison with others nearby) - our local primary school often has places (it's good but so are all the non-church schools here). One of the local Catholic secondary schools is also quite easy for non-Catholics to get into. it often doesn't occur to non-Catholics to apply, iyswim. The LEA should be able to give you some information on numbers who applied last year, etc if you don't want to approach the school directly.

I don't think we would grapefruit. Besides his sister is older than him so she'd be the first to go and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let his statement affect her school. I'd want them to go to the same school.

Oops that sounds more like my MILs experience of school. She remembers nasty nuns and children being forced to sit on hot radiators because they wee'd themselves.

I really think things have moved on and as for dodgy priests I was so glad to hear Pope Benedict actually apologise last week and be so open on the subject. (His speech in NY)

I think it is wrong to go back to the church 'now and again' in order to get your kids into a catholic school. For the community - you will be taking a space away from someone who genuinely is part of the catholic community. And also for your kids - do you want them to be taught the faith? As that is what will happen.

I sympathise with your dilema, but you asked what people think, and I personally don't think it would be the right thing to do.

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Potpourri don't feel bad at all about 'taking the space from someone else in the community' because I am in the community. I am 200 yards away. It's scandalous that, along the conventional route, I'd have to send my kids out of the community on two buses to get to a less good school and still pay taxes to keep the Catholic one going. That's what's scandalous.

I think all kids should be able to walk to a decent school in their community.
So I can either moan about it and stick to my principles watching my children being badly shortchanged, or make compromises. Easier still, stand by while my dh makes the necessary compromises.

Oops thanks for your imput. I too respect the deeply held beliefs of others and this is one of my main concerns. I will be at the school gates day in day out with these parents after all. However I have it on good authority I will be one of many.

Thanks for your input everyone. I totally understand both sides and why someone might feel outraged if they are of the faith and have been contributing for years. I'd find it more convincing though if these schools weren't paid for by tax payers money.

Potpourri that was meant to say I don't feel bad ..

It's the 'why faith schools are a BAD THING' argument in a nutshell, isn;t it? The OP needs to get her DS into the nearest school because of his medical needs, yet the school is allowed to discriminate on the grounds of superstition, despite being funded by the taxpayer.