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Do most children love school?

84 replies

Criteria16 · 07/08/2024 13:25

It might seem a very philosophical question, but there is a context, I promise!

We are currently abroad visiting family and friends, in our country of origin (Southern Europe). My 5yo son - who's going to be in Y1 in September - is having a great time but he's also regularly asking to go back to school. He had a fantastic time in Reception, walking in enthusiastically every single day, making great progress and building relationships. During the break his days are filled with fun and relax: days out at theme parks, outdoor swimming pools, parties with friends, playdates, beach breaks, very spoiled by extended family, few to no restrictions in terms of bed/screen time....Really no reason to wanting to end it, but a genuine desire to go back to his school friends, learning and routine I guess.

I commented with my in-laws that I had similar comments from other school friends and family friends of similar age, basically lukewarm reaction to start the holidays (all from neurotypical children in average families, not situations in which life at home is difficult or other issues).

I was telling this being positively surprised and proud, but my in-laws think I am lying and there is no way children WANT to go to school.

Tell me I am right and your children also love school:).

OP posts:
kezzykicks · 07/08/2024 21:51

Both my children hate school. Very jealous of those who have children who love it. My children go to an amazing school, have friends and love learning but just find the days too long and stressful. Not sure school is right for all children but unfortunately we don't have a choice.

planAplanB · 07/08/2024 22:05

Mine mostly hate school. Aged 8 and 10

Klippityklopp · 07/08/2024 22:56

I had one that absolutely loved school, embraced everything about it and one who tolerated it as they knew they had no choice.

JumpinJellyfish · 07/08/2024 23:07

I absolutely loved school as a child, the whole way through from reception to sixth form. I loved learning and being with my friends all day. I wasn’t an only child either.

My DS1 (just finished year 1) is less effusive than I was but goes in happily, loves being with his friends and according to his school report (he tells me very little!) is a happy and enthusiastic member of his class. I hope it continues.

babybythesea · 07/08/2024 23:11

Both mine loved school all the way through primary.
DD1 is 15 and is at best non-comittal about it. Or most things to be fair! She wants to do A’Levels though so it can’t be too bad.

DD2 is just about to start secondary so we’ll see. She’s loved primary though - didn’t want to leave because “I’m so happy there.”

mollyfolk · 08/08/2024 06:24

All of my children love school thank goodness. They are aged 5 - 12. They also love the holidays so we’ve no talk about going back yet. I also loved school until secondary.

crazycrofter · 08/08/2024 14:05

My dd loved school consistently from starting nursery to the end of year 9 (at four different settings, both state and private) and then didn't really enjoy the exam years. She's incredibly sociable though, which was a big part of it, plus bright and had no issues with the academic side.

My ds (just left school) was a round peg in a square hole and would always rather have been at home. There were things he enjoyed about school over the years - playing in the playground in infants, the table tennis tables at secondary school, the social side of sixth form - but he would never have chosen to go to school over staying at home, and we did actually home school him in juniors. So it's entirely dependant on the child!

RareFawn · 08/08/2024 14:08

Turophilic · 07/08/2024 14:01

First few years, two of my three loved it. Basically it was a convenient place to see all of their friends at once.
DD was bored in summer holidays unless there was a constant stream of playmates.

Same for my three.

MalcolmTuckersBollockingface · 08/08/2024 14:48

My DD adored school in KS1, to the point that, when COVID hit, she was absolutely devastated by lock down. She still enjoyed school in year 3 and 4 but by year 5 she hated it and the school refusal started.

Why the change? Difficulties with her peer group/ low-level bullying and a headteacher who didn't believe that these things happened in her school and an unwillingness to support my DD. Her best friend left in year 4 which didn't help as she was left friendless. I think the SATS prep obliterated her love of learning so school was not a happy place.

Fast forward to year 6 and the headteacher failed to support my DD when a series of major safeguarding incidents took place. My DD was the victim but they took the side of the perpetrator.

