How unusual is this?

[Helloworld56]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd1ddegp8zvo

Are there far more families now who are struggling to bring up their children? I find it hard to believe that these problems are as widespread as the article implies.

I read this with considerable concern too.

I have friends who teach FS and year 1 and while there are some issues, I do think this sounds like an extreme case. Still tho, if it’s only this one school (and I am sure there are more) it’s very concerning.

screens

and parents who will not listen when told NO, they are not educational, NO your child is not learning from them, and NO they will not develop normally if you continuously plug them in.

Yesterday in a local shopping centre I lost count of the babies I saw watching screens, rather than interacting with the world. Babies of less than 18 months, one of less than 6 months, too small to even hold the screen, mum was holding it in front of them.

Austerity followed by lockdown has caused massive social issues. New parents cut off from all the social support and professional support that people need to learn how to parent well or to be supported with problems.

Some areas where circumstances were already more challenging will be more deeply affected. As is the case with the example school you linked.

This isn't about individual parents making "bad" decisions, this is about widespread social harm that was inflicted on the population by government and its consequences are now manifesting.

I find it hard to believe that these problems are as widespread as the article implies.

Have you ever had any meaningful exposure to communities like the one served by that school? Because I have and I know how challenging it was for people living in those communities even before the catastrophe of all their social and professional support being obliterated by austerity and lockdowns.

I find it very easy to believe because I have seen it and I have my eyes open about social issues.

It's not unusual at all. I work in early years and since Covid times in particular children's behaviour and development has massively changed. We are seeing far more difficulties with speech and language, listening, attention, motor skills and self care than ever before. Children are finding it harder to self regulate and to manage their feelings and behaviours at an age where you would expect this to be beginning to emerge.

People are less connected to each other and more connected to our screens. Many of our parents have no knowledge of typical child development or milestones and we are expected to introduce government funded apps and programmes to teach them things like how to play peek a boo and how to read to their children. Many of our preschool children are not toilet trained and their parents don't know where to start. Or their child will say no and they'll leave it at that.

Sen is on the rise - better early identification + understanding. But we are seeing a lot of parents concerned about potential Sen when describing what seems to be typical preschool/toddler behaviour too. I would never write this off as we don't know how children present at home, but when unpicking it will often be linked to behaviours related to something watched on YouTube or non age appropriate games.

Parents are busy, they work and/or have other caring commitments but overall perhaps we are less connected to what our children need. I blame screens above all, but I also see a big loss of connectivity between people post Covid. There's less opportunities to learn from each other in real life. I am feeling it as a parent and I've had lots of training and experience over the last 2 decades. My youngest has been on a screen most of the morning! I also blame the current culture of seemingly parenting without boundaries. We are very child led these days - which is brilliant, but this doesn't mean just doing what the child wants, we need to think about what they need too.

Interesting article. I live in Telford, and my kids attend a nursery and a primary school in the town too. Certainly among DS's school cohort there are children facing substantial challenges, and the school is doing its best to meet them with the usual limited funds and minimal support. This academic year Ds's primary set up a dedicated SEN provision facility, which it extends to other local schools as well. Every morning we see the battle parents go through to get kids into school. And that rubs off to an extent on the other kids. (I'm not for a minute suggesting that this is the kids fault or their parents either) Ds sees his friends getting anxious and upset about going into school, and he gets anxious and upset too, even though on the whole he manages school well. He just sees other kids getting upset and thinks there is something to be upset about.

From a parenting perspective DH and I both work full time, we have to, and so the time we have available for reading, homework, etc is limited. I have a constant guilt that we're not doing enough, the kids don't do any clubs after school, we read and do the basic homework, but there's never time for anything more. I'd like to provide more support to the school, get involved with the pta etc, but there never seems to be enough time.

Among my Dds nursery group (3-4 yo) there are several kids in nappies still. She starts school in September and the school has provided info on school readiness skills, emphasising personal and social skills like toileting, dressing, communication etc.

So yes, from my experience this article is reasonably realistic of the experience schools are having at the moment. Not sure if it's the case country wide, but certainly its reasonable for telford, sadly.

I posted in haste before
Yes I meant to say that I think this is a massive overhang from Covid - when, if you had a baby or small child, all toddler groups and the like were closed, suddenly any means of contact with other parents was gone.

I can't be the only person who was very grateful for casual convos at toddler group about weaning and potty training and "are they walking yet", or the support from drop-in sessions with the health visitor. Those communities were a lifeline for me and I am sure many others in what can be an isolating time.

I think issues as described in the article are to some extent a result of all of that - people just do not know how to parent. It's terribly sad and worrying. I'm absolutely not blaming parents but it is an issue that really should be addressed. As usual, money (for things like SureStart centres for example) is needed.

No, I haven't. I retired from teaching about 30 years ago, and although I taught upper juniors, the reception teachers never mentioned anything like this. As I recall, the reception children were learning colours, counting, reading etc.

