Stowe Feeders or Godstowe - help desperately needed

[RachelGreensFlair]

Growing up I’d never imagine asking this question, as Independant schools were just a different universe. But since getting a big promotion at work I’m considering my options for DD who is currently 15 months old.

We live in Bucks, and Stowe is our goal (it’s local which helps too), we were initially looking at Ashfold School, but when looking at the good schools guide we then moved our attention to Godstowe.

However after reading a bit from past MN posts about the school I am concerned they usually feed other girls schools in the High Wycombe area, and since they are non selective it might not be the best move if Stowe is the end goal.

Which has then led to us now looking at Swanbourne House or Winchester House (although Winchester is further away) as they feed Stowe.

But this is an absolute minefield, I have no family or friends who have gone this route so I wanted to ask here - has anyone got any advice, should I go with one of the Stowe feeder schools, is Godstowe excellent and worth it even if DD doesn’t then go onto Stowe. I am ambitious and want the same for her, so I feel a bit uneasy with Godstowe being a bit ‘for all’ in terms of her being pushed to her full potential.

I am also not sure how this process works, do I need to register DD now, even though I’d not like her to start until pre prep, are wait lists long etc.

thanks in advance - I really appreciate any guidance in this area

what you’re proposing is bonkers! You’ll have no life whatsoever, you’ll have an exhausted miserable dd too! Go for the best school which is close to you. See how she is academically by age 9-10, then start making plans. You can’t let having a child dictate your entire life. I’m a professional, run a business have three kids. All my kids are different, are in different schools for different reasons.
The best laid plans…….
Just enjoy her, if she’s happy she’ll be fine wherever she is. Do your best for her, but you dont need to turn your lives upside down

Our issue is that there aren’t any super local, it would be a 25-30 min drive anyway, so our view was what’s an extra 15-20 mins if you’re already driving a bit anyway.

But it’s a good point made about play dates etc. especially if they’re 20-30 mins in the other direction that would be an hour and a bit which would be a bit of faff, although not uncommon for us at a weekend currently

Well it’s not really turning our lives upside down, it’s an extra 10 mins on our current nursery commute.

When you have to do it daily for 8 years, you won’t feel the same!

You are really not comparing like with like here. Godstowe is single sex and is a feeder for some of the most academic schools in the country (and can be ruthless in exiting children who they don't think meet that criteria). The others you are suggesting are co-ed average prep schools whose pupils will go to a whole range of schools.
Why are you so set on Stowe? I imagine anyone going there from Godstowe would find it quite easy in comparison but your DD may well be the only one going to Stowe with lots of others off to bigger name schools.

What I mean is it won't be an extra 10mins each way for you. If it is a 45min journey you will need to allow an hour for the journeys to the school to ensure you are there on time. And you then have the dead time waiting. So it will take up even more of your day.

I think the thing is, you seem to think that any of us who respond haven’t had similar distances etc and demands to consider and that you’re different in some way? It’s not an extra 20 minutes, it would be an extra 40 mins (probably more) each journey, and longer when you have to go pick up later or drop back and watch something.

And as others have said, you may think an hour is nothing as you do it often - but to school and back twice is different and other parents just don’t have that time at weekends to be heading an hour plus to yours and back again and then come back to pick up the little cherub. I speak as a mum of two (years 3 and 4) who go to schools 3 miles away but who have friends from various areas but none are that far away and I’m not sure how I’d make any play dates work!

It’s not even as though you get to heave a sigh of relief that you’re in until 18.

@RachelGreensFlair The traffic around there is hellish.

Getting through Wycombe at rush hour a nightmare.
Lots of schools around there and is often gridlocked.
My DD had friends there and played matches there-I can't say strongly enough that I just wouldn't.

I think it would be so so stressful for both of you. If you think 20 mins a day each way longer (but very unpredictable and could be more) it will be close to 3 hours a week. that is a lot and it's not a nice relaxing drive to chat and catch up-it's very stressful and unpleasant.

Does Godstowe have Saturday school? Because you'll need to factor that in as well.

Stowe is about the most unselective school in the country, as long as you’re prepared to pay then they’ll have you!! It’s not at all academic and it definitely wouldn’t be on my list of secondary schools, people around here only send their kids to Stowe as a status of wealth!!

Why have you chosen Stowe as a 'goal' for a child you have high academic hopes for?? It is very much 'for all' as you put it. Although they've pulled the academic bootstraps up a bit these days, it's not so long ago that it was virtually thought of as a special school for the super wealthy.

If it became a big issue we would just move closer. Distance isn’t the issue or question here, I am looking for views on the schools themselves

This is the opposite of what the good school guide states about Godstowe which is why I posted, so thank you for this!

From reading past posts on here and all the info online it sounded like Godstowe wasn’t super ‘pushy’ regarding the academics, and that a lot of those who move on do so into local grammar schools.

We really like Stowe in general, we visit regularly and one of the consultants we were recommended to look into has it on their list of 8 top schools, one of the most prestigious they refer to it as. It also has a good track record of students moving onto Cambridge or Oxford. Most recent ISI review rated academic outcomes as excellent.

Considering the amount of people on her bleating on about staying local, not sure why Stowe is questioned since it’s the closest Independant higher school near us.

I am merely saying I don’t really understand why the point is being labored. Currently we spend 35 mins each way for nursery drop off, an extra 10-15 mins is really not that big of a deal. Those saying ‘it’s not it will be at least an hour plus each way’ have no idea where we currently live, as I said I’ve done the routes with the drop off time set.

