Summer born baby - confused by options

[Summerbaby333]

Name change for this. DS was due in September but arrived a few weeks early at the very end of August. Throughout my pregnancy people constantly said how great it was to have a September due date for my child’s outcomes, and many told me how much they now regretted having had their kids in the summer. Even the first thing the midwife said to me when I went to the hospital in labour was that it was a shame DS would now be the youngest in his year. All these comments really messed with my head and upset me as his Sept due date wasn’t “planned”, it was just where we landed after ages trying and failing to conceive, and I knew there was a chance he could come early which of course he did..

Maybe postpartum hormones but I still feel really upset by all this some weeks on, like I’ve already failed DS from the outset, and tbh it all really negatively impacted the birth experience :/. I know of course it depends on the child (and I was a summer born with many summer born friends and this wasn’t a thing back then, and it didn’t impact us at all!)- but the constant narrative and comments around it have been weighing me down.

I’ve looked into some of the stuff around deferrals to try and understand the options for summer borns and put my mind at rest from this stuff. It seems our local primary would allow deferrals, but what I don’t understand is the knock on impact for secondaries. From what I can tell, all the secondary grammars and private schools in our area (and probably in most areas) state that children cannot be out of year. So basically if you defer your child at primary level, then if you wanted to move them to a private or grammar school at secondary (or earlier), you’d be messed up because they’d then have to skip a year forward. So by making that deferral decision at 3 you’d be limiting your child to a potentially very narrow range of schools later on (in our case, maybe only one comp secondary which has a very poor rep) as presumably skipping forward a year at 11 is very difficult. And even if you did manage to keep them in the deferred year in their secondary, they’d still face other issues eg not being able to compete in their years sports team (I don’t fully get this but it seems to come up).

Is that right? How do people manage that risk later on - do they just accept a limited range of secondaries will be available? Or are eg private schools more flexible than their websites suggest? Everyone on these forums seems to extol the merits of deferring but I just can’t understand how it practically works in the long run. Any advice from people who have gone through this would be very helpful. I know I probably sound crazy to be worrying about this so much now but given how crwp I’ve been made to feel, I just want to rationalise the options in my head :(

Having just had to deal with the upset of a year 6 boy who can't play in the rugby team for y6 (as he's technically year 7), and rightly so, I wouldn't defer my summer born child. Reception teachers are well used to the massive differences between a just turned 4 to and a nearly 5, and it all evens out in the end. I think giving the option of deferring is blooming stupid, frankly. It means instead of a maximum 1 year age gap, we now have a maximum of 15 months age gap. How can that help at a population level?!?

Don’t worry - summer babies can thrive just like any other and the ‘gap’ closes very quickly once they’re in school (coming from a family of August babies). Far better to send them in with the ‘correct’ school year than defer them so they have to explain why they’ve been held back a year for the rest of their education. Enjoy the unexpected bonus of fabulous summer holiday birthday parties!

Statistically summer borns fare worse educationally. Thats fact based on averages. You can look up performances birth month on the DoE website and it clearly shows this - and all through school, though the gap does narrow. There are also studies showing worse mental health outcomes. Again, on average.
I'd suggest you join the brilliant "flexible school admissions for summer borns" facebook group to educate yourself on all things csa (compulsory school age) reception start and wider implications. I've just deferred my august born daughter.

Statistically summer borns fare worse educationally. Thats fact based on averages. You can look up performances birth month on the DoE website and it clearly shows this - and all through school, though the gap does narrow. There are also studies showing worse mental health outcomes.

I will be interested in studies showing the outcomes - social as well as academic - for all these deferred children when they reach the end of their secondary education. And the impact on the rest of a class with deferred children in.

@allthecoffee100 https://www.cardiff.ac.uk/news/view/1547555-new-research-could-explain-why-babies-born-during-winter-are-at-higher-risk-of-developing-mental-health-disorders#:~:text=Levels%20of%20the%20stress%20hormone,people%20born%20during%20the%20winter.

