How to educate ADHD

[Werecat]

DD(7) is strongly thought to have ADHD. she’s on the CAMHS wait list - average wait is apparently 3.5 years.

She fairly bright and has done OK thus far because up until year 3 her school uses EYFS style teaching and she also goes to a tutoring centre once a week where they reinforce learning via gameification on the computer. She is bilingual and also attends/ed a Saturday morning class in that language- again play based until this year.

’The wheels’ as they say for her schooling were never well attached - but they’re coming off now. She can’t attend the Saturday class as it’s now switched to a stricter approach. Her first week back in year 3 went OK, but there were hiccups and I know she’s currently on best behaviour.

When she’s not on best behaviour, noise and being required to follow someone else’s timetable trigger her (along with sensory issues). She can’t be still and is always seeking different sensory inputs. In a bad session it is not unusual for her to rip up her work, run away or throw shoes.

The only extracurriculars she copes with are Brownies and parkour (constant movement and they change task every 20 minutes).

We are looking forward in time and can see her spending more time out of the classroom than in it. We gave up on the Saturday session today and she’s asked me to find something she could cope with. But when I look around, it’s all the same - bums on seats activities or really long sessions which she won’t cope with. So that might be reduced to DuoLingo as she will at least play computer games/do screen work.

i suppose that what I’m asking is - how can I give her experiences and things to develop skills that would work for her? Does anyone have suggestions as to activities that a nearly 8 year old who can’t concentrate for more than 20 minutes, won’t write and doesn’t like excessive noise could do? Nothing round here seems geared to kids like her.

Following, because this thread is of interest to me too with my eldest DC.

Do you walk to school? Some sort of exercise in the morning might help set her up well for the day. Swimming as often as you can - my DC finds being in water very soothing. Incorporate writing into games and everyday activities. Make it a competition - get an egg-timer and who can write the best story in 5 minutes. For activities, my DC likes soft play (we have one for older kids nearby) and martial arts. We do lots of playground trips to chill out - DC finds swinging and climbing soothing.

Go private.
Research: some multivitamins are helpful, as is morning exercise (early am swim club, exercise bike treadmill) and exercise through the day. Noise cancelling headphones.
Personally this is a critical learning stage, I’d not wait.

My dd and son in law used this group a couple years ago. They have been pleased with the assessment process.
psychiatry-uk.com/

When I read your post it feels like you’re wanting her to do academic things. Let her do what interests her rather than what you think is right.
Try different things, horse riding, sports, etc.
join parent carer forums fit your area and see what groups other Sen kids are doing.
she doesn’t fit in the “typical” box so don’t try and make her. You can’t make adhd fit a neuro typical world, you have to help her manage her behaviours.
meds help hugely

Extracurriculars, a few ideas

gymnastics (might need to look round for a smaller /less noisy club)
swimming
Junior parkrun

For school, I agree more movement and sensory input to and from school will help her cope better with school. So walk or scoot to school. Park on the way home or a physical club.

For physical input at school: Wobble cushion. Resistance band around her chair legs to push against. Chew necklace. Fidget toys.

Does she swim? Would she consider joining a swim club?
Climbing is another good one. Cycling (especially bmx / mountain biking), horse riding, trampolining?

Thank you. I am highly academic (think a stereotype of a high achieving autistic girl and that’s me) so there is a bit of a focus on academics, it’s true.

But I’m trying to move past that (while still working out how I can equip her with useful qualifications/a high enough level of education for her to get a well paying job in the future). Most things seem to be created for kids who can sit down, be quiet and do as they are told though.

I think meds might help - when we finally get to diagnosis - though it makes me a bit cross that we’ve created systems that she could need medication to ‘succeed’ in. She’s wonderful and actually highly empathetic and caring. She’s funny. She’s creative. But she’s not going to fly in Maths and English.

I think she might like trampolining and/or BMX so I’ll look at that. Sadly horse riding is not possible as I am hugely allergic to furry things.

We do walk to school, so that helps. 😊 And she’s always so happy to go - she just doesn’t stay where she should be, do what she’s supposed to or handle the other children being noisy or nosey.