We already tend to drive at least 2-4 hour return journeys at the weekends to visit friends or family. So it’s not that unusual for us and therefore I am not quite seeing the issue. Just a few days ago at the weekend we drove for 5 hours as a round trip to visit family down on the coast. The weekend before spent 3 hours round trip to visit my MIL etc. an hour or so to visit a friend for a party isn’t abnormal so I’m not quite understanding why this point is being repeated.

If it did become an issue and we liked the school we would just move closer.

I haven’t asked about travel times, I’ve merely asked about which school would be better all round. As we can move, the schools can’t.

Have you lived in your village for a while OP as I'm surprised you've not heard before about Stowe's reputation? The previous posters are spot on. As you are Bucks what about the grammars as RLS is good as are the Aylesbury grammars.

“Gifted pathway” at 15 months?

😂😂😂

Honestly, just relax and enjoy your daughter.

I'm privately educated locally and live locally to Stowe - I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole, OP. I went onto study medicine from a GDST school and i would never have achieved as well in the wrong school so I feel passionately about getting it right for my own children.

If my children don't get into the grammars after beachborough I will move. Stowe is not academic at all. Don't kid yourself that they got a few into oxbridge, look deeper. Look at the gcse and a level results on their website. Compare the 7-9 at gcse rates and then their A star to B and A star - A grades to the local grammars and other (better) private schools local-ish- Magdalen college Oxford, Bedford modern school, Oxford GDST or Headington to name a few. I can't find any good private secondary schools in north bucks, hence why I'm advising you to look further afield.

All the info is available online and clearly accessible. If after reading those statistics you still think Stowe is "academic" for what is possibly an academically gifted child then you are in cloud cuckoo land.

Eg Stowe 2023 for gcse just 50% of all grades were 7-9 (the old A and A star grades back in my day!) - Magdalen college school Oxford 94%, Oxford High GDST 89%, royal Latin grammar 67%. You are literally paying for worse results here.

Don't let your child down by falling into the trap that paying for private means she will achieve her best and do better. She won't at a school like you've set your heart on. You're at risk of getting swept up in the romance of how sending a child to a fancy school appears due to how you view its prestige and appearance. Yes the grounds are lovely. But you should find a properly academic private school that suits her needs and ensure she achieves her full potential

5 years, so not heard of the reputation personally, although it’s often referred to on guides online but it’s clear from those it’s changed somewhat, especially with it winning the Tatler best public school award in 2022 etc.

Yes, she can already count, use 3-4 word sentences and has been moved two rooms up at nursery due to being held back in a room with 12-18 month olds who still can only say mama and dada. So they have put her on the gifted pathway, which they state usually doesn’t happen until 2+ but she is fulfilling all the criteria early.

Thank you so much for this, yes I think when visiting so much I did get swept up with Stowe, it’s a gorgeous building and every time we have been for events etc. all the pupils seem so engaged.

Not sure why I didn’t think to look into schools Oxford way, will look a bit more into Oxford GDST (as Magdalen college seems to be only for boys until 6th form)

Stowe always attracts lots of negative comments Op. I know first hand the children joining year on year from one of the feeder preps, and they include many many of the academic children and scholars. The school has increased its day provision significantly which has meant more local parents sending their children there, as an alternative to the grammar. Plenty pick Stowe over the grammar because of the sports etc. I have an academic Son and will be sending him there as day pupil. Whilst it is not highly selective, it’s not a remedial school! Take sème of vitriol with a pinch of salt, a lot of comments are based on outdated knowledge.

I think Stowe has been through a bit of a troubled time recently, but from what I’ve heard, the head seems to acknowledge this, and given the age of your DD, it could be a hugely different landscape by the time she is senior school age.

You should focus on finding the right pre-prep/prep for your daughter as she is developing now, and reflecting what is important to you - if necessary, you can always move her from pre-prep into another prep school.

I appreciate you are used to a long journey to nursery already, but it is a different kettle of fish doing it to school - they get so tired, and there is homework / reading to consider after school, and also any after-school clubs or events requiring that long drive home after. We did 18 months of a 30 min journey (which was easily 45 mins a lot of the time) before the kids moved to their current schools, and it was awful for everyone.

Godstowe is a great school, in my opinion, but I don’t think worth such a long commute.
Ashfold is probably much closer to you - and I know a friend’s daughter there has just received two scholarships to Stowe.

Another piece of advice I would give, with two very bright kids of my own, is that “gifted-ness” can often go hand-in-hand with neurodiversity (it’s called Dual or Multiple Exceptionality). It will be some time before you know if this applies to your DD or not, but it is worth bearing in mind, because you need a school that will support and welcome your child, and help them
achieve their best.

No 15 month old is "gifted" are they getting extra money from you due to the "extras" that they are providing? Honestly let the child develop then decide on school. I'd concentrate on finding a school for the primary years that's a good fit both in proximity and ethos rather than being concerned about pathways - you can always change in year 3/4 if you decide her needs different.

Be aware that many a "gifted" 18 month old has subsequently got other issues and private schools aren't the best way always

Of course they’re not getting extra money, they have however moved her up into the older rooms and are doing more of the pre school work with her opposed to sitting singing row row row your boat.

She is leaps and bounds above her peers at the moment so I can see why they pegged her for the gifted pathway - which tends to happen around 24 months when speaking to other parents at other nurseries.

Thank you for this, we did go through the M-CHAT screening with her HV and she is coming out low risk so I’m hoping that isn’t the case, but I do understand screenings can be more difficult for girls than boys

I’m not sure about the advice you consultant is giving you - Stowe is not regarded as an academic school and does not have a good record of getting students into Oxbridge (Oxford Brookes yes!).