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My child keeps getting bitten in school

28 replies

Kmward36 · 22/10/2024 17:24

WWYD??

My four year old had been in reception for a month now (was previously in nursery class with most of the children. There’s only 16 in the class and they have 2 teaching assistants and a teacher.

DD has been bitten 4 times since starting reception. All on her back/ shoulders. The one on her shoulder broke the skin through a cardigan and t shirt (which ended with a hospital visit). All bites have been from the same child (who is bitten numerous children in the class I’ve found out since talking to parents). This child has also cut all of the buttons off my daughter’s new coat and cut a chunk out of her hair. She currently hates school and I understand why but don’t know what to do?! Teachers keep saying they can’t supervise them all if the time but the ratios are quite good so I don’t see why not?!

ive requested meetings but they’ve all been rejected as they keep saying ‘children will be children’. It’s ridiculous and I feel so upset about it all. I’m reluctant to send her in at this point.

ive emailed the head teacher but waiting for a reply. Any advice??

OP posts:
Chillisintheair · 22/10/2024 17:28

Ring the school, ask them to send you a copy of the formal compliants policy and the bullying policy and for a meeting with the head teacher. Make sure you read both policies before the meeting, say in the meeting that you’re making a formal complaint that bullying isn’t been addressed and they’re failing to keep your child safe. Ask them what they’re going to do to keep
your child safe. Send them a summary of all this afterwards via email.

VioletCrawleyForever · 22/10/2024 17:29

Excellent advice from @Chillisintheair

Do this.

Iloveagoodnap · 22/10/2024 17:46

If they won't schedule a meeting I would try and free up a day and go to the office at the beginning of the day and ask to speak to the head and if they say that's not possible say that it is imperative you speak to someone with authority in the school and then stay there until the head or deputy comes to speak to you. You don't have to be angry or aggressive - just very persistent!

I saw a TikTok video the other day showing a teacher leaping towards the aggressive child when they were approaching 'the child with the complaining parents.' You need to be that parent. Make it more of an issue for them to do nothing about it than for them to actually look into what they can do to resolve the problem.

MiraculousLadybug · 22/10/2024 17:54

It's not a Steiner school is it?

Bluevelvetsofa · 22/10/2024 18:00

It’s absolutely not acceptable to tell you that ‘ children will be children’. Being bitten and harmed is bullying. If three adults can’t monitor and supervise sixteen children, there’s a problem in the school.

@Chillisintheair is right. Make sure everything is documented and followed up.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 22/10/2024 18:03

What sort of school is it? Do you have the safeguarding and anti

Ozanj · 22/10/2024 18:03

Chillisintheair · 22/10/2024 17:28

Ring the school, ask them to send you a copy of the formal compliants policy and the bullying policy and for a meeting with the head teacher. Make sure you read both policies before the meeting, say in the meeting that you’re making a formal complaint that bullying isn’t been addressed and they’re failing to keep your child safe. Ask them what they’re going to do to keep
your child safe. Send them a summary of all this afterwards via email.

This.

You’ll be surprised how quickly they take action after this.

Octavia64 · 22/10/2024 18:05

Is it a mainstream school?

I'm surprised they are refusing a meeting if so, but the one teacher and two TAs to 16 children suggests maybe private or Steiner?

3WildOnes · 22/10/2024 18:06

I would remove my child. I wouldn't go in to my office if someone was regularly assulting me, it would be terrifying. They sound useless. I've worked in nurseries with biters before and we would keep one staff member with the biter at all times so they could intervene before anything happens.

doodleZ1 · 22/10/2024 18:15

Keep mentioning “duty of care” in any meeting or correspondence. If it’s a Council facility contact them. There will be someone in the Council that deals with complaints about that particular school, phone the council and tell them you have a complaint and want to speak to someone abt that school, mention the previous hospital visit. I did that when our son was at primary school. The matter was sorted very quickly and the school were far more wary of me going forward. I only did it as the school dismissed my complaint. Don’t put up with this. They have a duty of care to your child and they are failing here. If it was me and I got nowhere with the head teacher after your email I would go above them to the education dept of the council and that would include emailing my local councillor. Nothing like daylight on an issue to get it fixed. What’s happening here is ridiculous. How many bites is too many, ask them that. As a previous poster said, why are they not keeping a staff member on a one to one with the biter?

stichguru · 22/10/2024 18:17

Write a very straight forward message outlining that being bitten is not safe for your child. Going forward if your child is bitten again you will be reporting their persistent failure to keep your child safe in school, to Ofsted, the LA and the governing body.

There is no way that the LA or Ofsted would not have serious concerns about a school who regularly allowed biting to happen. Maybe very very occasionally because even school staff are only human and might miss something, but that a child biting once or twice in a few years. If your one child has been bitten more than once, that's a lot even if the biter is only biting your child which is highly unlikely.

doodleZ1 · 22/10/2024 18:25

Also they have no right to reject meetings. That would be another complaint to whoever runs this school above the head teacher.

N4ish · 22/10/2024 18:27

3WildOnes · 22/10/2024 18:06

I would remove my child. I wouldn't go in to my office if someone was regularly assulting me, it would be terrifying. They sound useless. I've worked in nurseries with biters before and we would keep one staff member with the biter at all times so they could intervene before anything happens.