Has school referred her to an occupational therapist? My dc was similar. They provided wobble cushions to sit on, the recommendation of movement breaks and a whole load of stuff I can't recall now. The wobble cushion was particularly useful during primary years. But as others have said, sport, ideally sport with a bit of risk without a 'team' focus eg football / netball. She'll find her niche in live, some accepts of ADHD are actually quite useful in some careers.

I’m not sure on the therapist. The school has an internal counsellor who comes and does art therapy but she’s not been offered that.

Medication.

DS1 was like night and day when he started meds when he was 8. He could suddenly focus, concentrate and no longer ripped his work up when he made a mistake. He's just got almost full marks in his SATs and is loving Year 7 so far.

Please consider going private and starting meds.

For my daughter, exercise really helps her regulate her mood. When she was your DD's age she did a lot of swimming and trampolining and went to a climbing wall (she wasn't great with clubs or organised stuff). Then she got into cycling - BMX/pump tracks. She had a music theatre phase and currently she's really into football.

I would suggest three things

1. Start the EHCNA process. It takes ages so you want to start now so it's in place for secondary. The IPSEA website has good info. You don't need a diagnosis.

1. Speak to your GP about Choose and Book if you can't afford a private assessment.

1. Think of her as her own person. She's not you. Book learning may never be her thing. It definitely won't be if you go on and on about it!

I understand it is hard. DH and I are both academic and teachers. DD is not academic although she does ok. She's not us. We're not her. We celebrate the things she's good at.

Meds are given a bad light, there actually really helpful. Yes it’s bloody shit that adhders have to rely on them but that’s life. They make such a difference.

Ballet, parkour or swimming are often great for children with ADHD. I wouldn't go for academic subjects.

1:1 instead of Saturday school could work if she needs to keep up a language.

The first thing is perhaps to try and accept that you can't know 'the answer', and there may not even be 'an answer'. That's hard I think for those who are academic and maybe keen on rules (I'm making an assumption there - sorry if I'm wrong). It has to be a multi-prong approach. As much sport as possible. Healthy food. Not too much time on screens. Consistent bedtimes. Basically trying to avoid overstimulation/too much choice. Rules can be calming. Then stuff like noise cancelling headphones and fidget toys. If she doesn't yet, try music lessons. Some with ADHD seem to find that it helps and there is a correlation between adhd and creativity. Keep an eye on any negativity coming from teachers and how that is affecting her self confidence. Girls often mask well so sometimes the damage doesn't show for years. And even nowadays some teachers can be very thoughtless about what they say and the effect of constant criticism.
If academics are important to you and you feel that she could do well given support, definitely get tutors involved sooner rather than later.
All the while, keep an eye on her mental health. I sometimes think people don't get just how disabling it can be and just how much it can affect mental health. I don't want to terrify you, but I wish I'd understood just how much my DD was struggling (and masking).
Good luck OP. It's a roller coaster! But it can be fabulous!

Oh and also don't assume that she won't 'fly in maths and english'. My DD is on meds, which have helped. But mainly I think she just needed to grow into herself. Having spent primary being either ignored or told off, she got into a super academic school and has just flown through gcses with a raft of 9s.

Medication.

Without that nothing is likely to be much use.

Could you find a teenager who speaks the second language fluently and ask them to take her for an hour or two on a Saturday and do fun things with her but speaking in the other language? Less structure but total immersion

It appears NHS "Right to Choose" also applies to children. Referrals to private clinic who takes NHS patients and provide diagnosis and titration service, completing with Shared Care agreement with the GP for repeated prescription. The waiting time is a lot shorter.

Check this link where you find a table showing those take NHS patients under the "right to choose" path for children.

https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/

For activities, see if you have a fencing club around. It's a fantastic sports, very challenging and constant movement but focused, training stigma and resilience.

@Londonmummy66 you may be onto something there. I think there is a teen in our village who might be willing to do this.

I second activities like climbing, cycling and swimming. Also remember that she is working much harder to conform and meet the rules than others just to get through school. Giving her a chance to relax on weekends and not have to be something she is not is really important.

Does she have a TA? Our most challenging ADHD kids benefit from walks around the school with a TA as frequently as every 20 minutes. It can work wonders.

Not one for her, but there’s a TA in each class and what I call a roaming TA who helps the more challenging kids depending on who’s having the most issues each day.

Gosh, that's a lot if it's a state school. You will find there are few at secondary except for those with EHCP.