Driving 45mins to school

[Lechatquiveille]

We live in a very rural area and have the choice of a fairly good state school 15 mins drive away or a very good private school 45mins away. (We live abroad, so 'private' is not the same as in the uk, not as expensive or exclusive). Would you drive 45 mins - each way - for a better school? It does offer boarding but I don't think 11 year old DC is ready for boarding yet. There is a train that would reduce the distance by half, but he'd have to wait half an hour for the train. The school days are long (8am to 4.30 or 5pm). Are there any parents out there who drive this far, and how do you find it? I know many of you wouldn't drive your child this far, but I'm really looking for responses from those that do! I could split the drives with my husband. I should add the roads are quiet so it would be an easy drive, just a dull one.

I've done that sort of drive it's doable.

What I will say is consider your child's friendships. Will you facilitate them by doing that sort of drive for social stuff at weekends etc? What if the friends live an equal distance in the opposite direction? Long days mean you don't get much time in the evenings and will have a tired child.

Personally if there was a good local school my child could thrive at I would go local and get an extra tutor if needed. But I always struggle making friends and so do my kids so depends on your child's personality

My daughter has a long journey to school but it’s on a bus. I was worried at first as she has to be in the bus by 7 and doesn’t get back until 530 but it was absolutely worth it. She actually quite likes it as she treats it as her downtime to listen to music.
if I were in your situation I would definitely send to the private but I’d probably split the week so some days you’re driving and some days he’s getting the train

What would you do if you became ill and couldn't drive? Or if your car broke down?
Mine has had a daily trip of anything between 45 - 60 mins each way but on a school bus. I have done pickups like during exams and I can confidently say there no way I could have driven it 4 times a day, 5 days a week. Its a huge commitment and will take up so much of your time. You will start resenting the drive.
Maybe you could do it for a year and then board weekly.
My other child went to a local school and it was so much easier. After school clubs, forgotten PE kit, concerts, sports clubs etc. Plus the easy access to friends, the importance of this can't be overlooked. Many parents will not be willing to drop their child off at yours when it's so far away. They could live another 45 mins away from the school in the opposite direction.
Going to school in your own area also gives you a great connection with other locals and community.

After living both options,
I would definitely choose the more local school and get some good online tutoring with the petrol money you will save.

I would go for the school 15 minutes away

So 3 hours a day of driving? That is a heck of a commitment. I did about 2 hours a day for 3 years and it was tough but doable for a better school.

But if there was an alternative (like the train) that would be a much better option. Your child having a 30 min wait is no different to them being in the car for 30 mins, and a much better use of your time.

Your child won't be 11 for long. As kids get older they organise their own social lives. The advantages of a local school should not be underestimated! I would not choose the more distant school for this reason

DS’ friend is going to a private school in sept for year 7. His parents will have to drive him at least half an hour to catch a bus at 7.30 that then takes a further half hour. His school day finishes at half 5. I imagine he’ll have a brilliant education but is likely to be knackered.

I wouldn’t commit to such a car journey. Do you need to get to work too? I think local schools (if they’re any good) are so much better for kids when making friends as it’s easy for them to meet up and organise their own social lives as they get older

If it's a 45 minute journey it won't be in those times, I'd get them to get the train. I don't think half an hour is long to wait.

I would go for the nearer state school as you say it's still good... Mainly because I don't think my children could have dealt with the journey to the further away one when they'd have to arrive at 8am. Getting into the teen years, it was bad enough getting them out of bed and to the local school 20 mins walk away. But that is just my experience, I know there are children who can get up early!

thank you for all of your responses! It has helped to hear other people’s opinions and experiences. I think we are almost there in a decision, and we are leaning heavily towards the school which is 45 minutes away. I’m not working, but I know it will still be a slog even if I only do one there-and-back a day. However, the school is the best one in the wider area. It’s very supportive of the children, the teachers don’t go on strike, and I feel that my son would do really well there. Teacher absences are a problem here in the state schools, especially in the rural areas. DS is bright but needs a bit of a push, which the private school will give him, whereas at the state school I fear he will just coast. The school does have the option to weekly board which we could look at for the following year, though I’m not ready to be without him just yet! And yes there is the train option once he’s settled. Our school holidays are very long, so that should help too! Anyway not 100% decided yet but getting there…

Ps I should add that we have to drive everywhere because of our location, our main supermarket is a 20 minute drive, the GP is 15 mins, any specialist doctors or orthodontist are 45mins -1h15 away, the best town with ‘entertainment’ is 50 mins, so we are used to driving a lot. No bad traffic to deal with either!

DS's specialist school is a 50 minute drive away. Before the summer there was an issue for a month with her school transport so had to be driven. It's a long day.

It makes making plans hard because, even when there's normally no traffic, you need to allow a bit of time in case there is.

We also live rurally so if I'm meeting friends it's generally 30 mins in the other direction in the nearest big town. Dropping off at 9, getting back at 10, meeting a friend for lunch at 11.30 and having to leave before 2 just makes a day very hectic.

It's not something I'd want to commit to long term unless there was really really no other option.

I think 45 mins each way is absolutely fine for the child but 3 hours driving each day for you is too much it’s a hell of a lot of your week

Plenty of people commute for that length of time but the difference is that you'll be doing it within a much shorter frame, too short to have eight hours in between, too short to do anything of note in between. Before you know it you'll be seven years older and will have spent most of those seven years driving up and down the same road with not much to show for it other than a child who has gone to school.

We do it and it is fine. I combine it with my gym session and I don’t find it a problem. It’s actually a little longer for me due to traffic. She will be going to a closer sixth form when the time comes though.

I've been driving an hour one way for five years - it's doable, but exhausting in the long run. I've learnt a lot listening to lectures though 😂

Long school days combined with long commute leave very little time for homework and extra curricular activities.

You have to consider rehearsals, concerts, matches, clubs,detentions, coming home sick, meeting friends after school, you being sick, car breaking down.....

Go for the nearer school.