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Original poster

How do you promote big school to your child if....

17 replies

CoffeeMad · 02/04/2008 21:24

When they start in September all their friends from nursery and all their neighbours are going to school A and your child is being allocated a place in school B? (no older sibling and just found out we are out of catchment by 300yards)

Please I am genuinely interested in what you think...

OP posts:

sleepycat · 02/04/2008 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deegward · 02/04/2008 21:25

isn' this exciting!! YOU are going to have TWO sets of friends, one from home and one from school. WOO hoo you are sooo lucky

HTH

improvingslowly · 02/04/2008 21:39

do not make a big deal of it. they wil only get in a pickle if you and family & friends say you are going to a different school to everyone else but iam sure you will be really brave and fine.

my children went to a nursey at DPs work and they all went to differnet schools when they left. it was not a big deal to the children, v few went to school with others they knew.

BigBadMouse · 02/04/2008 21:46

Glad to read this thread. DD1 is starting in Septmeber, has lots of freinds at nursery, none of whom are going to her school . I'm telling myself, she is young and will adapt quickly but I keep thinking of all those friends she has had since she was 6mo who she is unlikey to see very much again (and they are such a nice bunch too). She has no understanding of this yet and I hope she will be so busy making enw friends at her new school that she won't miss the old ones.

All I can think of to promnote her new school to her is that it has a big playhouse in the playground - that seems to be enough atm .

Are you happy with her allocated school?

Original poster

CoffeeMad · 02/04/2008 21:58

Not really and its just a stop gap to me as I am hopefully moving into catchment area of school A (although house has been up for sale since new year)so when is anyone's guess.

I worry about her going to school B for max 1year and then moving her into school A and having to leave her new friends..AAAGGHHH!

OP posts:

windygalestoday · 02/04/2008 22:00

i think the more you make of it the more she will feel it,my children have rarely gone to a local school i always opt for ones miles away and its good that children have a variety of friendships.

CarGirl · 02/04/2008 22:00

Coffee will they have places though, the school you have been allocated may not be a stop gap if the other school is full?

Heated · 02/04/2008 22:14

DS is starting school in Sept & will know no one since it's a small school with one form entry and no one he goes to nursery with is in the catchment area. I could have sent him to a school a bit further away where he knew more children but am pretty confident he'll quickly make friends. The staff do a lot to help them settle anyway, like staggered starts.

We chat about school when we walk past, point out the children having fun in the playground, the smart uniform etc, just happy conversation.

Original poster

CoffeeMad · 02/04/2008 22:14

You are all right. I know it... I just feel so down about it at the moment. All her relatives are going to this school and all the children in the street are also going there.

I suppose I should just be pleased for her to have a different set of friends.

The school she has been allocated is smaller and seemed nice/friendly when I went to have a look. It's just a rough area, but I suppose ther is rough wherever you go.

OP posts:

cat64 · 02/04/2008 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

CoffeeMad · 02/04/2008 22:17

Please don't get me wrong she is extremely keen to go to "big" school and wanted to go in when I dropped off the forms.

I have found I can be enthusiastic about almost anything now I have kids

OP posts:

BigBadMouse · 02/04/2008 22:43

Coffeemad - please tell me how to be enthusiastic about reading 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' and I just can't do it and have hidden it from DD

I'm sure the big school will work out fine for you both. I was happy with my choice of school for DD but now we have got in all those niggling doubt are setting in, I'm certain if she was off with all her friends at the same school I would feel a bit better (maybe because the other parents could confirm to me it was a good choice of school). I don't know any other mums at the new school and I think that makes me worry a bit. That said, it seemed really good when I looked round...help! I can't worry about this until September (or let on to DD how I feel she is too small to be off on her own )

yurt1 · 02/04/2008 22:48

ds2 did this. Went to a school where he knew no-one. All hs nursery friends went elsewhere. He settled in very quickly. I don't think I promoted it as such- just gushed about big school.

bluenosesaint · 02/04/2008 22:51

Only one child from dd2's nursery started school with her. She hasn't had any problems and has a lovely lot of friends.

DD1 moved schools at the beginning of Year One and had no problems making friends at all.

I wouldn't play it any way tbh. Just that that is the way it is. Children are much better at these things than we are

pooka · 02/04/2008 22:55

More or less the same happened to dd in january.
We said

how exciting, what a lovely field the school has (other school only has small playground)
what fantastic play equipment
the school has a pond, with frogspawn
2 lots of friends
same school mummy went to when she was a little girl
what a lovely long walk to school we can have. think of the fun things we might see
green is so your colour, you always say how much you dislike blue

She has settled really really well. Am loving her new friends, and she still sees her pre-school friends often.

To be honest, I found it pretty hard to leave the circle of friends I had made at the pre-school gates (on the same site as the school we missed out on). But I'm feeling better now, and I've realised that I'm not missing out on the chit chat because I maybe make more of an effort outside of school.

Original poster

CoffeeMad · 02/04/2008 23:02

I have been discussing this in front of her with other members of my family but am going to stop now!

I also can't worry about this until September - good point BBM.

It has affected my mood and have become more "shouty" since I had the phonecall saying she was refused last week.

OP posts:

Smithagain · 03/04/2008 14:04

On a practical level, you may find that the school organises some settling in sessions of some sort during this term. We had four "story time" sessions when the children who were starting in September got to go in and have a story with the current Reception class.

On the back of that, one or two parents arranged a picnic at the beginning of September, just before they started, so people could start getting to know each other in a very laid back context.

It was just enough to make the whole thing seem unthreatening. Hopefully the school you have been allocated will have some sort of programme set up - maybe you could ring and ask them.

The other side of things is to make up your mind now that you will make the effort to help her keep in touch with her pre-school friends if they do end up at different schools. It does take a certain amount of parental effort - to make sure there are play dates etc outside school hours when they can see other friends. But very, very healthy to have a circle of friends outside school, so she is not totally dependent on the children in her class - and you get to be very nosy about what other schools get up to!

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