Unsurprisingly, we home educate now.

Disturbia81 · 08/08/2024 15:56

Yeah mine love school, they love being off too. Never had a problem getting them there and always skipped in

I've had friends who've had to persuade every day though from a young age, it sounds hard. Both are only children and clingy to their mums

MargaretThursday · 08/08/2024 19:57

Ds hated school pretty much beginning until (nearly now) end.
Reception was particularly bad because free play and the accompanying noise didn't go well with hearing problems and (we didn't know then) asd. Year 1 was definitely better.

Dd2 enjoyed school as long as everything went her way - and she was very good at that.

Dd1 loved it at times (I remember her crying at half term because I wouldn't let her go to school) and was fairly indifferent at times. She loved year R and 1 especially.

howchildrenreallylearn · 08/08/2024 20:05

Fifferfefferfeff · 07/08/2024 21:46

What does that have to do with it?!

Also, you do have to be very financially secure indeed to take 18 years out of work to home school. Although you can get benefits to do so, not everyone feels that's the best choice. Not everyone has the academic credentials to do so, either.
Personally, unless my DC were suffering, I'd think it best they learn to tolerate it.

I would have preferred home education myself, but my family were abusive (as were teachers at my school, so neither option was ideal. As a compromise, I took as many sick days off as I could to get through it.

The poster was merely pointing out that children do not have to go to school by law (as was stated in the post she was referring to). In the UK you opt in to school. Legally your child has to receive an education but that doesn’t have to be in a school.

I home educate and can tell you that most parents work at least part time. You’d be surprised how some families make it work. Sorry for what you suffered as a child 💐

Fifferfefferfeff · 08/08/2024 20:17

howchildrenreallylearn · 08/08/2024 20:05

The poster was merely pointing out that children do not have to go to school by law (as was stated in the post she was referring to). In the UK you opt in to school. Legally your child has to receive an education but that doesn’t have to be in a school.

I home educate and can tell you that most parents work at least part time. You’d be surprised how some families make it work. Sorry for what you suffered as a child 💐

Does universal credit allow that, though? I thought you still had to find 30 or 35 hours of work or equivalent pay, even if you home school?

(I think in the past the DWP wasn't allowed to force a home schooling parent to work, but it's changed. I might be wrong, though.)

dylexicdementor11 · 08/08/2024 22:40

Fifferfefferfeff · 07/08/2024 21:46

What does that have to do with it?!

Also, you do have to be very financially secure indeed to take 18 years out of work to home school. Although you can get benefits to do so, not everyone feels that's the best choice. Not everyone has the academic credentials to do so, either.
Personally, unless my DC were suffering, I'd think it best they learn to tolerate it.

I would have preferred home education myself, but my family were abusive (as were teachers at my school, so neither option was ideal. As a compromise, I took as many sick days off as I could to get through it.

My comment was in response to this:

“Personally, I'd never like going somewhere I had to go by law, or where I was told what to do”

So I was simply pointing out that the ‘law’ does not require school attendance.

Motheranddaughter · 08/08/2024 22:46

My eldest liked it okay
My youngest hated it

Saracen · 09/08/2024 07:20

Fifferfefferfeff · 08/08/2024 20:17

Does universal credit allow that, though? I thought you still had to find 30 or 35 hours of work or equivalent pay, even if you home school?

(I think in the past the DWP wasn't allowed to force a home schooling parent to work, but it's changed. I might be wrong, though.)

In practice the increased hours which parents on UC are expected to work does make home ed more difficult for them.

It's still the case that parents on UC cannot be required to use state school as childcare. This is because the government line is that school is 100% about education: if they said otherwise, then presumably they'd have to make school hours more suitable for working parents.

