Millie- I wouldn't worry too much about the waiting list, as long as you reserve a place soon. There are bound to be some people who cannot take up their place due to moving for work/business etc. If I read you correctly and you mean Sept 2009, you have a while yet.
IME tutoring children from a young age to pass the 11+ is a waste of time and money.
Those tutored to pass the exam cannot cope at the grammar schools, as they are not actually bright enough to keep up. They become incredibly unhappy, and require tuition through secondary school too. In some cases they are asked to leave.
If you're spending in the region of 6.5k on tuition at a bare minimum (1 hr per week, from age 6, assuming £25 per hour)- why not just save it for fees at an independent school if your child does not get in to the grammar? Of course, tuition for 11+ is still a great deal cheaper than moving into the catchment area of a good secondary school (don't know which part of B'ham you're in). Tuition fees for the whole of Primary however, are not.
That said, many of the independent schools select on performance too (KEHSG and EHSG in particular).
How bright does your daughter seem? (bearing in mind her tender age )
At EHSG we were told that girls who were not performing well enough to be kept on into the secondary department would be informed of that by the end of year 4, so that their parents had time to make alternative arrangements for Y7. I was a little surprised, so pushed further, and was told that some choose to wait until Y6, then leave at a normal transition time, others choose to leave immediately after Y4.