Dd was due in October but 7 weeks prem so a late august birthday she was ready to start school so I didn't defer her she coped fine

Shes 23 now and just completed a masters in clinical psychology

I think that is shocking. Utterly unfair on the teams he's playing against and on the younger person he will no doubt take the place of on the team. Shouldn't have been allowed.

I deferred my eldest and he started reception age 5. I wish I have deferred my second born son also, but at the time I thought he would be okay. My third son is October born so no option to defer anyway and my fourth son is August born so again I will probably defer him.

I agree. It wouldn't be allowed in dcs school for good reason. I know you can get a dispensation for a developmental delay though

I really wouldn't worry about it. Yes having a Sept baby makes your child nearly a year old than others when they start school but they all catch up. And there is also no guarantee that a Sept baby is anymore ready for school etc than an Aug baby when you get there. All children are different. I have a sept child and his best friends with an Aug child (50 weeks between them). You honestly now can not tell (just started year 2 and even in Year 1 to be honest) and if anything mine is more immature behaviour wise (as he gets bored all the time!). Reception there was a noticeable difference but by the end of the year everyone was on the same level. It was more basic things like toileting and learning to follow rules - but again there was more issue with the those that went to nursery against those that didn't rather than age

Where I am if you defer, your child skips reception and goes into Year 1 when they start rather than the jump a year at secondary. My opinion either the Year 1 or Year 8 skip scenario so a lot worse than being the young one in reception and taking a bit of time to get use to school at a younger age.

Also I wouldn't take to much on 'not being able to complete in the years sports teams'. My DS plays the year above football (with the local football club) and it isn't an issue. They don't care as he is younger and playing with an older team, they would care if he was older and playing with a younger team.

@arethereanyleftatall

we submit his height and weight measurements to the fa at the start of every new season , so he isn't at an advantage than anyone else physically.

If he was lots taller and heavier than an average 10 year old then yes it would be unfair but he isn't .

Ah that's interesting. I'm glad they're actually doing something to check, (unlike being one of the only organisations still with a misogynistic policy on trans). Do you know if this will only be permitted till puberty - although I wonder how on earth they can police that! I also wonder if he's allowed as long as he's under average height/weight or simply the September boys. Very interesting!

Don’t worry OP. I have a summer born and read all the research which says that there is a difference in educational outcomes early on, but these have all but disappeared by university. So ignore everyone as the science isn’t there. If you’re interested you can look at meta analysis of month of birth v educational outcomes.

for what it is worth, I have friends who held their august born children back which the primary school was happy to do but the secondary schools in the are weren’t. So make sure you consider what you will do in that scenario.

I expect the FA has considered all this in the policy it wrote that allows it.

@Neverhurt
What research is that? We deferred our DC and did a huge amount of research. All of it showed that summer borns experience negative outcomes throughout their life , not just academically but in many other areas of life I.e they are more likely to have mental heath issues, more likely to go to jail, less likely to hold managerial position at work etc etc
We have had no issues at all with deferring our DC. It's a very simple process now days. Absolutely the best decision we could have made

They offer parents this choice in other countries - like Ireland and Scotland, and it seems much less of a drama there. I have noticed a strange tendency for people on here, and also for teachers, to shame parents who do this and assume it’s all about academic qualifications.

@Drivingoverlemons

I agree , I also wonder how many parents of sep borns would send their child to school just after their 4th birthday if they had a choice .

I doubt very many would

Don't worry about it OP you have loads of time. I have an august baby that I deferred, was a very easy process and seems happy enough in this cohort. The local high schools have accepted out of year children previously so I don't foresee this being an issue.

