State or private if you were us

[WilliamsHill]

Approx £10k per month combined post tax income
No mortgage (but not huge savings due to paying off mortgage)
One child in year 3
Central London

Choice between

1. Outstanding local state secondary school which is single sex. Within walking distance. Primary friends likely to go there.
2. Excellent single sex independent school. Within walking distance. One friend possibly going there. School is through to 18. Approx £30k PA plus the threat of VAT.

We could move child to the independent Sept 2025 (assuming passes assessment) or stick with the state primary and secondary option.

Independant option obviously comes with all the usual benefits - extracurriculars, smaller classes etc etc. Both options get incredible GCSE and A Level results - well above state average.

What would you do?

Honestly, and we've done both private and state, I'd go state and save money for travel, enrichment and uni/flat deposit.

She could pay the fees and still buy the daughter that kind of house, they have no mortgage

State school. Nice holidays.

Kids only have one childhood and one education. I’d say throw money at it. If she’s successful she’ll earn multiples of that in her own career and get together her own house deposit.

It’s not true, no.

Um, tricky.
The first thing you need to do is look at the schools one of them may just feel right. Look at the kids and think if they look like the sort of children your dd would be friends with.
I wouldn’t take to much notice of the results- they are the average for the cohort and not really an indicator of what your child will get.
look at the subjects offered at A level.
look at the range of extracurriculars - medvet, debating. Are they the sort of school that enter lots of competitions? IME competitions are great for dcs - it wasn’t something we thought about at the time but they have been brilliant (fun annd useful) experiences.
I’d probably go private if I could afford it.

Absolute nonsense about children at private schools not learning about resilience or diversity btw! There will
be plenty of diversity in terms of background, race, sexuality etc. There will probably be less diversity in terms of poor behaviour, but I don’t see this as a disadvantage personally! When your dc is older Saturday jobs etc will mean that they get used to working with a range of backgrounds.

In your situation I would go state and just organise the extracurricular activities outside school. We are in a similar predicament and will most likely go state but we have another year or so to decide.

My family had similar income. There will be kids on full scholarships so she won't be the poorest but I was certainly aware of the wealth disparity while the wealthiest kids won't be aware if that makes sense. It doesn't mean they or their parents are arrogant, far from it, I met some lovely welcoming families who embraced me, but there were also some really vacuous bitchy judgmental kids too, which I found hard as the others didn't see it in the way I did.

Bullying basically, I needed counselling, but arguably this can happen anywhere. Positives - extra curricular activities (but these can be paid for i.e. clubs and tutoring), small class sizes which made it quite quiet.

Private school does not guarantee a place at a top uni and a top job. It depends on your child's motivations and interests.

Another option is to consider private for 6th form.

Private. Have you visited yet? They might have much smaller class sizes (very likely) and most children profit enormously from that. I live jn an area with an outstanding state secondary and two very good private schools and the extracurricular offering from the private schools is amazing. We are prepping for 11+ but if you can avoid that would be better.

The private schools in my area are more diverse in terms of ethnicity, nationality and race than the state schools.

Having gone through the system with two dcs that are very different in academic aptitude and attitude, I would say that state worked to their advantage in many different ways. Both thrived at a good comprehensive where they mixed with a huge variety of kids from different backgrounds. Socially, they are two of the brightest, most confident young people you could hope to meet. Admittedly, these advantages have been largely built through the ways in which we have brought them up, and they had Saturday jobs from the age of 14, which have certainly helped them, but there is something about the adaptability that kids must learn in a state environment that I don’t think they have to work on so hard in a private one. My own experience of private was that most of the kids if not all were cast from the same mold so there was less tolerance it seemed for true individuality. I felt I was much more ‘myself’ when my parents moved me to state later on.
Dd1 is at a RG uni, mixing with kids both private and state. She seems to have fallen in with a crowd of mostly private - says you really can’t tell the difference.
Dd2 would have been absolutely miserable in a hothouse environment so think carefully about the fact these schools which generate great results are not for everyone. She’s doing a post-18 apprenticeship and I’ve no doubt she will be just fine.

It would have been a waste of money to have sent either of them private and I’m pleased we used the saved money to pay off our mortgage and give them better holidays and experiences (and of course, extra tutoring during exam years).

I would go state. My ds (privately educated since 3) is looking at unis and at his favourite one his grade offer would be one grade lower across all three A levels if we’d sent him to the local comprehensive due to this uni’s increasing access policy which targets our local comp (among hundreds of other comps across the country). he’s also been unable to access open days for his highly specialist subject interest as they are open to state school pupils only.

We could have sent him to local sports and music extra curricular clubs saved hundreds of thousands of pounds.

It’s not all about how much money you’ve got. Look long & hard at both schools. Think about your own background & expectations. Private schools can diverge from State practices& parental expectations in many ways. Be sure that you are comfortable with this one.

State and pay her through Uni/give her a house deposit.

@Pipsquiggle

All the same, I wouldn't risk it. Life for kids today is going to be tough and complicated, they need to be prepared.

@WilliamsHill I don't really get the whole private school or house deposit rationale. You're not comparing like with like. We're moving my DS to a private school because he has dyslexia and is struggling in a very disruptive class. I could keep him in state and save the money for a house deposit instead but how is that helping him now at that age of 10 to learn how to read? You need to look at education and property as two different things else it'll cloud your decision. We don't have an outstanding state secondary near us which is also the difference.

Option 1. Going to a good local school with friends sounds ideal.

Private, given your income and wealth, it’s important to support the state by paying VAT, rather than relying on state resources and adding strain to the public education system.

Bridget

With those state results, I'd go state.

They are fully comprehensive and add that much value? It's a no brainer. The teaching there will be state-of-the-art.

I never understand why people are so excited by the results at selective schools - they literally select the ones who will do well.

We support the state by paying a huge amount of income tax so my decision won’t be based on what’s best for the tax man.

That is the same sentiment of most working parents who send their kids to private school too.

The old question of ‘is it really worth £30k a year’
A really difficult question, which you’ll probably never know the answer.
Have you visited both secondary schools? As you can afford either option, I would base your decision on gut feel after visiting. In my opinion, no school is ‘worth’ £30k a year if you just make the decision with your head.

Another thought… presumably the state school, though academically non-selective, is selective based on where you live - expensive central London. Without knowing the schools, I’d be tempted to stick with state if you like it when you look around. It sounds like you’re lucky enough to have a state school which is essentially private in all but name/fees.

In terms of looking at exam results, I agree with PP that you should examine the Progress 8 scores for the state school based on prior attainment. Also consider how large the schools are and the extent to which they use setting. The top set in a school with 180 pupils may have very different results to school's overall average.

As for extracurriculars, how serious is your DC? For music, for example, they can try for the Saturday programs at the Royal Academy of Music or Guildhall juniors and they will be much more advanced than at a normal private school because everyone in those programs is committing at least 5 hours a week in primary and at least 8 hours a week in secondary.

I'm fairly sure the OP already pays a huge amount of tax with the income she has. Unsure why you think this not only puts her in a position to not use the state school place she pays for but also pay additional VAT on top?