Getting DD (8) to make more of an effort

[spiderplant56]

I'm just wondering if anyone has successfully managed to get an educationally uninterested child to actually engage/ put some effort in with school work?

DD is 8 so year 3 and since reception it's always been said she's slightly behind her peers. Especially maths, she'd just doesn't get any of it!

We've paid for tutors, try to get her to do extra bits at home but she fights us on everything. A simple question like what's the capital of England gets meet with "I'm not answering"

She's a bright girl, friendly and kind. Goes into school happy enough but doesn't love it. She just coasts, does the bare minimum and a lot of things just go in one ear and out the other!

We have a real issue in our area where the secondary schools are pretty dreadful because we have several local grammars. But I don't see her being able to do the 11+ or cope at grammar school.

I don't want anyone to think I want to push her to be some A* student. I wouldn't mind what results she gets along as she's trying, but she just doesn't!

The only thing that truly worked for DD was us backing off from a parental point of view and letting relatively strict teachers/tutors handle things. Also a few frank discussions about what sort of school she could end up in if she doesn’t at least try. If her friends are likely to end up at the grammar schools then that could also be a motivating factor for her

DD went from being bottom of the class in Y4 to firmly top of the class in Y6 with a place at a very competitive grammar school. She hated maths and really struggled with it but a year with a really good teacher completely turned this around. It’s not impossible - don’t lose hope!!

Thank you!
Glad your DD pulled it all together in the end.

I wasn't too dissimilar when I was at school but my parents never really pushed me or showed much interest, so I coasted all the way to the end of school with little to show for it.

She’s finishing her A levels now, on track for good enough but pretty average grades… I can’t say that the coasting has gotten any better though, if anything’s it’s far worse now she’s older and more stubborn. She is clever and can pull reasonable grades out of the bag at the last minute with minimal effort but it’s just so frustrating to know that she could do so much better if she actually tried!

We’re actually now looking into a possible ADHD diagnosis mostly because of all this

Do you have a carrot? We have an annual Legoland ticket.

My dcs are pretty good and they do a lot of stuff (that they want to do) but it never hurts to remind them that sometimes they need show a bit of effort and then for me to reward that effort promptly.
No child will practice an instrument because they might be good one day but they will do 10 mins a day for a ride on a rollercoaster on a Sunday afternoon!
As it’s an annual ticket we lose nothing if we cancel and only feel the need to go for a few hours at a time rather than all day!
Agree also with backing off and letting tutors have the battle… then a good report = a treat!