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Original poster

Do most children love school?

84 replies

Criteria16 · 07/08/2024 13:25

It might seem a very philosophical question, but there is a context, I promise!

We are currently abroad visiting family and friends, in our country of origin (Southern Europe). My 5yo son - who's going to be in Y1 in September - is having a great time but he's also regularly asking to go back to school. He had a fantastic time in Reception, walking in enthusiastically every single day, making great progress and building relationships. During the break his days are filled with fun and relax: days out at theme parks, outdoor swimming pools, parties with friends, playdates, beach breaks, very spoiled by extended family, few to no restrictions in terms of bed/screen time....Really no reason to wanting to end it, but a genuine desire to go back to his school friends, learning and routine I guess.

I commented with my in-laws that I had similar comments from other school friends and family friends of similar age, basically lukewarm reaction to start the holidays (all from neurotypical children in average families, not situations in which life at home is difficult or other issues).

I was telling this being positively surprised and proud, but my in-laws think I am lying and there is no way children WANT to go to school.

Tell me I am right and your children also love school:).

OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 07/08/2024 14:46

I adored school (and had a family legend level tantrum on seeing the PTA in on a Saturday when I wasn’t!). If I had to redo a year of my life it would be one of the two of sixth form.

DS1 (11) also adores school (ASD and loves the routine…despite frustrations with many of his peers he’d rather be there than on holiday).

DS2 (8) is more ambivalent (mainly, as he freely and indignantly admits ‘because they make me work!’).

LoquaciousPineapple · 07/08/2024 14:49

Former teacher, I think most kids like school when they're primary age if they're roughly average achievers or higher. There's no real pressure academically (until SATS of course), they usually spend all day with their mates and the lessons are planned to be fun and gain interest more than drill down into truly difficult skills.

The children I taught who didn't like school were the ones who were either working far below their age expectations or ones who had difficult home lives and/or parents or relatives with very anti-school attitudes.

TizerorFizz · 07/08/2024 15:04

@Criteria16 Everything you are doing on holiday doesn’t require him to use his brain. One of my DDs really missed school so we learnt to add in events and activities that were more stimulating, DD2 was more about fun but some DC need a bit more than theme parks and beaches. Give him a broader menu during the holidays. Some dc need it.

itsgettingweird · 07/08/2024 15:14

He's 5. Most 5yo crave the routine they know and once they are at school it's that.

Just because he's having fun where he is doesn't mean he doesn't crave his usual friendships that are probably easier to navigate.

Maybe some work gives his brain the stimulation it needs.

We all love time off and holiday. But let's face it if we are honest I'm sure most of us would crave the routine of term time too 😂

Hatty65 · 07/08/2024 15:20

I would say it has a lot to do with being an only child. School means he's surrounded by playmates his own age, rather than adults. And for a 5 yo it is mostly 'play' at school.

He'll probably grow less keen as he ages!

Lazytiger · 07/08/2024 15:42

Pre-school, nursery, reception and even yr1 were adored. Only a few comments about it not being fair that yr1 has ‘less play’. Year 2 not so fussed (as even less play) and would happily stay home, given half a chance. Have to be careful to make sick days really boring (no TV) otherwise it’s a struggle to get them back.

NewName24 · 07/08/2024 16:09

LoquaciousPineapple · 07/08/2024 14:49

Former teacher, I think most kids like school when they're primary age if they're roughly average achievers or higher. There's no real pressure academically (until SATS of course), they usually spend all day with their mates and the lessons are planned to be fun and gain interest more than drill down into truly difficult skills.

The children I taught who didn't like school were the ones who were either working far below their age expectations or ones who had difficult home lives and/or parents or relatives with very anti-school attitudes.

I'd agree with this, but also, having taught in some quite challenging areas, I would say that generally, many of the children from chaotic family backgrounds love being in school too. It is safe, warm, you get a hot meal, and importantly it is predictable, with known boundaries and rules. It is their security. Sadly, for some, it is the time when they get some positivity and praise and encouragement.

careerchange456 · 07/08/2024 16:16

Year 1 teacher here

Year 1 doesn't have to be the year that kids hate! It makes me so sad. Lots of schools are changing how they run year 1 at the moment (and some year 2s) to make it much more age appropriate.

