Choristership for daughter? Boarding required.

[Dadnotamumlol]

Hello all,

Mumsnet seems to be the only place I could find “on the ground” info on being a chorister… so here we go :-)

Our daughter is attending a college-related school with attached chorister program - and has been encouraged to formally apply after the school music director and college music director heard her sing 1:1.

My side of the family are quite musically inclined, and I love the idea of my daughter having the chance to really excel in music. Our daughter loves singing, but we are non-Christian - so have zero family experience with the service-aspects. She also does not know anything about the program/opportunity, so I can’t say if she’s interested or not, yet!

Also please excuse the faith-based question - but are most choristers and their families traditionally practicing Christians? I would assume so. Or is it more common for others from different backgrounds who are musically inclined to participate? No problem either way. I just don’t want our daughter to feel out of place too much or feel pressured to go beyond her love of music.

Finally - it would appear boarding is required at our school - which at first thought is a non-starter. The idea of us not being with our daughter for such extended periods seems impossible to imagine…!

Any thoughts welcome - thanks for reading.

Sister and daughter of choristers and have friends who are parents of choristers.

There is no requirement to be religious or believe in any of it, but a liking for church services and tradition and choral music is rather essential.

To be honest, the schedule and life of a chorister is so full on that boarding is the best for all parties.

If you have other children, remember this is a whole family commitment because choristers are working at Christmas and Easter.

My son was a chorister at our cathedral school.
It wasn't a boarding school only day students.

The choristers were from 50/50 attending church. They all did great.

@Dadnotamumlol

How old is your daughter, OP?

I thought that you might find this interesting.

https://www.stpauls.co.uk/join-cathedral-choir

If boarding is required at that particular choir school and boarding is a non starter for you, then you can't proceed, surely? There are lots of cathedral choirs that accept girls and don't require boarding, but that may require a house move obviously. It depends how important it is to you all and how flexible you're willing to be. The first step in the process would be to identify the choirs that could work for you and to contact their admissions. Usually it's a multi stage process. A chorister experience event, an informal voice trial, a formal audition, school academic assessments and then a boarding taster (if boarding is required).
Usually you'd need to start the process in Year 2/3 so aged 6-8, but it varies.

I personally think that's really wrong, becoming a cathedral chorister when you're non-believers. Same for atheists who get married in churches, just because they're "pretty". Just my personal opinion.

That’s ridiculous.
Why should a 7 year old believe in anything?

Cathedral choirs want outstanding singers not believers.

None of my family are religious, but they all appreciate choral music.

What extended periods does the boarding require? Even full boarding these days rarely means much more than a couple of weeks at school at a time - with numerous days / weekends / weeks at home.

At least, for normal boarders. The thing with being a chorister is all the extra time spent performing - either in the UK or abroad.

So first you have to have a child who actively wants to board and who can hold their own in a group.

Secondly, choristers are expected to do all the usual school work on top of singing. They need to be both energetic and organised - if that’s likely to be a struggle for her (even given some time to acclimatise) then it’s better swerved.

I can say that pretty much all the professional musicians - composers and instrumentalists - I know, started their professional lives as choristers at school. (Singers not always, surprisingly.) So if she’s very obviously a musician to the core, likely to go on to a conservatoire and a musical career - this could be a great place to start.

But she and the school really, really need to be a perfect fit.

(Presumably there would be a scholarship and or bursary attached to the choristership?)

Can’t really comment on the faith aspect. Rather depends how you all feel as a family. If they’re inviting her to apply then they’re ready to welcome her.

I can’t see her age - have I missed it?

My kids were choristers in a very multicultural city. No cathedral school / boarding though.
kids were from all sorts of backgrounds and many were not Christian but actively of other faith origins. It was fine.

She's singing not saying mass.

I’m a Cathedral chorister parent, currently in our fourth year, with two more to go. My daughter moved schools to attend in year 3 as a day student. We are not Christians and I would say 80% of the other parents are not either. Myself and some other parents still attend multiple services a week to support our children….we often joke we are far more dedicated than the actual believers!

It is extremely hard going. We have choir duties 5-6 days a week and a normal day means drop off at 7:45am and a 6:30pm pick up and a service every Sunday. Also multiple services over Christmas and during the Easter break. Full homework and other extra curricular activities are still expected by the school.

That being said, the opportunities and achievements and the excellent education is immeasurable. The choristers are all so mature and responsible and are a real credit. We are currently in the thick of it, especially with all the Christmas duties but I would still take the opportunity again if I had my time over.

The only thing I would say is, you have to be an involved parent. You need to be really organised and interested, and on the social aspect you have to attend the family days and be present at many events.

Many thanks for this comprehensive response, very helpful!

I'm a cathedral chorister parent too - our son is in yr 5, in his second year as a chorister. He had to move to the cathedral school to take up the opportunity, but it's a day school so I can't comment on the boarding aspect.

I'd echo lots of what @Louade has said.

It's been an amazing opportunity for our son. He has grown in confidence so much, so the benefits go far beyond the music. And whilst music is important to him, it's far from his only interest, and we just about manage to keep some other things going too (acting, rugby, cycling).

Having said that, we went into it with our eyes wide open as my husband sings as one of the adults in the cathedral choir (and was a chorister elsewhere when he was a child), so in many ways the routine wasn't too much of a shock. It is definitely full on, and can get very tiring towards the end of term with early starts and weekend commitments. This time of year is beautiful, very exciting, and utterly chaotic!

On the parental involvement, I'm really enjoying being part of the chorister-parent community - and I'm not a natural 'joining in' type person at all! There are wildly varying levels of involvement where we are, from those who are at every service and do lots of the fundraising etc, to those who just pick up and drop off their children, so I haven't felt any pressure.

And there are definitely families who aren't Christian - myself included. I think as long as the thought of church services doesn't make you or your daughter feel uncomfortable, it's fine either way. The music is wonderful whatever you do or don't believe.

Good luck to you and your daughter whatever you decide!

Depending where you live, there will probably be other chorister opportunities that aren’t as full on. I know DC who sing on Sundays with one rehearsal in the week, go to normal schools etc, but they are getting a good musical education with some going on to choral or organ scholarships at university. These are usually churches rather than cathedrals, but can be a good option.

You could also look at National Youth Choir, as that’s just holiday courses so it fits well around school. They audition from age 9.

There are many, many other ways to facilitate music to the very highest levels (e.g. the junior/saturday schools of the conservatoires, national choirs and orchestras) that don't involve boarding (except the occasional one-week residential at 12+).