How long is too long a journey to school?

[Rmk32]

Hello,

My partner and I have lived abroad for over a decade but have come back to Great Malvern in the UK for long stints in recent years and we’ve fallen in love with the place, made friends and found a community. We walk on the Malvern hills almost daily and my husband and I use it as a valuable opportunity to reconnect.

We have three young children and would like to send them to a particular independent school. Unfortunately it’s about 45 - 50 minutes drive away from Malvern. So the dilemma: do we move closer to the school and start to build a new life there (tiring and daunting) or find a way to stay in this area and do the daily long commute?

Very grateful for your thoughts!

Why such an appeal to the particular independent school ?
I know people who have done similar school runs
I personally wouldn't

OK I don't know Great Malvern but I have heard of the Malvern Hills.

So first question. What is the weather like in winter? Will the journey increase to 1.5 hours?

How will the children get to school? Is there a school bus? Will you be driving them? Will you still be in a position to drive them in2 or 4 or 1- years (I don't know if this is primary or all through).

Do the children have friends where you are?

When I started school I had to get a bus to a near by town so friendships with other children on the street were harder to have and maintain. I was bussed to the RC school.So by the time I got home the other kids had already played out and been called in for their tea.

Do the children travel well? I mean are they happy to sit in a car for an hour without moaning, needing a wee or being ill?

It's not just the 45-50 min drive to school, it's the return journey for you that you need to think about.
I do a c.1hr round trip twice a day for the school run if I'm WFH (longer when I have to drive into my office a few times a week). I could put the DC on the school bus but that is a ridiculously early start and an hour 20+ each way on the bus, plus it costs £850 per term.
I will do it as it was the perfect school but I would urge you to think about your ability to drive for that long over 7 years or whatever. It really does drain you.

We moved area when one of our dc was in Y6, so for one year travelled 30 minutes to school for him rather than move him so late.

It was a frigging nightmare. Two hours of driving every single day for either me or dh, more when there were roadworks or something. We hated it. He hated it.

I can't imagine signing up to do that for X years, never mind potentially increasing it to 50 minutes one way, so more like 3.5 hours of driving every day.

I would decide which is more important to you, the school or where you move but I'd never do that commute. Also think very careful about secondary school - it would be sickening to do that commute for X years only to find you really did have to move anyway!

I did a similar journey to school from 11, by a combination of train, bus and walking. It wasn't great, plus it was really difficult to meet up.with friends after school or at weekends.

What is the public transport like, or is there a dedicated school bus? When i was halfway through secondary school the train timetable changed, so there was a 90 minute wait after school before I could get a train home rather than 30 minutes. that made a massive impact.

move or find another school. At some point this will become ludicrous - eg you have all 3 of your kids at the school, you drive there and back (2h) then one of them vomits at lunch and you have to drive and collect (2h) then you have to return and collect one at end of school (2h) then the third one has a sports match after a school so what do you do? Leave the sick one vomiting at home while you sit in a car for two hours with dcw waiting for the third one to finish his club?

I wouldn't commit to this journey time personally. Your children would never be to able to do after school play dates or school clubs. What do you do if one of your three children want to do something, you cant go home and come back? Even parties at the weekend would be a big pain to accommodate. All of these social aspects of school life are very important. As someone who had a long commute for secondary I hated it. Not because of travel time but because of everything I missed out on socially. Plus of course 4 hours travel daily for someone! In my view you need to pick; either the area you love or the school?

That length of commute outweighs some of the benefits of the independent school you've chosen? They're going to be losing a large proportion of their day travelling when they could be doing other things eg socialising - all of which are important enriching experiences outside of school. You're also going to be losing a huge amount of time over x5 days every week if you're dropping them off.

We do a 40 minute commute to school. It’s not ideal but it has specialist support for my ds. You get used to the driving. The school is also very set up for kids that live a long way away. And a lot of them do - always half an hour in the other direction though!!!

We have to do this though as moving isn’t an option for us. I’m pretty sure if we could move I would just for the environmental facto alone!

That's too long! I put my son into a school with a 45min commute each way and it was too much, we ended up moving to a closer school - 15 min walk.
Also you miss out on play dates, or events happening at the school.

I'd split the distance. You will still be close to your walking spots, but closer to the school

I drive my foster son to college 1 hour drive away every morning then an hour back home, then collect him afternoon another hour to get there and another hour back home. I have done this for 2 years. I have 1 more year to go. It just becomes routine. It's annoying if there is an accident and it takes longer but it can't be helped.

C 18 years of a 45 minute commute to school. No thank you!!

Would one of you be driving them and picking them up every day? If so, that's 3.5-4 hours in total on the school run every single day! I'd choose a different school.

I've just finished two years of doing a 20 minute drive to DD college. Traffic meant it was over 1 hour per journey. I'd thoroughly had enough of it quite quickly.

I did that to get to school (as did all the children in my and surrounding villages) on public transport (it would have taken 20 mins if my parents could drive me) - it made it a long day - out before 8, back by about 4:30 at 11 is a lot - especially in Winter.

I currently do 1hr (round trip - a little longer when traffic) to get my kids to school, and since they're at primary and secondary so have different pickups, that's 3+ hours a day (have to arrive a bit early to park up and walk down to get the primary child, Secondary child isn't always on time getting out)

It's a lot. I have another 8 years of this, and it's a lot. But in my circumstances, it's a sacrifice I am making for them, as they've already had enough change in their lives.

Sounds bonkers to me.

It depends on so many factors!

Where do other local children go? If there’s a school bus, that can be fun for socialising. School buses can be surprisingly expensive though.

If you will have to drive them every day, that is a massive commitment, even if you work near the school it still constrains you. I would think very seriously about that.
I wouldn’t personally sign up for a school my child couldn’t get too independently (even if they are too young to actually go independently now)

If it’s a school that has a big geographical catchment, Sod’s Law says your child will make friends with someone who lives just as far away in the other direction, and you will spend your weekends driving there .

If you live rurally and everyone travels for school anyway, that’s a bit different to if everyone else goes to the same local primary on foot, and only you end up not being part of that social group. Even then, are there other opportunities for socialising close to home? Things like cubs/brownies, sports clubs etc?

Wow I think that's a VERY long commute to a school
Not something I'd do

IME completely fine as long as they are on a school bus and not being driven by you!

Absolutely not out of Malvern. I'd choose one of the many great indies in and around Malvern

But then the likelihood is it would take longer wouldn't it cos OP's talking about if she drives and buses go round the houses

Are they special needs?
I would do it for kids that really needed a particular school
I would maybe do it for a better school if they struggled academically.
If they were normal bright kids that would thrive in any school then I wouldn't.

Is that 45-50 minutes drive at 7am on a wet Wednesday in February, or at 11am on a sunny Thursday in July?

Be realistic about how long the drive is and what that means for your day. Four hours driving a day, plus the inevitable juggling of three different pre-/after-school activity schedules.

If there's a bus it's different.

And?

I did just over an hour each way on buses for A-levels, and the buses were loaded with kids of all secondary school ages. It's not doubled-up time eating into her day running there and back. It depends how young her young children are.