I’m a KS1 teacher-in the last couple of years, there has definitely been an increase in children still in nappies/pull ups when they are in EYFS/Y1. My mum was horrified and said they should not be accepted, but obviously schools do not have the option to refuse. Some have significant SEND and should be in special schools, but there are no places, but others are not yet toilet trained. This is certainly the case at my school but others locally report the same issues.

I can well believe it. We’re in an affluent area and i’ve got one in y3 and one in reception. The older one’s class has significant additional needs, lots of socio-behavioural issues and not enough sen funding- suspect quite a big handover from Covid . Quite a few were certainly still in nappies in year 1 as my daughter asked me why they were. if you added in significant deprivation then I could see how you’d get to the Telford example.

Interestingly though my youngest’s reception class feel-like there is much less need- although I think it only really became obvious in y1 just how challenging my eldest’s class is but I don’t think that cohort was affected by covid nearly as much as the older ones.

I work in a school, was previously in another school and govern at a third school. (I have 3 kids - 2 of which went to another primary) - this article is 100% accurate.
Children still learn to count, their colours etc in EYFS/reception. Teachers and school staff also have to deal with ever increasing SEN needs, increasing MH needs of children and families, EBSA - emotionally based school avoidance.
The push on attendance. An increase in parental complaints (see some of Amanda Speilmans articles detailing the what and why they are putting a massive strain on schools).
Schools are being made to hold accountability for many things that weren't their responsibility many years ago. The amount of social issues out HT's deal with is emmense. And they got into the job to educate children....there is often little time left for this aspect of the role.

There are a lot of parents simply not bothering to parent. It is nothing to do with finances, or culture. I had to speak to a whole class of 13 years olds about covering their mouth when they cough a few days ago- literally 10 years after the age parents should have taught them to

Sure start centres closed. 15 years ago when mine were little they were busy hives of local support. Health visitors, support groups, cooking classes, baby groups. You got to meet other new parents & not be isolated. They were free on the whole. I met loads other mums via mine. You could ask advise. It's all gone now.

This. I learned to parent from my local Sure Start centre. I also met a bunch of other parents who were a valuable source of support and information. All those resources are now gone.
Children are the future of this country. I despair at what the long-term consequences will be for the generation blighted by austerity and Covid. What will happen when these children grow up and (try to) enter the workforce? When they become parents themselves?

So these children whose parents aren't parenting well have no chance when they have their own

I saw this and was relieved someone had highlighted it.

I run a playgroup. A leave your child one to prepare for nursery, for two year olds.

I have zero toilet trained, the nursery has four out of twenty. My first was toilet trained by 3, my second was not.

There is a wide variety of incomes. We have nanny's bringing children, parents working, not involved in that aspect. To very significant learning difficulties and us providing support for diagnosis.

We have parents with no education saying they will home educate after playgroup because they don't like the system, terrifying.

We have wonderful children with multiple needs and backgrounds and it's really hard going. We love it, but every day is a challenge.

We have one family who do not wish any medical intervention under ANY circumstances.

We have one who cannot drink tap water or brush teeth due to chemicals.

We have one who cannot be exposed to anything others might eat. So no visits from lambs etc.

We have allergies to manage.

We have the standard of child turning up dressed for a party and parents cross outfit was ruined, to child turning up filthy and smelling of cannabis and needing external referal.

That's a snap shot from a tiny place in a rural area.

So I have no doubt schools and nurseries are facing this wide scale across the country.

What we do? I don't have the answers. I just do what I can and focus on the children in my care until I can't anymore.

Thanks @hjlm for what you and so many others, from nursery and playgroup staff to infant school staff, do and continue to do to support this country's children. I sense that this role is harder now than it has ever been

@hjlm fascinating Thankyou. I'm sure there is a tendency to assume it's just very deprived areas but I think not. Agree that the number home schooled now is scary unless all are actually teaching their children as opposed to just opting out of the system. I know a lovely family HomeEd but the child age 11 doesn't seem to do much actual education ie English & maths

It is very common. Normal at the moment in many, many areas.

The issue with so many policy decision taken is that the people who make the decisions seem to think this is an unusual school, or in some way exaggerated.
Now, fair enough if any individual hasn't come across communities like this, but I do wish politicians and senior civil servants would listen to (in this case it is education, so) HTs, Nursery owners, LA staff, and teaching Union leaders who do have the knowledge on the ground and could inform them of what is actually happening up and down the country.

Primary teacher here and unfortunately yes it's common. We are a smaller school and usually have 2/3 not toilet trained. Our biggest problem is speaking-so many are struggling to put words together to make up a sentence that make sense. Also actually saying sounds using their mouths to create the correct sound is massive!

@EMary12345 absolutely 💯

I have two non verbal, autism.

I have four non verbal, no diagnosis. One I'm fairly confident selective mutism. Three I'm really not sure.