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4 year old extreme regression, any advice please?

2 replies

KaliJones · 24/09/2024 10:38

My 4 year old started reception 3 weeks ago - she is developmentally delayed pending a diagnosis (which I’m on my third attempt of getting), but not extremely so. She can talk mostly, and can have tantrums where she hurts herself, but this is extremely rare now. She also uses the toilet and doesn’t wet at night etc.

Until 3 weeks ago. She suddenly won’t communicate like she did, is wetting and soiling herself, crying all the time over little things (no tantrums though), won’t read or write, and her school have messaged me and called me multiple times to say she’s having trouble in class and won’t sit with them or listen, and that she’s probably just regressing because it’s a ‘big change’ - she’s been in childcare since she was 2, and was in nursery in the same school last year doing the same hours.

I just really don’t know what to do. She has mentioned that her teacher is scary (I agree!) and I’m wondering if maybe she’s not getting the support she needs. Her school are awful with this sort of thing, I actually had to leave my job the beginning of this year because they wouldn’t let her go to any before or after school clubs as there was ‘no support in place,’ and constantly called me to pick her up for anything like “she doesn’t seem herself” or “she said she has a tummy ache”. So I’m honestly a bit annoyed it’s going to badly already (especially with having started a new job 🥲). Can I have some advice or reassurance please? I have spoken to her teacher and headteacher and get nothing other than it’s a big change.

Thank you.

OP posts:
JoeDoe · 24/09/2024 13:30

Indeed, children can ofter regress at the start of reception - it is a big transition. And it's a lot of hours, particularly if they do before or after clubs. But given that you see that the school does not seem to be supportive, and catering to her needs, I would definitely take some action. If she is crying every day, and the school is reporting these difficulties, then she is clearly not happy going to school. Three weeks is enough time to suggest that things might not improve rapidly. I would think about plan B, whatever that might be.

Quodraceratops · 24/09/2024 15:31

Is she under the care of a paediatrician? Not wishing to scare you, but there could be a medical reason for these changes - I would get her reviewed or referred.

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