Pre-school denied place due to daughters hypermobility / delayed walking

[PeppermintTeaThenBed]

Hello mumsnet,

I looking to get some advice on the below. Sorry for the length but wanted to give full details

For background: My daughter is 20 months and is hypermobile (confirmed by physiotherapist). This means that she has such a wide range of movement in her lower joints (hips, knees and ankles) and is highly flexible. Hypermobility is very common and in my daughters case means she has had a delay in her gross motor skills. Before Christmas, she could barely roll nor crawl and refused to bare any weight at all on her feet . She could sit up confidently and moved about by bum shuffling. We started physio in December and since this time, her progress has been slow but steady. She can now crawl confidently, will stand at furniture (not yet pulling up) but will walk with assistance (holding her hands) and walk with her walker without assistance. We are thrilled with this. To add - she has no other additional educational needs - she has excellent fine motor skills and her language skills are appropriate for her age.

I had hoped my daughter would start at our local pre-school in September (she will be 2 in July - her brother already attends the setting in question) and I had put her application in well over a year ago. In the recent weeks and months with September creeping closer on the horizon - I was concerned that her lack of walking would be an issue. Therefore over recent weeks, i asked 3 separate members of staff on 3 separate occasions if this would be an issue. On all 3 occasions I was told it would not be a problem.

In March, we had 2 "stay and play" sessions. Where again I was open and transparent about my daughter and her current issues she has. Nothing was mentioned.

Approximately 3 days later I received an email from the preschool, saying she would not be successful in her admission to the preschool as they cannot "support her needs".

To say I am flabbergasted is an understatement. I have spoken to her physio (who has written a supportive letter) and 2 independent SENCOS who have explained to me that the pre-school should be making reasonable adjustments for her and denying her admission is an example of direct discrimination under Disability Rights. The preschool claim they do not have the staff ratio to support her. My daughter will attending 2 days a week and cannot see how, with 5 months notice, they are unable to offer enhanced support. My daughter does not require 1:1 support. She currently attends a nursery (1 day a week) where they have been very supportive and worked with us to help develop her gross motor skills. She requires no additional equipment. They have not even approached her physio for more information even though I offered her details at the stay and play session

I have also spoken to a health visitor regarding this, who has advised me to review the Equality Act as this seems completely in breach of this.

I have since found out that previously, the preschool had a child who was a wheelchair user. It has shocked me how some forms of Disability are deemed to be inclusive at this preschool, but my daughters temporary impairment is not. We had a physio appointment today, and of course she cannot say for sure - but she is confident my daughter will be taking steps within in the next few weeks. So come September when I wanted her start preschool, this may not be a problem for her anyway.

I just wonder if anyone has any advice regarding this / have been through similar? I have a meeting with preschool where I would like to voice how unfair this situation seems to us. Thanks in advance

What is your desired outcome? Are you still keen on getting a place for dd despite the preschool’s lack of inclusiveness? Or are you just looking to hold them accountable?

I have a ND dd, and I pick my battles. There are some situations where I fight for inclusivity because access to whatever service or venue would make a meaningful difference for her. Other times I walk away because I can find alternative provision with someone more welcoming and/or I believe there is little chance of achieving inclusivity / feel like the end result would be negative for dd. We have walked away from some extracurriculars where it was pretty clear key staff had no interest or capacity for accommodations, however minimal.

This pre-school SHOULD be able to accommodate, but if they don’t do so willingly is it still a good experience for dd? Are there other options that would be more accommodating?

you absolutely could get a lawyer or educational consultant and pursue this - based on experience in my SEN support group this is the quickest and most effective way of shifting a no to a yes - but is it worth your time, energy and money in light of alternatives?

I can’t offer any useful advice, but this sounds pretty shocking to me as your requests and accommodations sound reasonable and not hard for the pre-school to support imo. My DN has similar issues and is making fantastic progress like your daughter. Just sending some virtual support. 💕

@PeppermintTeaThenBed

As her brother already goes to the pre-school, I can understand why you would want her to go there too.

Could your GP write a letter which explains the nature of what is affecting her and how it is likely to be affecting her at the point when she is ready to start?

If, despite appeals, she can't be accepted, is there somewhere else suitable locally?

I have no advice, sorry OP, just sad and shocked to read this.

My 2yo also has joint hypermobility and a hip condition and has been at nursery since he was 10 months old, which was obviously before we realised there were any issues. He started walking at 21 months old. He goes to a private day nursery which is part of a big chain and they have been nothing but supportive and helpful. He wears orthopaedic shoes for half of each day which need changing by staff and those first few months of walking when he was moved into the second room he needed a bit of extra supervision in the outdoor area as he was so prone to falls then. Other than that I wouldnt say he requires any extra support at nursery anymore particularly and he's just moved again into another room. He is on the SENDCo's register and has a written support plan at the nursery and I keep them updated on his care.

Thank you all for the words of support - it has made me validated at the very least.

@Labraradabrador I completely understand your points, particularly the one regarding would I even want her to go there anyway considering their treatment of her situation. I feel between a rock and a hard place - my son is starting school in September and I've had to do a mass change to my hours to allow me to start early to finish in time for school pick up. Me and my partner had worked out that he could drop our son at breakfast club (the school is a 2 minute walk), then our daughter to the neighbouring preschool and get to work for his normal start. At her current nursery, which is located near my work, they do not open early enough for me to drop her at new work start time. It would be logistical nightmare for my partner to do school drop off, then get her to her current nursery and then to work. I have also enquired at the school nursery, however they do not accept children until the year they turn 3. It's all such a shock as they have been great with my son and up till this I haven't had any complaints. I suppose I just want to admit how terribly this has been handled.

@CutieCommoner and @TheSquareMile thank you. I have a letter from her physio following from her appointment today about the progress she has made and the predicted timescale of when she may be walking which I will take to the meeting.

@WeightoftheWorld thats fantastic about your son and I hope my daughter will be where he is in no time 🙂. You must be thrilled - it's a shame we have to consider moving her from her current nursery as the SENCO is great and generally seems to care about her progress. The nursery owners daughter was the same as mine, so she has provided great advice. The move to preschool would just make life run slightly more smoothly and being next to the school, would allow her to make friendships she could carry into when she starts at school. I do feel as a working parent there are so many hoops to jump through!

This seems very strange to me and a massive over-reaction on their part. Your daughter sounds very similar to how our son was, he is hypermobile, also had a physio, and bum shuffled between the ages of about 1-2. He never crawled. He took his first steps around his second birthday. He attended nursery for a year as a non walker and it didn't really impact him too much at all. All the tables, toys etc are low down, the book corner and home corner etc all perfectly accessible to him. He would push a toy buggy around the room while bum shuffling and join in to the best of his abilities with everything. You will probably find that your daughter is starting to get up on her feet by September but it really shouldn't be a barrier to her attending and enjoying nursery either way.

Our son is 6 now, and is doing great. He is a good walker, gets a bit tired at the end of an active day but his stamina is growing. He loves to play football and is particularly good at gymnastics, which his physio suggested we get him into to build muscle strength. Also swimming.

Is it a private or funded place? If they accept government funding there are not allowed to discriminate, but that may only apply once she is eligible. Contact the LA if so. If they feel she needs 1:1 support ask about an ehcp.