I'm not British and I find the angst around this very strange. People on this thread making comments like a 12 month range is absolutely fine but 15 will somehow cause disaster? In most of the English speaking world (USA, Scotland, Australia, Canada) there is a degree of flexibility about when kids start chosen by the parents - i.e. can be 5 if they think the kid js ready, but can be the following year otherwise. It's only here that for some reason a line has to be drawn, and that line is 31 August

My child has dispensation to play sport in school year level also. This also seems to cause outrage to some - I'm not sure why, child isn't particularly big or strong and doesn't seem massively advantaged, but enjoys playing with friends. Size is much more important in some sports anyway - in NZ rugby groups are done by height and size which I think is far more sensible

Sorry that you've had this put in your head by comments made. To be honest I think the problem is overblown, and is only really a problem if the parent is constantly comparing their child to others.

We all know children develop at different rates - being younger doesn't mean a child will necessarily find school work easier or harder. It's very individual and also very dependent on what the parents do with the child in preparation.

I was the youngest child in my year born near the end of August. I achieved the highest GCSE and A level results of my year with strings of A*s and As (not that this is necessarily all that relevant further down the line!).

Whatever decision you make, I'd be confident in your own ability to make the right choices for your child. Ultimately all that matters is that they feel okay and you feel okay.

I'd also recommend doing little bits of prep with your child prior to starting reception. This really helped our little one.

We bought an activity book from Amazon called something like Activity book for Smart Kids (sorry I can't remember the exact name) but it engaged him and helped him have a good start at school, I think it meant he'd met some of the educational concepts in advance.

Don't panic!

Just because statistics say one thing does not make it true for everyone.

With supportive parents like you your ds will thrive.

No need to even think about schooling for years yet. Deferring might be an option when you get there but he might be completely ready to get stuck into school.

The best A level results I know of (5 A stars with one studies independently in her free time!) were a girl who was due Sept and born Oct.

My own summer born dd beat her September born brother at every stage in their education...

Coming from family where most of us have been young-in-year (my mother was at a small school that eventually closed, and she was puzzled to find herself in a class one and two years below the others she'd been working with ...); and also having been educated overseas, it only slowly dawned on me that my eldest october born was going to be old in her school year. If she'd been born early eg early September I'd have tried hard to get her put up a year - she was absolutely ready for school as she turned 4. Her brother is summer born and that has largely worked for him. Some issues of maturity at times (particularly around decision making eg exams and uni) but actually in year 7 and year 8 he was one of the biggest in his class and I was SO glad he wasn't in the year below.

Don't worry yet awhile. My DD was also a prem August birthday. Although deferring entry was not a thing back then, I was all ready to fight if necessary, on the grounds that we'd been told that developmentally we should work from the due date.
By the time it got to it, it was quite clear that she was ready to start school at just turned 4, and in fact I think that if she'd been born in September then the pre-school would not have been enough for another year.

Have you checked what the secondaries mean by "out of year"? They may count those who have deferred entry and gone all through with one cohort as being part of that cohort, and only be refusing the people who think they might be able to have two attempts at getting into an oversubscribed school. Also, I'm not sure when it became easier to defer entry to reception - if those children are not yet at the top of primary maybe the secondary schools just haven't needed to consider this yet.

What a bunch of doom mongers on here! My mum is an academic in education. She advised me to put my July baby in school. Yes, the first year was quite tough. But he's in year 2 now and meeting all the expectated standards. The idea that summer babies are scarred for life is total nonsense! When I was young no one batted and eyelid when you were born. You might as well write your kid off due to its star sign. Does this mean all Leo's are failures with mental illnesses and lack of self esteem???

Enjoy your baby. This is not the time to be worrying yourself silly about school. If you are considering private school then you have the resources to pay for help if there are any issues.

I have three children who were the oldest,September ,middle January and youngest August . Honestly absolutely no difference with how they settled at school 🤦‍♀️All have achieved their goals as adults and lovely human beings!

@Summerbaby333

I have friends born in September and some at the very end of August, my August born friends are actually more successful, they have degree's and careers. My September and October born friends are going back to education

Stop worrying he will be fine.