Most of my class do enjoy school (most won't admit this as home is obviously more relaxed and 'fun'). My classroom is play based but my academic expectations are high meaning they make amazing academic progress but still have plenty of opportunity every day to play. Play is an amazing way of learning and definitely shouldn't be a dirty word after Reception.

I would say to any parent looking at schools, don't be wowed by their reception. Reception year goes very quickly. For me, see how they run their KS1 because there was no way I wanted my own children's experience of KS1 to be sitting at desks all day. My own DD loves school and every moment of it. My DS does enjoy school and loves learning, but he'd never admit he loves anything other than playing with his friends!

Lindy2 · 07/08/2024 16:18

My 2 enjoyed Primary School. Year 6 was a bit tedious with endless SATs stuff but at least there was fun stuff afterwards.

Unfortunately Secondary School absolutely broke my ASD child.

My neurotypical academic child is OK with Secondary School but sadly the UK education system tends to crush any enjoyment or love of learning out of them the older they get.

Smartiepants79 · 07/08/2024 16:47

Love it? Probably not. Enjoy it while they’re there and have lots of days they look forward to going, yes.

RuthW · 07/08/2024 16:52

My dd loved school except year 1. She just couldn't under they did fun lessons in the morning and had to play all afternoon. By year 2 she was fine again as they did lessons all day!

mondaytosunday · 07/08/2024 17:03

At age five? Yea I think my kids liked (maybe not loved) school. By Y2 though things had changed!
I don't think most kids love school, and even if they did they'd certainly not admit it!

Blackthorne · 07/08/2024 17:27

No it’s shit the older you get the more awful it becomes.

Adrian Chiles recently wrote an article in the Guardian about it. I couldn’t agree more with him.

vivaespana70 · 07/08/2024 19:30

Mine are going into y11 and y13. Both have always liked school. I think I pretty much did as well, and DH.

Fifferfefferfeff · 07/08/2024 19:41

That's so weird. I can't imagine anyone liking school! It's great though if your DC does, as that means they'll be happier in life, generally, with years of school ahead. I'd be really pleased if my DC liked it.

My DC dislikes it because the work isn't often challenging or interesting, when it is, he can't hear/concentrate anyway because of the rowdy behaviour of the other children (and the teacher has to keep stopping to deal with those children), and there are groups of sexist and unpleasant children making comments e.g. his best friend is a girl and that isn't the done thing, so they get teased. Also, boys who aren't into football tend not to fit in anywhere.

This is in an unusually pleasant, very middle class, ofsted outstanding primary, brilliant, caring teachers (can't praise them enough and thankfully DC does like them a lot, so isn't too unhappy), so I'm not sure how secondary will be.

Personally, I'd never like going somewhere I had to go by law, or where I was told what to do (DC is the opposite to me, loves rules and order), or where I was surrounded by annoying, noisy children, so it's my idea of hell. But each to their own.

NewName24 · 07/08/2024 20:00

That's so weird. I can't imagine anyone liking school!

Really ?
You must have a very limited imagination.

I enjoyed school. My dc enjoyed school. Despite that, it is not beyond my imagination (or even experience, just in talking to other parents) to understand that there are people who don't like school.

dylexicdementor11 · 07/08/2024 20:22

Criteria16 · 07/08/2024 13:25

It might seem a very philosophical question, but there is a context, I promise!

We are currently abroad visiting family and friends, in our country of origin (Southern Europe). My 5yo son - who's going to be in Y1 in September - is having a great time but he's also regularly asking to go back to school. He had a fantastic time in Reception, walking in enthusiastically every single day, making great progress and building relationships. During the break his days are filled with fun and relax: days out at theme parks, outdoor swimming pools, parties with friends, playdates, beach breaks, very spoiled by extended family, few to no restrictions in terms of bed/screen time....Really no reason to wanting to end it, but a genuine desire to go back to his school friends, learning and routine I guess.

