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Education

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Pre school -possible manipulation

5 replies

Babybrain26 · 06/06/2024 18:09

My son is awaiting asd assessment but has been doing well In the mainstream preschool class. His preschool is family run so the senco has her son in the same class as our son and the class teacher is her mum. (So it's her grandson in the class). A few months ago my son came home saying another child had been pushing and hitting him. I told him to stay away from this kid, but he said the grandson of the teacher told him that this kid was his 'best friend'. Ever since the teacherand senco has put them together for activities. I raised my concerns with both the senco and class teacher. The senco brushed it off and the class teacher blamed our son and said he was the one had hurt the other child. She also said he wouldn't be ready for p1, wouldn't sit still and should be more like another child (she named them and they were the best friend of the grandson and n/t). I just get the feeling this kid is being pushed onto my kid because he's quiet and they don't want other parents upset. I know this kid has been picking on another child in the class too because he's small. An o/t visited my son in nursery and said he was Brill and had no sensory issues (no issues sitting still etc). And was really impressed with him. The teacher and senco have been pretty nasty with me since I raised my concerns and said as well that our younger son wouldn't have a space in their preschool class (despite us paying almost £1000 to them for wraparound/nursery care which is their criteria). I had the review meeting with the senco today and she mentioned how good friends my son is with this boy and how you can't force friendships....yet their son told my son who was his best friend...? I'm just broken with these people quite frankly and how nasty they are.

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Pinkypinkyplonk · 07/06/2024 07:53

Leave, find another school

Babybrain26 · 07/06/2024 10:28

@Pinkypinkyplonk trust me I'm counting down the days. At the review yesterday though they asked me about doing their summer scheme and having our son still attend 1 class a week with them (and this other kid will still be there as he's being held back). They basically keep saying he 'needs' these classes in order to make any friends at his new school. All the other staff members I spoke to recently all say he's lovely and easy to work with.

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Jeezitneverends · 07/06/2024 10:32

Why haven’t you run very fast to another provider?

Never ever use childcare where there are family children of the providers

HateMyRubbishBoss · 07/06/2024 10:38

“Family run” you see for a school setting doesn’t really work
for many many reasons you need bigger settings so that kids can have more friendship opportunities

my kids used to be in small private primary (10-12 kids per class) and we went through the nightmare you’re describing

Babybrain26 · 07/06/2024 11:57

The only reason we didn't leave months ago was because I rang children's law for advice and they recommended not to pull them because our eldest was awaiting assessment by the education board for a possible statement. They said it would be good to have the nursery on board for evidence. The ea refused to assess him and a solicitor has now said the evidence in our case is weak. He's starting p1 in September and will be leaving in 2 weeks but I feel awful as he's been left to play outside in the rainy himself a few times (according to him) and he only ever seems to get the opportunity to play with this one kid (also possible asd), he hardly ever plays with anyone else in the class. The senco said they 'get on so well because they're at the Same level'. Which I disagree with. And basically ensued that I shouldn't have tried to force a friendship with her son and mine because her son is much more advanced...trust me I never forced any particular friends upon my son, (even if i was that way inclined, I'm not in the classroom to do so!). I just wanted him to have the opportunity to be friends with whoever he wanted rather than being told by their child/them. It's all a bit late now, but I feel so powerless.

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