I have two daughters, aged 15 and 17, both of whom are dyslexic but highly creative and capable, according to their teachers. With GCSE mocks approaching, I’m trying to gently encourage my youngest to start revising early. She didn’t prepare for her Year 10 exams and ended up failing all her subjects, yet she still seems unconcerned despite her poor results. I’ve set up a quiet study space for her, provided resources, and given her room to focus, but her nonchalant attitude is worrying.
We've been through this before with our eldest. She passed some of her GCSEs but was disappointed with others. She’s now studying BTECs, though she’s already dropped one subject, and is also working on an EPQ in a topic she enjoys. However, she seems uncertain about her future plans and hasn’t been proactive in researching her options. Despite attending university open days and expressing interest in a specific course, she’s still unsure about what she wants to do next year and hasn’t made any real effort to figure it out. We aren't pushing the uni route but have suggested it as a an option. She initially asked to attend some open days herself. We are suggesting apprenticeships, full time work too. While I’ve done some research myself, I don’t want to spoon-feed her the answers—I want her to take the initiative. I’m concerned that she’ll wait until the last minute and end up panicking.
It’s been frustrating for me to see both girls so unmotivated, more focused on social media, boys, and appearance than their studies. My eldest had a Saturday job she loved, but the company went bust, and she hasn’t made much effort to find another one, even though she’s learning to drive and could use the money for lessons. I’m trying to be supportive and patient, but it’s tough when they don’t seem motivated to help themselves. I just want them to take more responsibility for their futures, but I’m feeling a bit disheartened, especially when my friends’ children are doing so well.
Can anyone else relate? Should I back off? or provide more support?, stop worrying let them learn by their own mistakes? (I learnt the hard way and had a miserable time trying to catchup), is this normal? My husband used to get very cross with my eldest which made her back away and I had to be the intermediary to get her back on board with her studies and not feel overwhelmed. I don't want this to happen again. Bring back the toddler years🫣🤪