Grammar school etc advice please.

[knittingmachine]

Hi all,

I am feeling awful and look for recommendations please. When my DD at the end of the year 2 we moved out of London. We bought our dream house and moved our DD state school to an independent school. We made a plan financially to move back to London after 6 years.

But the plan didn’t work as DD didn’t cope well with the school. She is in year 4 now and everyday it is getting worse. The school is very sportive and DD is academic. She enjoys science and Maths and her friends don’t enjoy these that much. After every game she gets anxious. She is very above than her classmates academically. They are teaching her advance maths (year 8) and English otherwise she gets bored and disturb others. She doesn’t have much friends and so sad about this. She is depressed and behaves horribly both school and at home. We started to see a psychologist.

We changed our plans and decided to move back to London in 2 years. I will put her to grammar school and selective independent school exams. Is it possible to get into a grammar school with no catchment from very far away (3 hours away from London)? Is there anyone who did this before? Also there are less sportive schools around us. Should we move her to another school until we move back? Please advise and don’t judge I feel terrible already.

Have a look at somewhere like Bohunt in Liphook - its not your ordinary Comp.
Easy access to London
Top streams are very top.
Lots of sports and arts
Big enough for her to find HER circle of friends

Winchester Comps are also a cracking option

Yes move her, even if you’re not returning to London now. Find a school that suits her. You can’t have her unhappy tor another two years.

Please don’t underestimate state schools.

Ours is a 9 form entry (so just over 250 kids in each year). There are 2 top sets in each year with expectations for them to pretty much all achieve A and A* across the board (we’re in Wales).

Some of the super bright kids are tutored outside of school and have sat some exams a year or two early. I’m not sure what the advantage of doing that is, they are more than capable of stretching kids in school. He’s been on the debating team, Science quiz team, competed in
maths and spelling challenges (in Welsh and English), sings in the choir, has performed in their annual performances of major shows. There is an amazing choice of trips and other extracurricular activities as well. There are so many kids that if you don’t want to play the sports on offer competitively against other schools then you don’t have to

our ds is in top sets for all of his subjects , and will be sitting triple science and additional maths and I really don’t think he would get better results than he is on track to get at a fee paying or selective school.

you need to focus on finding the right school for your dd and forget the grammar and independent school labels.

I think the Dorset preps (and indeed secondary independents) all have a fairly significant focus on sport (because we have a lot of space so why not?) - however, possibly the issue is that the school is small so there is only one team per year and that has to encompass everyone from someone who plays county hockey OOS to someone who can't hit the ball, and that is never that fun for anyone. My DC go to a fairly typical Dorset prep (dogs, chickens, daily games, muddy x-country) but it is fairly big so they can get at least 2 teams out per year/gender (often 3), and so DC can play at their own level against dc of similar ability. However, be under no illusions that another, bigger prep school would just let her opt out as they most likely wouldn't. It's seen as much a part of the curriculum as maths.

I would maybe look at renting your house and moving back into Surrey/London and sending her somewhere more academic with less sport or moving back to the state system in Dorset depending on your options. It seems the school she's at doesn't really tick any boxes. There are loads of v v academic London preps.

Yes if I can this is the first idea but we need time financially. We need to sell the house etc. House prices fall down and we will lose money if we sell now. Unfortunately we need to wait.

Yes we should think about renting. Thanks for the idea.

Wells cathedral school? Or similar would be an option for a musical non sporty kid. Friends kids go to Bristol cathedral school and love it, neither like sport

Thank you and well done to your ds. I will check the comprehensive schools as well.

Colyton Grammar in East Devon?

Where in Dorset? Others mentioned Poole grammer but wondered if you could consider colyton gs over the boarder in east Devon? I'm sure there are busses from Bridport, Lyme Regis, Yeovil (I know not Dorset but close). I know this isn't catchment based.

Didn't see the post right above that said the same thing

The Sutton grammars (Wallington and Nonsuch) have it so the top 100 places go on the score rather than on catchment (then the remaining places are a catchment area and the Sutton postcode for the final 30). So it doesn’t matter where you live - DD is at Nonsuch and a few still live and commute from Hounslow.
it does mean you have to score high on it and it isn’t just out of catchment (DD got one of the places and we are definitely in catchment)

And isn’t sporty at all! But loves Dance and music

My advice is that you should move to somewhere in or near Bristol and put your daughter into Bristol Grammar School - this is an independent school rather than a state grammar. Bristol is a lot cheaper than London so you will be able to afford a good house and by train it's only 90 minutes into central London which isn't that much longer than some outer-zone parts of greater London so you'll be able to have a lot of the London activities you miss. BGS is an all through school so your DD won't need to change schools yet again for y7, it's strongly academic and has a good sports programme but they won't be too pushy to force her into sports she doesn't like but will help her find a sport she does like. tbh there are probably similar kinds of independent schools in various other cities within easy reach of London so if Bristol seems too far then look for a similar kind of school somewhere closer like eg Reading or Colchester - the closer you get to London the more expensive the house prices and school fees will be so pick the balance between distance and prices that you can accept and afford.

Which school is she at? Is it Croft house? If not is it co Ed or mixed?

I have a very non sporty nerdy clever dd who is in her absolute element at grammar school - not London but honestly I couldn't have hoped for more. She was also under stimulated and bored at primary.

Friendships wobbled a bit years 6/7 but she's found her feet now with a lovely group of girls that are a lot like her.

Op I think your first instinct to get her into a grammar are correct.

But get her out of the sporty school honestly sounds grim and pe is nothing once you leave school. Both my kids hate pe and I'm grateful daily pe isn't compulsory as an adult!

Any old local primary won't have this obsessional focus on pe and she might make friends much more easily. All the best x

The Latymer school in Enfield takes kids from all over the northeast quarter of London. There's a list of postcodes in the admissions section of their website. ( Don't confuse it with Latymer Upper in Hammersmith, which is completely different)

It's an academic state grammar (so no fees) and the sports are mostly optional. Your DD would have to sit an admission test in the August just before the start of year 6. It's very competitive, though, be warned.

Wallington, Nonsuch and HBS in London has places without catchment - you can apply and get a place no matter where you live in the UK,if you score high enough.

Latymer mentioned by PP had a wide catchment but you would need to live to London by certain time before you get admitted even you score high enough.

Independent selective in London has no catchment restrictions.

You need to be within 2 miles of Bexley Grammar to get in if you pass the 11+ (although not sure about top 180, like you say it would not be a plan to rely on!)

Yeah you do if you pass but top 180 can take their pick, regardless of distance.

trying for a grammar in 2.5 years would seem far too long to wait.
Have you had an assessment by someone familiar with gifted kids? (either a registered psychologist with an interest in gifted kids or by potential plus) She could either be exceptionally/profoundly gifted, or DME, or both.

To be honest it sounds like the school are trying quite hard to meet her needs. It's rare in the UK system to be given work more than a year or two above chronological age.
She may be happier in a year group above chronological age. Schools generally won't do it without a strong push from a formal assessment.