Can you be a good mum and a good teacher?

[twinkletoesimnot]

'I didn't feel I was a good mum, or a good teacher' www.bbc.com/news/articles/c51yzv95wg9o

I see lots of threads on here asking about retraining as a teacher and if it is compatible with family life.
The above article goes some way to explain it.
I went into teaching quite late (37) when my last child started reception. I am fairly lucky that I am allowed to leave to get her from school once a week during my PPA and that our schools are federated so we have the occasional event or trip together.
However, there is no wrap around care at her small, rural school (not that I could afford to use it!) and my husband has had to swap jobs to ensure more flexibility so that he can do most drop offs and pick ups.
The biggest thing for me is that it is incredibly hard to find a work/life balance.
On an average week I work approx 55 hours and there is always more to do.
I always feel that if I'm doing a good job at school then I've dropped the ball at home and constantly guilty / thinking about work when spending time with my family. In this summer holiday I agreed with my husband that I would not do any work until the last 2 weeks of the holiday.

I cannot imagine being able to do my job effectively with a baby or pre-school age child. I am in awe of those that do.

This really needs to change.

I know that there are other jobs where this will be similar and am not trying to say that teachers are special before the bashing starts, but this is a real problem.

Unless your children's half terms are different to yours!
Teaching is v unflexible during term time - IME no time off for appointments (inc medical) / your own children's sports days /assemblies / nativities () / first days etc

This. I'm just retiring, after a long career, but used to feel I gave all my time and energy to other people's children. My own have really missed out over the years and I do feel I had very little to give by the time I got in from a day at school.

Can you be a good dad and a teacher?

I left teaching when I became pregnant with my first. I returned after my second started in Reception 7 years later.

Financially, it was extremely tight for those 7 years, but I refused to sacrifice my children's childhood to teach other children.

This was in 2003. Nothing has changed.

Move to Ireland. Most of the teachers in my school have young children. Some job share when they are preschool age but they all go back full time.
I stay back one afternoon a week other than that I leave about half an hour after the kids.
Have had a lovely summer with my kids ( and teacher friends). Will go in one day to set up my classroom but they love coming with me and helping.

I teach in Scotland. I have a two year old and I went 0.5 after mat leave. We can take our planning time at home if we wish. DH does nursery drop off so I generally arrive about 7.30/45 then leave no later than 4.30 so I can do nursery pick up. My head has young kids so that helps - she often leaves at the same time as me though she works late in the evenings. I'm lucky in my current school, I know others where the culture is worse. I still dread sickness though and finding last minute childcare. I think Scotland is generally slightly better than England' though it's still far from easy!

That’s terrible. I teach full time with 3 A level classes, 2 GCSE classes and a responsibility in the Dept. Highly academic independent school. I never work evenings and holidays and very little at the weekends or holidays. I am very experienced which helps and my school trusts it’s teachers. I’ve taught 30 years and have been pretty good at keeping work out of family time.

I'm so sorry for your loss 😔

No I couldn’t. Before I had kids I did so much work outside of work - I’d spend all Sunday planning, so much of my holidays planning, writing reports, going in to prep classroom. I just couldn’t do that full time with two children. I also didn’t want to do the parents evenings/plays/discos where you are expected to be at school late anymore. When I’m at home I want to be with my children and not worrying/stressed I had work to do. I went down to two days. I still spend a few hours a week outside of work prepping but it’s manageable.

Excellent question. Think this is bigger than just a teaching problem and a wider societal issue.

As I said, I can do both due in large part to my supportive husband and school.

My best friend is not a teacher but struggles with childcare etc mainly due to her dh not pulling his weight.

I used to plan all day Sunday too in my first few years but not once I had kids. There's a phrase/law about the task filling the time you have to do it in which definitely applies to me! And now I've been doing it 20 years planning is much quicker anyway.

I definitely couldn't. I work three days a week which is just about doable. I don't think I'll ever work full time again because I feel like I'd just miss so much of DS's life.

True but other jobs have more flexibility. If your child has a Christmas play or sports day, as a teacher you can't book that time off. I have friends you work in corporate and can work 2 days from home so they can drop off and pick up kids from school... teachers can't do that. Teachers do work during the holidays and all these holidays are unpaid. And any family vacations cost and arm and a leg during the holidays too. Teaching has many perks but it is not as family friendly as people think. If someone hasn't been a teacher they won't understand. I have met many many people who thought teaching was easy joined the profession from corporate and quickly found out why teachers moan so much.

I always remember the philosophy “Every child matters” being turned into “Every child matters …. Except your own”
Enough said!

I have managed it. I taught for 15 years full time before getting married and having DC. I moved to an 'easier' school before pregnancy. I returned part-time after mat leave (12 months plus one month accrued AL).

The downside has been having to be RCCT teacher rather than a class teacher because I was part-time.

I would never advise anyone to try becoming a teacher who already has a family.