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Original poster

dd was supposed to have been at school this week, why am I so rubbish?

72 replies

twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 15:56

I have put the wrong date on the calendar and thought she was off the same as me, I have just been looking on the school website for something else and she was supposed to be in school from Monday and I have kept her off for a second week.

What shall I say in her absence letter.

I feel sick at my crappiness.

OP posts:
mollymawk · 18/04/2008 16:26

I don't think you should feel too bad. Everyone makes mistakes. I bet the other mums don't really roll their eyes at you (although I can understand that you think they might). DD is probably delighted to have had an extra week off!
And you should definitely complain about the school "assuming she was ill" and not phoning.

NotABanana · 18/04/2008 16:28

Why does he have to nag his partner to have her, and why isn't he having her?

BTW I would have said ring and be honest but you have already done that.

I am a SAHM and I am always forgetting things.

Blu · 18/04/2008 16:28

oh no - don't tell dd dad!

Blu · 18/04/2008 16:29

and don't be so hard on yourself.

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 16:30

I had a chat with one of the other mums about this and she said she was sure that the other mums were not thinking I was crap because I forget things. It probably is in my head but I just hate messing things up like this.

DD will not have been delighted to have had a week off, she loves school and can't wait to wear her new dress that misdee sent her. I was thinking of not telling her because she will be uspet ( she is 6) but someone will say something.

It feels worse as I teach in a school with really high truancy and it frustrates us no end when kids come back late from holidays because parents have got the dates wrong.

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Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 16:31

This has really got to me which is stupid, dp has just lost it with me and said he doesn;t know what the big deal is. I have been feeling very under the weather this week and I think it has just been the last straw.

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Beetroot · 18/04/2008 16:32

don't tell dd's dad

and it really isn't worth worrying about. Is funny really

she is 6 not doing her 'A' levels

hercules1 · 18/04/2008 16:33

I wouldnt stress about it. As others said it's no big deal. I really wouldnt complain to the school though.

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 16:34

Notabanana they have a toddler of their own and I suspect another one on they way. DD can be a handful and his new partner is very young and I think she struggles with dd and her own child. Money is also very tight for them and I think they may have rows about money when dd is there as my ex wants to do stuff with dd and they can't always afford it. For example she has horse riding on Saturday and they did not have the money so we are having to drop it off.

He sees dd once a fortnight for a few hours, not enough especially as we will soon be moving away and it will be even harder for him to see her.

OP posts:
Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 16:34

I don;t think I will complain to the school, tbh I don;t think I need to as they will know an error has been made.

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NotABanana · 18/04/2008 16:36

Thanks for the ino, tsap.

No need to tell her dad.

Does the school think she was ill? That's all your DD needs to say if anyone asks where she was.

Try not to worry. You didn't keep her off on purpose.

We all do things like this. I missed a hospital appointment for DD as I was so intent in taking her to playgroup (never went as hated the cliques but knew she would like it) Found out when I got home and looked at the calendar.

NotABanana · 18/04/2008 16:37

That should say info

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 16:37

She has missed a big feast day school mass that she was looking forward to as well, I had even booked the afternoon of work to go with her thinking it was next week.

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robinpud · 18/04/2008 16:38

TWAP- don't beat yourself up over it. Yes it's unfortunate but entirely inadvertent. It isn't a manifestation of an inability to cope. It's just a simple error. Put your concerns about it in a mental box and enjoy your weekend. I am sure there are plenty of people making far far bigger mistakes on a daily basis.

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 16:38

The school does understand which is why their first question was "Has she been ill?" so I can put that on the absence letter.

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Blu · 18/04/2008 16:55

twinset - if I had done this, I would be utterly mortified for a bit, but it was SUCH an easy mistake to make. It is clear the school understand and are sympathetic.

And when the teacher made that comment - don't you thnk she was trying to save you from a completely unneccesary and OTT extra poject, and might well have said the same to any parent? You know what 6 year-olds are like with thier ambitious plans...

Your dd will be over this in a trice. Laugh it off with her - and don't mention the feast day thing - her class will be yakking about the next upcoming thing, not last week's!

cadelaide · 18/04/2008 17:02

Stop beating yourself up Twinset.

You're doing the best you can, which is all that matters, and a week off school at 6 years old isn't going to upest her career plans.

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 17:19

I am fine now, had my panic and guilt trip. She is only 6 and the week with her dad would have meant more to her in the long run. Best make sure her holiday homework is done though.

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Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 17:24

Perhaps that is what the teacher had meant Blu. DD does like to do extra homework as she is a keen bean and I do what I can but it is hard just finding family time tbh. I also raised at a PTA meeting that I thought there was too much homework and a comment was made that not all parents work and they have time to devote to their kid's education and they wanted more not less homework, so now on top of everything else we get spelling tests. DD who normally gets full marks came near the bottom of the class one week when I had millions of work commitments and did not have time to do her spellings with her.

She is is a class full of super alpha mummies who attend everything, they all have super costumes for the school plays, bring in home made treats for the teachers at holidays, thankyou cards given for gifts given out on time, mine are always late and so it goes on....

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Blu · 18/04/2008 17:30

Huge sympathies over the alpha-mummies.

Homework should not be decided on the basis that alpha-mummies ned somethng to get their teeth into but on the basis of what is right for the support of learning. Twinset - you see, in response to that extremely bitchy comment about work and homework, you can affird to say (silently in your head if not wanting to retailiate out loud) 'well as a qualified teacher, I feel i am able to judge homework levels with some expertise'.

It isn't you who is wrong or bad - you are pretty normal.

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 17:36

I nearly did say that out loud, dp held me back and he sad he could hear me gritting my teeth throughout the meeting.

We are moving soon anyway, do you get alpha mummies in Dorset?

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Janni · 18/04/2008 17:44

Poor you - you must have had that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realised.

Well, it'll give the teachers something else to roll their eyes about, you've done them a favour

Original poster
twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 17:44

Thanks Janni - I think!

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ImflightbutIcantlogintoday · 18/04/2008 17:48

I'd be concerned that I had sent her the previous week when nobody else was there

...are you sure they didn't just have a different two weeks?

Janni · 18/04/2008 17:49

Oh sorry, twinset, I really didn't mean 'roll their eyes about you', I just meant in general. I'm the daughter of teachers and they just LOVE to have something to roll their eyes and feel superior about

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