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School refuser with SEND year 11

3 replies

SENDmum1 · 23/09/2024 21:38

My daughter is at the start of year 11, she is ASD (diagnosed) and probably ADHD and PDA also but not diagnosed, puberty hit and we have had the worst year of our lives with her challenging behaviour, her school attendance went from 99%approx to now 40something% and dropping, she’s refusing to go back to her mainstream school but cries everyday because she wants to do her GCSE’s, does not want to be homeschooled (not that I could manage anyway) but because she wants a social life and to be able to make friends (she has none) we do not have an EHCP (trying to get one) any advice on what will happen to her? Her school just keep asking her to come in for help, she won’t! At what point are we not their problem anymore and where do we go for help? I called the local authority they told me our school have to help and if they don’t then move to another school! Has anyone moved at this stage of education? They only have 2 terms left and then go on study leave and go back for the exams. She wants to go to uni and has aspirations, she just can’t manage the day to day of mainstream. Also I’m struggling to deal with this situation as a single parent to 4 kids between the ages of under 1 and 15. Not a stay at home mum either. I really need help, school and daycare is my only break from the kids.

OP posts:
EndlessLight · 24/09/2024 11:00

When you say you are trying to get an EHCP, where in the process are you? Has an EHCNA request been submitted to the LA?

If DD can’t attend school full time, is alternative provision in place? If not, IPSEA has a model letter you can send to the LA to request it. Don’t let the LA fob you off saying it is the school's responsibility to help and if not move schools. Moving schools now is unlikely to help DD.

Has DD been referred for an ADHD assessment? Is DD receiving any support currently? If not, I would speak to the GP and SENCO about that. Is there a youth group for teens with additional needs locally and would DD attend?

WhatsitWiggle · 24/09/2024 21:29

OK, firstly do not panic. There is more than one path to qualifications but it may be a bit more wiggly than you, or she, expects.

She's been absent for more than 15 days. The LA are LEGALLY OBLIGED to provide her with a full time education. If school are not providing appropriate SEN support for her to access education, you can take action.

Depending on how good your LA is, send the template letter from IPSEA demanding provision.

At the same time, contact Early Help and ask for the dedicated link worker for your school. It's their role to make sure the school is putting in place all ordinarily available provision, and if you get a good one, they can be a lifeline in knowing next steps.

Also contact the safeguarding lead at the school. Find out what alternative provision they refer to, and ask them to make that referral on medical grounds - forcing your child into school without appropriate support is causing a deterioration in her mental health and she is at risk of ASD burnout at a critical time. Where are you in the EHCP process? If the needs assessment has been approved, that's a good indication that what is currently in place is insufficient for your daughter's needs.

Whilst all that is going ask, understand what GCSEs are needed for daughter's next step. If she's currently doing 9 or 10, what can she let slide? As she'll need to be self directed in the short-term, and no PDA child is going to manage a full time timetable doing that! Then keep up with the content of the main 5 or 6 GCSEs for what she's interested in at college. Ask the teachers to give you topics being studied this half term and any resources eg BBC bitesize, online quizzes etc. Don't set her work, but do "strew" it so she can easily find it when the mood grabs her. The worst thing I can say to my PDA daughter is "are you going to do your work?"!

Look on your council's Local Offer page. There will likely be charities who provide social groups. Contact them, join their Facebook groups, get on waitlists.

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