Come on, let’s be honest.
The advantage of private schools is not that you are paying for a better quality of education (which arguably you could also get in an outstanding school) but that you are paying for exclusivity because the school is selective.
When people on MN discuss how their child can’t go to the terrible local state school, what are they taking about? The quality of teaching? I doubt it, because state schools have to employ teachers who actually have a teaching qualification whereas private schools can employ anyone. My guess is that it’s the smaller class sizes, the better behaviour, the better facilities, the better opportunities. And that is a privilege you have to pay for.
In a private school, you know your child will be sharing a classroom with other children whose parents are paying a lot of money for their education. Behaviour will be better, the teacher will be spending a heck of a lot less time doing classroom management. The school can focus on education rather than social issues.
They certainly won’t be sharing a classroom with the scared refugee children who can’t speak a word of English. With the traumatised child who is in Care because of abusive/drug addicted parents. With the ones who are only in school 50% of the time because parent is depressed and doesn’t get them up in the morning. With the children with behaviour issues who are on a managed move from another school who can’t cope with them anymore.
In state non selective schools, a lot of time is taken up managing social and behavioural issues.
Yes there are a some state schools in very expensive areas with a small catchment who are exclusive because of high house prices. However, those schools are the minority and they are still obliged to take children with an EHCP or in Care or with significant medical needs - distance from school comes after those criteria.
I think just be honest about why you are paying for a private education and not all this faux ‘I am taking my (well-behaved, academic, 100% attendance, healthy, sporty child) out of the state education system so there’s more room for the rest of you!’