I agree with this. They don’t seem to the taking the situation seriously at all. I would be looking around for any alternative schools.

Kmward36 · 22/10/2024 18:28

Thanks everyone, I’ll write a letter up
tonight and request a meeting with all of the points mentioned above!

it’s a mainstream school. We just live in a rural village so there’s not that many children in the area -thought it would be a benefit but im
Not so sure now 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 22/10/2024 18:30

Massive safeguarding fail. You need to find their safeguarding policy and make a written complaint. Escalate to the chair of governors if necessary. Biting in primary school is not acceptable.

CabraCadabra · 22/10/2024 18:35

They way they're sweeping it under the carpet and won't have a meeting, cut your losses and run.

Jessie1259 · 22/10/2024 18:52

They can't supervise them all the time? Of course they can supervise a child that has major behavioural problems if they have a teacher plus two TA's in the class and only 16 kids.

This sounds really shocking OP, I can't believe they're also refusing meetings. Contact the head and if no joy there then contact the Chair of governors. Ofsted will not investigate individuals complaints about children or how a complaint has been responded to so don't go or threaten to go to them.

This sounds like an awful school though OP and your child is unhappy. Do you have other options?

WearyAuldWumman · 22/10/2024 18:55

Kmward36 · 22/10/2024 17:24

WWYD??

My four year old had been in reception for a month now (was previously in nursery class with most of the children. There’s only 16 in the class and they have 2 teaching assistants and a teacher.

DD has been bitten 4 times since starting reception. All on her back/ shoulders. The one on her shoulder broke the skin through a cardigan and t shirt (which ended with a hospital visit). All bites have been from the same child (who is bitten numerous children in the class I’ve found out since talking to parents). This child has also cut all of the buttons off my daughter’s new coat and cut a chunk out of her hair. She currently hates school and I understand why but don’t know what to do?! Teachers keep saying they can’t supervise them all if the time but the ratios are quite good so I don’t see why not?!

ive requested meetings but they’ve all been rejected as they keep saying ‘children will be children’. It’s ridiculous and I feel so upset about it all. I’m reluctant to send her in at this point.

ive emailed the head teacher but waiting for a reply. Any advice??

My experience is secondary middle management.

Write again. Tell the HT that you want a risk assessment in place, detailing what will be done to protect your child from further assaults. Copy the email to the Director of Education (or equivalent) for your LA or Chair of the School Governors.

If possible, attach a medical report for the assault which ended in a hospital visit.

doodleZ1 · 22/10/2024 19:00

Exactly this a risk assessment. Get that into your email, that will make them realise you mean business and it would be better to deal with you now before the issue escalates outwith their control.

Chillisintheair · 22/10/2024 19:12

Jessie1259 · 22/10/2024 18:52

They can't supervise them all the time? Of course they can supervise a child that has major behavioural problems if they have a teacher plus two TA's in the class and only 16 kids.

This sounds really shocking OP, I can't believe they're also refusing meetings. Contact the head and if no joy there then contact the Chair of governors. Ofsted will not investigate individuals complaints about children or how a complaint has been responded to so don't go or threaten to go to them.

This sounds like an awful school though OP and your child is unhappy. Do you have other options?

They can apply for a ECHP for funding for a 1:1.

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 22/10/2024 19:21

This child has also cut all of the buttons off my daughter’s new coat and cut a chunk out of her hair.

If they can't supervise all the time, why is this child being allowed scissors at all if he's going to run riot with them? Putting them out of reach would be a start!

TizerorFizz · 23/10/2024 00:18

@Kmward36 These staff know this child is biting! Not taking action and supervising adequately is not acceptable. They do have a duty of care towards your DD. They cannot refuse to talk about how they will keep your DD safe.

Lots of schools have the complaints policy and forms on line. Have you looked? Usually it’s class teacher (you have tried) and then head and then governors. You also need to be clear about what the school is responsible for. I cannot believe they are so casual about this. You cannot go into detail about the needs of the biting child but surely professional teachers can share their strategy for keeping all dc safe? It’s basic class management. It’s a well off school with 16 dc and 3 staff! What on earth are they doing?

I would be looking for another school. You cannot assume village dc are not Sen dc and behavioural needs like this is SEN. They must have known about behaviour issues before this dc turned up. They need effective strategies to lessen the aggression and understand the trigger points. I’d be out of there very quickly if it was me. Do you trust the staff to look after dc and provide a safe environment in which to learn? I wouldn’t.

mrssunshinexxx · 23/10/2024 00:20

I'd follow @stichguru advice but I'd report it now I would not wait for the next time don't let your daughter be hurt one more time by this child

mrssunshinexxx · 23/10/2024 00:35

To add I'd be pulling her out and changing school as they have shown you their level of care multiple times now and it's below par

Anisty · 23/10/2024 00:39

This is ridiculous!! Sounds like they are not managing the behaviour of a problem child.

Did they offer to pay for a new coat?!

Biting carries an infection risk, quite apart from the trauma to your dd. And to be able to cut her hair - you don't want a child like that let loose with scissors.

You need to escalate this asap. Get together with other affected parents. Official channels first and then go to the press if that fails.

This is not just children being children.