How much commue is too much?

[speedylolo]

Hi all
First thanks for all the info I was already able to find on this website

My DD is going to start reception in September 2025 and we are in the middle of choosing a school. One of our main concern is the level of fatigue from the commute
My husband and I work in Canary wharf and ideally would like to stay there due to our long hours. we are considering

1. a local state school we would be 10 min on foot from
2. 2 school that are 25 and 30 minutes from where we live with use of the DLR or Elisabeth line and fairly minimal walking
3. a school on Russell square 15 min walk to lizzy line 15 minute of lizzy and another 15 minutes of walk.

We really like the school of option 3 but cost and more importantly commute fatigue are worrying us.
Is it reasonable for a soon to be 4 years old? We can cut down on school club and make sure she at least avoid transportation peak time in the evening by coming back at 3:30 but still...
I think 45 minutes school bus ride are not uncommon but the same in public transport is probably quite different. Any thoughts welcomed please

Also i have started to think that even though the independant schools are further, spending the whole day in a class of 16 is probably more relaxing than in a class of 30 so maybe that counterbalance some of the fatigue?
Thank you

At 4 years old a 45 minute bus ride would be highly unusual. I live in a very rural area with the catchment school 5 miles away, the bus picking up from several villages and it still wasn't anywhere near that time.
Your child will be exhausted however small the class. In the cold, dark afternoons over winter when they've only just started you are going to want as short a journey as possible

I think longer commutes are more common in secondary school. I don't know anyone in London who has that long a commute at primary school. How would you fit it around working yourselves? I'd go for school (1) for sure. We live in London and almost everyone is within a 15 min walk of the school that DS is at. Not only is walking to school so convenient but all of his friends live nearby. Which is great for him but also a huge help for us - I know the mum who lives down our road can always pick him up from school in an emergency for example.

Would you be likely to get a place in all of those schools given the distance and likelihood you are out of catchment for the further ones?

a 45 minute commute which includes 30 mins of walking is definitely too much to ask at 4. Your second option, 30mins on a train is not too bad for the child, but I pity the parent that loses 2 hours a day to school run. Might be worth it if the closer school is not great, but I wouldn’t do it unless I was really excited by the more distant school, which it doesn’t read like you are. As outlined I would probably go with the closer school to start, and then move them if you aren’t happy.

as for private schools, I do find smaller class sizes make a massive difference in early years, but more valuable for some children than others. One of mine is neurodivergent and it is the difference between thriving and barely surviving. Her more neurotypical sister has also benefited greatly, but probably wouldn’t be in private based on her needs alone, at least in primary. Our private school has a longer day, but that includes more breaks and recreation time, so dc are in a better frame of mind at the end of the day, even if they are tired.

Please do not do this to your 4 year old

Also, if she is ill in the day, better you commute to get her then she is back home quickly, than she is on public transport for ages trying not to be sick etc. And what about tube meltdown days - better you walk her to school and she gets in, even if you then have to WFH, rather than a tube line closes and you are stuck half way to school with a 4 year old.

Thank you vm
Sorry I created a second thread cause I was not happy with that title and could not find where to amend it.
A nanny will have to take care of her as there is no chance we can do the drop off or pick up but that obviously does not mean we Don t care about the commute.

We are playing with possibilities but ultimately do like the idea of at least 2-3year local before maybe moving to some commute when a bit older or moving closer to another school when ready..

We do have the play date / local community point in mind it does feel though that the central London school. E. G St paul cathedral don t necessarily have such a proximity vibe. For the good reason that there are so few flats in the vicinity! But yes definitely not helping if we are far away.

@Labraradabrador thanks for sharing those details

@SheilaFentiman strike and sickness definitely a concern - _-

If options 2 & 3 are private schools, I'd say those are fairly typical commute times for London preps. DD is in Yr 2 at a girls prep and it was about a 25 commute (inc walking at both ends). But I was always nervous about possible delays etc so I'd leave home about 40 mins beforehand. So even with a 45 min journey, it might end up being longer to allow for tube delays.

We moved house after one term to a house that was a 5 min walk away and that was definitely an improvement. We don't need to factor in time for delays and it's easier to wfh and go back for performances and assemblies. However I'd say that a majority of her classmates are a tube ride away, up to 40 mins away. Play dates aren't an issue - they tend to be organised in advance rather than spontaneous anyway due to working hours, and parents are fine travelling that sort of distance.

DD was fine doing activity clubs after school from Reception year, it was a great way for her to build on friendships, and very normal for the kids to do several clubs in a week, so if your DD missed out on them because of the long commute that would be a shame.

For us we had always planned to move closer to the school and I don't think we would have chosen it if we weren't going to move within walking distance. But that was partly to make things easier for us as we do the drop offs and pick ups between us.

Also I'd add that DD would have hated the journey in your option 3 because of the walking - at 4 she would whine about the 5 min walk at both ends of our tube journey! She wouldn't have minded the journeys in option 2 with minimal walking. But that depends a lot on the individual child.

I would go with option 1 if it is a good or outstanding school. What is its reputation and what clubs do they do etc? What are there KS2 SATs like and would you fit in as a family? Are there plenty of other professional local families in that state primary? Primary is all about finding a nice community school. You can tutor etc later on. The inherent ability of your child makes all the difference and if you can afford a nanny she should be able to take your DC to a whole lot of very fun local activities and clubs rather than wasting time on commuting. Most state primaries in London are excellent and you will be wasting your time and money.

Are you planning to keep and pay a nanny all day and all week after DD goes to school?

Thank you, the plan for the walk part is hopefully she can do that with her scooter... Bit of a security concern. Going to do the trip there and back a couple of time see how it goes. We have a path in mind that should be pedestrian only or fairly quiet..

There is no independant school less the 25 minutes away from where we are so we thought that commute in option 2 would be fairly typical for London (pre-) prep schools. Unless everyone moves closer for school... Understand with 45min we would be pushing it especially with the amount of walking (but it is for a bilingual school which is quite special). With allowing for a bit of delay that will look more like leaving 1hour before the start of the school. Wondering if it is worth giving it a try for a term and if does not work out we would obviously do what is necessary to shorten the commute.
Good point on the need for us to also go to the school pretty regularly as well.
Thanks for the reassuring words on the play dates we do worry about her ending up a bit isolated and doing no school club would not help clearly.. Sigh