I commented with my in-laws that I had similar comments from other school friends and family friends of similar age, basically lukewarm reaction to start the holidays (all from neurotypical children in average families, not situations in which life at home is difficult or other issues).

I was telling this being positively surprised and proud, but my in-laws think I am lying and there is no way children WANT to go to school.

Tell me I am right and your children also love school:).

My LO has always really liked school with the exception of one year when their teacher wasn’t very good. However, LO absolutely loves school since we moved them to a lovely family prep.

DH and I both terrible experiences with primary/secondary schools. We have worked hard to find and pay for excellent schools for LO so that has helped.

Fifferfefferfeff · 07/08/2024 20:48

NewName24 · 07/08/2024 20:00

That's so weird. I can't imagine anyone liking school!

Really ?
You must have a very limited imagination.

I enjoyed school. My dc enjoyed school. Despite that, it is not beyond my imagination (or even experience, just in talking to other parents) to understand that there are people who don't like school.

I'm well-known for my imagination, actually. It's just that school is so unpleasant, liking it is one of the harder things to imagine.

Of course I can understand the fact that some people do. I'm not aware of knowing any, myself.

LightFull · 07/08/2024 20:50

I liked primary school and so did DD and DS

Secondary has its ups and downs

Quornflakegirl · 07/08/2024 20:53

My 11 year old twins both love school and always have, both are really excited about starting secondary school in September. I am very thankful that neither have said they don’t want to go to school.

dylexicdementor11 · 07/08/2024 20:53

Fifferfefferfeff · 07/08/2024 19:41

That's so weird. I can't imagine anyone liking school! It's great though if your DC does, as that means they'll be happier in life, generally, with years of school ahead. I'd be really pleased if my DC liked it.

My DC dislikes it because the work isn't often challenging or interesting, when it is, he can't hear/concentrate anyway because of the rowdy behaviour of the other children (and the teacher has to keep stopping to deal with those children), and there are groups of sexist and unpleasant children making comments e.g. his best friend is a girl and that isn't the done thing, so they get teased. Also, boys who aren't into football tend not to fit in anywhere.

This is in an unusually pleasant, very middle class, ofsted outstanding primary, brilliant, caring teachers (can't praise them enough and thankfully DC does like them a lot, so isn't too unhappy), so I'm not sure how secondary will be.

Personally, I'd never like going somewhere I had to go by law, or where I was told what to do (DC is the opposite to me, loves rules and order), or where I was surrounded by annoying, noisy children, so it's my idea of hell. But each to their own.

Your children do not have to go to school, you could home school. So it’s your choice.

blackbirdsinginginthenight · 07/08/2024 20:56

My DS is going into year two, and keeps asking how many more days it will be until he can go, as he enjoys it so much. It's lovely really Grin

Aniseedtwists · 07/08/2024 20:59

Honestly you are so lucky if you have DC that enjoy school. I have plenty of friends with DC that enjoy it. My DD is ND & she hated school & no longer attends. It was heartbreaking how stressed out it made her & what she did to try & avoid it. A lot of this related to the school not accommodating her SEN needs or course. DP loved school, I tolerated it!

Wowzel · 07/08/2024 21:01

My DD loves school too.

Fifferfefferfeff · 07/08/2024 21:46

dylexicdementor11 · 07/08/2024 20:53

Your children do not have to go to school, you could home school. So it’s your choice.

Edited
Show quote history

What does that have to do with it?!

Also, you do have to be very financially secure indeed to take 18 years out of work to home school. Although you can get benefits to do so, not everyone feels that's the best choice. Not everyone has the academic credentials to do so, either.
Personally, unless my DC were suffering, I'd think it best they learn to tolerate it.

I would have preferred home education myself, but my family were abusive (as were teachers at my school, so neither option was ideal. As a compromise, I took as many sick days off as I could to get through it.

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