Would you move dyslexic child to prep for year 6?

[Bubbean]

I have a DS10 (Year 5) who is at a lovely village primary. He is mildly dyslexic and struggles with maths but very bright and creative. We really feel that the very academic local comprehensive (though extremely popular and oversubscribed) would not be a good fit for him. We found a wonderful nurturing independent school about 30 minutes away that is non selective. Getting slightly ahead of ourselves we went to look round at an open day… we loved it, as did my son but he is adamant he is going to the local state with his small but tight friendship group.

He went on a couple of taster days at the independent and they loved him (he had a fantastic time but wouldn’t admit it!) They have now offered him a place for this coming September… to enter in year 6 in preparation for senior! I can see how he would flourish there and be far more supported (They have many children with SEN and are renowned for helping them thrive) His current primary though lovely are having to quite drastically increase class sizes to well over 30…. And I honestly worry for the stress on that poor teacher!

For context I also have a much younger daughter at the village primary who has more significant SEN and may hopefully (but unlikely) get a place at ERP in our town (other direction to the independent) If she doesn’t get this then the independent may work for her too…

Im concerned how my sensitive, friend dependent boy will respond to a sudden switch to a different school but long term it may be the wise decision as I know friendships do alter anyway especially when moving to secondary. His besties are round the corner here, so he could still see them.
I may have answered my own question here by typing out my thoughts, but any experiences or kind comments welcome 😉

I couldn’t quite tell from your post, but I’m guessing this prep school has an attached senior school? Presumably they would love to have him for Y7 as well and that is a much more normal time for him to enter and also when all of his friends will be off to other secondary schools. He will miss out on all the lovely Y6 events at his primary school if he moves now, which would be a shame. Y6 is a great year (SATs aside), so if you can keep him there another year I would.

I think it would depend on how his primary approaches SATs. My DD1 hated the SATs focus in year 6 and this is part of why we are moving DD2 to independent earlier. Our state primary school would deny that they are SATs focused, but the teacher yelling at the class that they'd all fail told quite a different story. It took DD1 about 18 months to chill out about tests after that experience.

I’d really question why they rejected him in the first place. Has lots of people moved schools or are they protecting their cash flow as the majority will leave. Is there 11 plus to enter the senior school? If he doesn’t pass will he be rejected (honestly independents don’t care don’t pass the grade good bye)

11 plus is absolutely no fun. The majority of children’s / parents tutor. Pressure wise for children it’s high. There is a HUGE gap academically between the state and private so he will probably have to work hard to get to the same level.

Also, with Sen it probably lots more hrs daily. More demands, more transitions to lessons. They look good but be careful.

Plus if he needs additional help - that will cost you as parents.

id tread very carefully moving to this private school that has already rejected him ….

Never move a happy child unless you have to

@Unfortunatelyagain where are you getting that they’ve rejected him?

Oh yeah ignore that sorry - it was the boy that rejected it

how can you be so sure the comp won’t suit him? My best advice is never send a child to a school they really don’t want to go to if there is a highly suitable alternative ; this is heightened as you want to pay fees and he wants the opposite.

does the private school have a year 9 intake? I might be inclined to stick to the state options and then if yr 7 and 8 go as badly as predicted then move at yr 9 with tutoring support lined up in advance.

to state the bleeding obvious please look at school fees, factor in a 5 per cent increase every year and then add another 20% on top. My dc are now well in the system but had our time again I would move into a grammar postcode and pay for tutors.

If it's non selective and you pay to go there wouldn't they pretty much love anyone who was prepared to pay?

I would wait until there's a problem before looking at moving him. I definitely wouldn't make him miss Yr6 with all his friends and if he wants to go to secondary with them then I'd let him go.

With the money you save on school fees perhaps get some maths tutoring and dyslexia tutoring. I've read that 60% of people with dyslexia struggle with maths - keep the possibility of dyscalculia in mind as well.

Thank you for your replies. Just to answer a few questions. It goes from Yr R to Yr 13. There is no entrance exam at any point but they do ‘assess’ where they are at on the taster days. I got the impression they were looking at his work ethic, behaviour and how he got on with the others in the class. He had a wonderful time and was full of excitement about the lessons and teachers but will not say ‘I want to go there’. They do year 6 Sats as the prep but I know the village school he is at will have a class of 34. The teacher is not particularly nurturing…. And they do put on a lot of pressure for SAts as I’ve heard from other parents… They have not put a lot in place to support his needs.
I agree using the money for tutoring is an option… I think it’s the nurturing nature of this particular prep school that I think would be very good for my son.
However … I do feel sad for him not getting his year 6 with his friends… but it could be a really tough and potentially damaging year 6 for him if he stays put… Gah!! 😩

Moving your son to the independent school now could provide the nurturing environment and support he needs to thrive, and he can still maintain his friendships.

Thanks for your reply. I think I probably didn’t go into much detail in my original post. Hes happy with his 2 best friends but otherwise he’s been unhappy with the work, … they have not implemented anything advised from his dyslexia assessment from 18months ago. They’ve had a lot of instability with staff too…. So it’s his friends that keep him going. It is a lovely school in many ways but lots of things not ideal for my son… he’s not thriving shall we say.

As others have suggested, I’d use the money that would go towards fees and try to find a tutor for him for Y6, which should hopefully help his confidence and might give him tools to better handle the curriculum and SATs. You can then decide after that if you think he should go to the independent school or at least try the state secondary. It sounds like the independent would be happy to have him any time (assuming not full?) so you always have the option of moving him mid-year if it’s really going badly.

If he's adamant about not wanting to move, I wouldn't push him as there's no guarantee the independent will be a great fit either. With 34 children already in his class (which is a lot!) I don't think he would necessarily have the option to go back to the state primary once he leaves.

We've been through a similar decision making process. My dyslexic DS is joining an independent school to start year 6 in September. He's actually had a settling in day today and loved it. For us it was an easy decision because he was so keen to go though. He has a nice friendship group in his current primary, but they live locally and we are in contact with the parents so I think he will manage to stay in touch if he wants to. One of his closest friends is also planning a move for year 6 and they're likely to head off to a mix of secondaries so to base a decision based solely on current friendship groups for us would not have made sense. We moved my daughter into a new school for the start of year 6 too (again she was really keen to go). She's still in touch with her old friends and sees them regularly so she now has a school crowd and a former school crowd. Obviously you need to do what is right for you and your son, but it seems to be working for us 😀.