Son stressed about university choices

[katiecoralk]

Day before results day and my son seems to be very anxious and nervous about the whole thing. Just for some context, he got into Cambridge for Engineering but now after taking more courses, going to lectures and work experiences he's unsure of this decision. He says he wants to change to either Physics or Computing, but for one thing can't choose which one and for another doesn't think they'll let him switch. He also doesn't want to take a gap year and reapply as he is unsure if he'll get in again and doesn't want to spend a year out of education.

This has been going on for quite some time now and I've tried to help him but it's gotten worse over time. I don't really know how to help him decide as it has been so long and he has tried a lot to make a decision and still can't. He initially wanted to apply for Physics (I believe he is most passionate about this) but changed because of the apparent better opportunities and salary. I hate seeing him so stressed as he used to be so happy and curious, but I'm not really sure how to help him.

Has he looked into his chances of switching at the end of Part I? From Engineering to Physics is not that big a leap.

There must be someone at his school he can talk to? Also ring his college in Cambridge now before results come out and ask about changing course.

I don’t know how it works at Cambridge but switching subject at second year is relatively painless at other universities (my son started doing English and Politics at York and switched to English Literature after completing the first year).

Is that something you and he could research today?

I would personally encourage him to take his Engineering place (with the reassurance that if it’s not right for him then one year’s worth of wasted uni debt is the only penalty he’ll incur!)
Not every decision we make at 18 needs to be the correct one, but it’s more likely to be a good one if we can be as informed as possible.

He must be an incredibly bright boy to be in this position and to have worked really hard so perhaps today might be feeling a bit overwhelmed/anxious that all that work has an outcome?

A tendency towards perfectionism can be debilitating/paralysing due to the fear of not coming up to one’s own expectations (apologies if I’m projecting a bit here but these are the sorts of things my own son struggles with!)

Aw bless him.

When he gets his results tomorrow provided he gets what he needs it's definitely worth giving the university a call to see if he can switch to physics. I would have assumed that course is less popular than engineering so very likely to get a place.

If they say no then I would recommend he goes to start his engineering degree, then talk to them when he's there about possibly changing for 2nd year, engineering to physics isn't much of a leap. I know several people who have changed degree after 1st year.

If he's sure about changing from engineering he could have a look at physics or computing courses available through clearing and if there's anything he likes the look of see if they will accept him.

To reassure him a bit as well as knowing people who have changed between year 1 & 2 I also know people who left and started whole new degrees (including me) or did a second degree, never the end of the world if he makes the wrong choice.

Thanks for all the advice everyone, he definitely feels like he needs to be perfect and choose the correct path immediately, even though I've tried reassuring him that he doesn't. He'll definitely call his college and ask them if he can switch, he just needs to figure out what he wants to switch to.

If he’s really unsure still OP I’d say just start on the course he applied for and then he can change if he feels it’s the wrong fit.

Cambridge can be a bit stricter than other uni’s on this but it’s not impossible. He could potentially switch in the first few weeks (provided he has the right A Level subjects and grades for his new course), if that’s not possible then he can apply to switch at the end of Year 1 (provided he got a 2:1 minimum that year) x

I suspect whether Cambridge will contemplate this will depend if they've had physics offer holders miss their physics grades and I would hazard a guess that he may need to do another interview with someone from the physics department.

The way forward may become much clearer tomorrow. It may be worth him looking really carefully at the content of the Engineering course to see whether it may work for him in terms of optional subjects etc so that he's been able to have a proper think about it. It may be that he can discuss it with someone already on the course - does his school have anyone from previous years etc that they could link him up with for a chat? Otherwise, reaching out somewhere like The Student Room might give him a better idea of the reality.

Good luck to him, it's heart-in-mouth when you need the very top grades.

@katiecoralk

Fingers crossed for a good outcome for this, OP.

Has he said anything about what kind of work he would like to do after University?

FWIW if your son is considering Computing due to post degree career options it might be worth taking a look at the U.K. jobs subreddits to find out if that’s really the case.

Computing isn’t my thing so I’ve not been paying specific attention but I have vaguely noticed lots of people saying that the job market across the sector is dead at the middle level - still lots of lower level practical IT jobs and associated apprenticeships (for non degree starters) and lots of really high level vacancies in Computing, Programming and Cyber Security but in the middle there are thousands more applicants than jobs and recent young graduates aren’t getting many opportunities at all (they are competing with a glut of second career adults who retrained in response to Covid/).

If Physics is his true love he should probably pursue that rather than trade passion for an employability-that-may-not-exist.

I would discourage the gap year (especially if you get confirmation that a future swap for Physics is possible) because if your lad is prone to overthinking and anxious perfectionism he will have way too much time to get stuck in a rut if he’s at home and all his mates are off to uni or starting apprenticeships/full time work.

Better to go on time and try the Engineering course and even if it’s really not for him then being on campus/in halls/joining societies/making new friends will help him choose a new subject/find the right course for him.

@katiecoralk Im going to tag @ErrolTheDragon
I know her DD did engineering at Cambridge so might be able to help.

Also engineers come out of uni with all sorts of skills. Engineering is very broad. A grad can easily get into coding for example. DDs friend did mech Eng and is now a full stack engineer earning a high salary abroad. So many options without studying CS.

It would be Natural Science at Cambridge - is he happy with the Nat Sci course structure and subject spread?

The colleges aren't allowed to talk to students at the moment, until the results embargo is lifted, but he should try and talk to someone at his college. Changes of subject do happen, but he might have missed the boat for an immediate change as lab-based courses may have no space. Changes can also happen after "Part I", subject to being adequately prepared for the Part II; I don't know whether that is likely to be possible for either switch.

Colleges are not unused to people changing their minds, so they'll probably be quite willing to talk about it and suggest what to do. If it's just a matter of physical space, they might be able to say "yes if you defer". I think computer science is much more competitive than engineering, so I guess they might want to re-interview to consider that one.

Thanks for the further responses everyone, they really helped. In terms of work he wants to do after Uni, he's mentioned a lot of different career options like wanting to work as a physicist, work in software or something in the space sector. Those all seem quite broad though and he doesn't know for sure what he wants to do. I'm not really sure of the careers after physics as they don't seem that defined as opposed to engineering or computing. He has looked at the Natural Sciences options and says he is happy with them. However, it's good to know that even if he can't switch engineering has transferrable skills to other fields.

No shame in trying and seeing how he beds in. Personally, I'd suggest a switch to computer science if he's that way inclined.

Regarding the possibility of transferring to Computer Science, it's worth reading this:

https://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/~sbh11/faq.html

Wow! The CS transfer option seems a bit unlikely, eh? 😳

OP - hope your son is having a good day now that at least one factor of the uncertainty is resolved (results day) ♥️

There’s lots of programming in engineering. You don’t need cs. Stick with what he’s got and explore options on the course. You really can divert into other areas for employment. Cambridge is a very broad course.

Sometimes what dc want changes whilst at uni in terms of careers. They don’t necessarily want the same at 22 as they did at 17-18. University opens up other avenues. Computers are what dc know about. They haven’t been exposed to other forms of engineering so the degree opens minds. I would encourage him to stay put.