So if you home educated while on UC, you'd be expected to make your best efforts to find a job, and to use paid childcare if you needed it. UC pays 85% of the cost. But if you could demonstrate that no suitable childcare was available at all (e.g. all local childminders were full and other childcare providers' hours didn't match your work requirements) and therefore you had to leave your job or not take up a job you were offered, you couldn't be sanctioned for refusing to put your children into school to enable you to work. Because "school isn't childcare" according to the government.

Now, you might think, "Hang on, if your kids are at the childminders for that many hours a week, how can you be home educating them?" And it is much harder than before, when parents' work requirements were lower. However, the one-to-one attention which HE kids get means their education is much more efficient than school, and can be done in fewer hours. (The efficiency of individual teaching can is acknowledged in the policy relating to the education of kids who aren't being home educated but instead are being educated by the LA outside of school, for instance because they are too ill or no school place can be found. In such a case, the LA is only required to provide a minimum of ten hours a week of tutoring.)

As I say, it is quite difficult in practice, however. I especially feel for the children whose SEN makes school unbearable for them, and whose parents may now find it extremely difficult to home educate them.

GHSP · 09/08/2024 07:27

Mine loved secondary much more than primary. I have a child about to start Y9 who’d happily skip the next four weeks of holiday so they can see their friends and start lessons again.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 09/08/2024 07:30

My son likes school. He has occasional grumbles, but at the end of the day all his friends are there, primary school in the UK is quite relaxed and they learn interesting stuff...why wouldn't he like it? Of course it would be different for a child who struggled academically or socially, but (in the sense of being pretty average) he doesn't.

Bluestonecat · 09/08/2024 08:14

My children have all always enjoyed school. They like the stimulation , routine and obviously social aspects. They do well at school.
My teens love secondary school and the constant changing lessons especially when they have been able to pick subjects. They respect and like the teachers also
Obviously aspects or lessons they don't love ( neither of mine like RE and are a little vocal on this ) but they are happy with school overall.
I have 2 secondary school age ( local very good secondary school) and 1 primary child ( in small nurturing village school). Neurotypical and we are a average working family in a nice area.
Schools are a positive experience where we are.

PhillipMontyTomato · 09/08/2024 12:56

One of my sons just finished year 9. I don't see how anyone could love his secondary school. Lots of shouty teachers, punishments and lining up. Lots of unfairness with academic results too. So you get one mark on the test but a lower mark for your end of year result and hence you are assigned a lower set. No feedback as to why and with no homework ever marked it is hard to know how it can be objective. I hate the place with a passion and I don't even have to go there. I miss primary where the students weren't just a number and the teachers seemed to like them.

Dahlietta · 09/08/2024 17:24

My two like school and never complain about going, but they would ALWAYS rather have a day off 😂

Nat6999 · 10/08/2024 02:35

My ds loved school up to the end of Y1 & then absolutely hated it. Once he could read, he was far happier investigating things & learning himself, he would spend hours on the Internet or reading anything he had a deep interest in. He is starting foundation year at university in September & has already bought all the books on the reading list & read most of them. From being around 8, he would watch the news & if anything interested him, he would then be looking for more information. It is one of the reasons I think he will do well at university because he will be able to investigate things to a greater depth on his course.

Needmoresleep · 10/08/2024 04:23

DD used to know several kids who attended or had moved from the Lycee CDG. From observation, kids enjoyed English schools much more than they enjoyed the French system. In sixth form the French timetable was brutal.

CookingApron · 10/08/2024 04:41

Yes, my three liked it when they were little.

By Y4 the shine had worn off but it was still okay.
By the end of primary it was a chore.
All three loathed high school. And they're all sociable, academic, sporty kids who do well, get good grades, have friends, get picked to do things, and whose teachers like them. Hate hate hate it. Stick on a fake smile every day and count the minutes until the school day is over.

LouBBB · 26/08/2024 19:46

My DC are going back to Y1 and Y4 and both are super excited! They have had a great break and we've tried to balance relaxing with activities etc but IMO 6 weeks is too long and they're both looking forward to getting back to their friends and the structure and routine and learning

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