Deciding Between 15 or 30 Nursery Hours for My 3-Year-Old: Need Your Advice

[MN7]

Hi everyone, I’m debating whether to send my 3-year-old to nursery for 15 or 30 hours a week. I work from home, so both are manageable. My husband believes 30 hours would help establish a good routine before school, but I’m concerned it might be too much for her. For those who have faced a similar choice, how did you decide what’s best? Is 30 hours too long for her age? I’m also considering how quickly they grow up and the value of spending more time together. Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!

So this is the first time your child would go to nursery? Personally I'd go for 30 hours but you may find you have to top up hours outside of the funded hours so it might be best to go for 15 depending on your finances. You can't work from home and look after a 3 year old at the same time so there's also that to consider.

Go with what feels right to you for you both.

You are her mother so dig deep into your instincts. You’re right they do grow up so quickly and you’ll never regret spending that extra time with her. You won’t look back and think oh I wish she’s gone to nursery more. Quite the opposite trust me.

Also there’s plenty of time for her to ‘get into a routine’, she’s 3! We try to get them prepared for the ‘real world’ so early in this country. My opinion is if you can work it out, go with the 15.

If you want to be at home with her, I'd go with 15. She'll enjoy nursery but will much rather be with you and you won't get that time back

I don't think it's "too much" for children - they're resilient and adapt pretty quickly. My DS has been going to nursery full time since he was 9 months old, and is absolutely fine and loves nursery. My older DS (in secondary school now) also went to nursery full time from around a year old. It's not affected him at all and if anything really helped with the school transition - I remember it being exceptionally smooth with no tears.

Obviously you're in a privileged position of being able to keep your child at home too - which I was / am not. However, if you worry is it being "too much" then I definitely don't think this is the case.

If she isn't used to nursery and its not a necessity, I would start with the 15 hours. You could always build it up.

Is it actually 30? All nurseries are different but 30 hours gives you 20 in real terms at our nursery (22 spread out over the year but can only be used towards full sessions, a full day is 10 hours). The only way we can get 30 is to do school hours term time only.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer and you know your child best.

Is it a term-time only nursery or year round? Bear in mind that the 30 funded hours is term time only and works out to around 22/week if you send her year round.
Is there scope to start her on fewer hours and add more if you/she wants?
DS's nursery was year round, so we initially sent him 3 mornings/week (15 hours), then once he was settled and loving it we extended one morning to a full day so he was going 20 hours total.

My older kids are 16 and 13 now, when they were little it was only 15 hours funded, so that’s all the nursery they did - their nursery (attached to the school they then went to) did 5 x 3 hours. They went off to full time school fine.

If the 15 hours means you'd be working whilst caring for her then pick 30 for her sake and your employers

Otherwise, depends on what you prefer, either is perfectly fine for her and there aren't any documented differences in terms of outcomes

If you're working I would think she'd be better at nursery.

If you are WFH you can’t do childcare, so as many hours as you are working.

Unsure If you need the childcare (if you are working then you would need it but maybe you’re part time?). If you don’t, then I would definitely opt for 15 hours. You’re right it does go far too quickly and it won’t be long before they’re in school! We did 9 hours at age 3, 15 hours at 4 and then now school. Perfectly ready without doing 30 hours beforehand.

I work part time, mostly on the weekends with few hours during the week. So work isn’t much problem. I just want what’s best for her.

You are right.Specially at the moment it feels right. Today was her second day and she cried alot like really bad. And now I can’t stop crying too.

Hm

Yes I work part time mostly on the weekends. Been working and managing her since she was just 1 year old.

Its a term time nursery.I can’t bank hours. But I got your point. May be I should look for a year round nursery. So I don’t have to pay more

Mine went up from three mornings to two full days (9-3) and one morning at age 3. She didn't cope with the full days initially - I was just on the point of pulling her out of the afternoon sessions, when I had a day that I couldn't be at home that afternoon - and that was the first time she was okay.

I don't think they need 30 hours to be ready for school, although it might be worth finding out whether increasing hours for the last term/half-term is an option - the answer may well be no. Our nursery used to do some more formal "moving-up" sessions in the summer term (practising skills useful for school), and I think those sessions could be added if your child wasn't already in on those days.

I do a similar flexi job and my DD will be doing 30 hours even though it’s not massively needed.

my reasons for this are:

its term time only, so she’s going to be home for a big chunk of the year anyway

she’ll finish at 3pm- plenty of time to go and spend some quality time with her afterwards

it’s much better for family balance if I can get all of my
work, life admin and do chores whilst she is out of the house. Then she gets my full attention when she is at home and weekends are for rest and fun

i can use any time I don’t need for exercise and appointments which makes me happier and life flow better

15 hours are pointless for actually
achieving stuff unless you live across the road from
the school. By the time I would drop her off, put a load of laundry in, did an online shop (or
comparable task), sat down to do work- I’d only have an hour or so before I had to get her again 😬

I have 30 hr funding for my 3 yr old, I just started maternity leave, so she doesn't need to go at all.
However I booked her for 15 hr and maybe gradually increase.
For now we are just adapting so only stayed for a bit with one of us, I just couldn't leave her crying. Due any date so she doesn't need more drama.
I think nursery/preschool is good for them, but not necessarily as such although it makes the transition easier when they start school.
Do what feels good for you, maybe start with 15 then build it up as time pass.
This is what we did with our first and it worked fine, he asked for more hours until he did 4 full days, then started reception with no tears very happy.
She will get into a routine, don't worry. They are only little for such a short time and what works for one family doesn't work for all. And every child is different. X

@regementaria this is a good point that 3 hr doesn't give you much time to do anything.
I leave 3 min from school and although I only booked my 3 yr old for 15 hr, I did book 2 full days and a half (kind of regret I didn't book it full) as otherwise I will be just back and forth from school, especially with eldest at school.
But we'll start with less hours a day until settles :)

So many good reasons, makes sense.
I will consider these. Thanks

I would go with 15 hours if this is enough time to get your work etc done - may include chores, exercise etc.

That would give you lots of time together for days out in the week when it's quieter, any groups, seeing friends, and just hanging out together. Although you get all the school hols, it's busier everywhere and a lot of activities aimed at preschoolers don't run.

Both my DDs coped fine with 30 hours but I was working 4 days a week so there was no choice! I really enjoyed my one day off with them but definitely would have liked more time!

That’s so sad. I hate to think of little ones crying and having separation anxiety 😞 They don’t understand that you are coming back 😢

As a society we think that we must ‘build resilience’ early but resiliency is proven to be built by a strong and loving connection with a parent or carer, not by traumatising them. I think you have already answered your own question x